I have and will contact a man that I am interesting in.
What makes me stop contacting him may be the following:
#1. His lack of communication. Answering with just a basic yes or no despite having no profile completed that leads to questions to ask that will open various conversations. Therefore leaving me with nothing to base our compatibility upon.
#2. Lack of conversation leads to him being a scammer because he may revert to short words and use words I have in my profile to respond.
#3. After awhile I can tell whether or not I may be wasting my time based on #1 or #2. I hate being asked things that are on my profile that are very obvious such as height, age, I have left enough information on my profile so that a person can have start a conversation with me. I was very thoughtful and look for the same character traits when I am trying to get to know someone.
After all, at this stage in our lives IMHO we should be more through in what we want and need when seeking relationships.
I also wanted to thank you because I, too, remember when I was in a dark place going through a very very tough time. The last thing I wanted was a relationship. I knew I was broken and wasn't in good shape emotional, financially, etc to be 100% committed to a relationship.
What I also saw was a double standard as well. At this point in my life, I don't have the resources nor energy to keep starting over much less with another grown person. It's just not my choice. If I was already in a relationship, that would be a different story but to start out behind the 8 ball is not something I'd choose at this stage in my life.
Thank you for your input. What is so disheartening when sharing your experiences on open forums as a means to help people and/or so others can see that they are not alone, some tend to over analyze.
Asking a person questions online doesn't mean you'll get different results. The bottom line is that if a person is deceitful, a liar, or just means no others no good, they will do ANYTHING to deceive you. Actually, they tend to seek out the do-gooders. It's just who they are and nature is made up of predators who seek out the ones they can prey upon.
Good thing is that I learned quickly and didn't loose anything but some of my time.
I understand because I'm sick and tired of the same. There is nothing you can do about it when you're online trying to be yourself. The good thing I gained is the experience. After awhile, I was able, as I'm hoping the same for you, to easily recognize the scammers or the men who were not so serious about a relationship.
At this point in my life I go by more than what I hear. I go by the actions and in this case it proved to be the case more than his words.
I've learned to walk away very quickly since I've learned from my past experiences and my of the time people wonder if I even have a heart. But you know your limits, you wants versus your needs. This is how I stay drama free and out of those proverbial dead end relationships that seem to drag on.
In closing, just sharing hoping to help someone. I got tons of bad dating stories.
I'm no Dr. Phil but what I'm noticing and experiencing is just how many people are dating or seeking to date that really have no business dating.
What do I mean? Let me explain a bit further by sharing one of my experiences recently. I met a man online. No different than many of us. After chatting with him for two weeks and asking key questions and showing some compatibility, he appeared to be interesting enough for us to meet in public at the library.
Across the street from the library was subway. We ate. Enjoying a great conversation as we were getting to know each other. We went our separate ways. I met him after work so I walked back to the parking garage to get my car and went home. He went his way on the train.
Later, that evening he called to make sure I made it home safe ~awww sweet I know~ and to let me know he enjoyed meeting me. I noticed that it was very noisy in his background unlike the street or store. He said yes he needed to go to a quieter area and tell me something very important.
He was living in a shelter. I proceeded to tell me why he was there but I blanked out and didn't hear his excuse. My thoughts were was are you trying to date????
I responded, "I'm sure that you are a nice man but why are you dating?" "You should be focused on getting yourself together right now"
In closing, he wasn't happy with my response and told me that my spirit wasn't nice....really!!!! He doesn't even know me. So I shrugged it off.
A funny thing happen to me on my way to CDFF ~drum roll~ I started a profile awhile ago and forgot. Yep, true story. I was clearing out my yahoo account and found some old emails and re-discovered this site.
So I'm here again to meet some great people and hopefully a good man too that will be my equal. I love the woman, sister, Nana and christian I've become so I know I can share great conversations on various subjects. I'm also a bit nerdy as I love to learn and watch financial programs, travel, and I'm an ID addict as an honorable mentions when I'm not singing in my choir or attending bible study or other church functions. Need I say I love my church as I've been an active member for 30 years and I can't imagine my life without my church and God.
Nice meeting everyone and I look forward to chatting with you.
Funny story about being here, I actually didn't know I had a profile here until this week.
I imagine when I signed on to another dating site, it asked if I wanted to share my profile with multiple dating sites and I responded by a mere click "Yes". It's that simple and easy to have your profile sent to several sites and then not return unintentionally. Keeping in mind life happens ~shrugging my shoulders~.
I never took note after that of all the various sites mentioned.
Well, I don't use my yahoo account often (the one linked to the dating sites) and this week, I was cleaning it out only to discover several emails from this site. I took a peek to see and discovered I had a profile. I was amazed. So obviously I never responded to anyone and now I feel so bad about that.
I updated my profile this week. New pictures and freshened up my profile to reflect the "slightly aged" version of me lol. Which Leads me where I am right now.
