Evan1986
penitent man media blogger
- Gender
- Male | 37
- Country
- United States
- City
- Ridgeland
- State
- Mississippi
- Height
- 5'10"
- Last Login Date
- Click here to learn more
- Age
- 37
- Eye Color
- Blue
- Body Type
- Slender
- Hair Color
- Blonde
- Ethnicity
- Caucasian
- Denomination
- Presbyterian
- Looking For
- A Long Term Relationship
- Church Name
- Church Attendance
- Every week
- Church Raised In
- Do you drink?
- Socially
- Smoker
- No
- Willing to relocate?
- Possibly, who knows
- Marital Status
- Single
- Do you have children?
- No
- Do you want children?
- Does Not Want Children
- Education Level
- Some College
- My Profession
- Maintenance
- Interests
- movies, music, comics
- About Me
-
When I was 5 years old, one of my favorite TV shows was Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. My favorite character was Daniel Tiger. Now I have a niece who enjoys watching its sequel series, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. I wanted to show her the Daniel Tiger I loved when I was her age, so I pulled up a YouTube video of a duet he sang with Lady Aberlin. Their song is entitled, “Sometimes I Wonder If I'm a Mistake”. In the first three verses, Daniel expresses a fear that gives him nightmares, and cause him to panic: the fear of being the wrong king of tiger. He knows that other tigers are fierce and wild, while he is tame, weak, and mild. He sees all these difference and wonders if should be like the other tigers and if it is a mistake to be the way that he is.
Like Daniel Tiger, I am different from other people. When I went to that Preschool I mentioned in my “Too Young for Love” post, my teacher noticed that I was a unique child. After these differences became more prevalent in my life, especially after the driving mishaps I will talk about in my next post, my parents took me to a psychologist who diagnosed me with having Asperger’s Syndrome, a high functioning form of autism. This mental disability effects my daily life in a myriad of ways.
I have never been a social person. I’ll speak when I’m spoken to, but if I don’t have a reason, I don’t approach people. When people want to spend time with me, I’ll do what I’m invited to do, but I don’t feel compelled to strike up a conversation just to have something to talk about.
A lot of times, social norms, trends, and even fashion baffle me. For example, I’ve never understood why girls are taught that they can’t ask a guy out. This tradition may seem antiquated, and has come under fire from feminists, but it still exists in many Christian circles.
I’m not good at thinking and talking at the same time. During conversations with others, I get confused quite easily when people are explaining how things work or describing an event. In those times, I find myself asking questions that often have obvious answers. I also quite often find myself thinking back over my conversations and realizing what the best reply would have been far too late for me to make that remark. People also talk far too fast for me. They’ll bring up a topic and by the time I come up with something to say on it, they have moved on to another topic. I have at times forcibly brought the conversation back to that topic just so I could say what I have to say, and gotten some surprised and somewhat awkward replies and facials expressions as a result.
This is probably just an insecurity, but I have at times said the first thing that comes to mind just so I can have something to say on a topic, and what has come out are either lies or non-factual statements that I may or may not realize are wrong. These social hazards have frustrated me at times, but all in all they have made me realize that having a conversation is not really about always knowing what to say. Conversations are about having fellowship with others, knowing that your family and true friends will accept you the way you are, fumbled words and all.
Lastly, when in a large crowd of tightly congested people, I can get socially claustrophobic, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. When that happens, as long as I distance myself from that crowd and take a breather, I’m ok.
All of these struggles, as well as others I will mention in this future posts, have made me, like Daniel Tiger, wonder if it is a mistake that I am the way I am. Or rather, did God make a mistake when he made me this way? Why make a person that has a harder time being human than other people? Why subject someone to being blind, lame, deaf, down syndrome, or dyslexic? Was this a lapse in judgement on God’s part, or was it providential wisdom that is beyond our ability to completely understand?
At times, I have led myself astray by believing the former. Such thoughts have led me as far as hating God, shaking my rebellious fist and shouting “Why?!” He is sovereign and put suffering in this world for a reason. The lie I told myself in these moments is that God prioritized His glory over my good.
What glory can come out of suffering? God uses suffering to contrast his strength to our weakness and remind us of our need for Him. This is worked out in our lives daily as He provides healing, relief, and the resilience needed to rise above suffering. But the lie there is that God’s glory and our good are separate when, in fact, they are one. God’s good gifts, too numerous to count, bring Him glory, and when we see that glory, we can be made good.
As Lady Aberlin tells Daniel Tiger in the second half of the song, he is better off being the way that he is. She loves his gentle nature, his kind and friendly attitude, and wants him to stay just the way he is. “Crying or shaking or dreaming or breaking, There's no mistaking it. You're my best friend.” God says the same about us. He made us the way that we are for a myriad of reasons, some of which I will be attempting to explain with scripture as I continue posting. But most importantly, when Jesus commanded his disciples to take up their cross and follow him (Matthew 16:24-26), that command is for us as well.
The Lord has given each of us our share in His sufferings and commanded us to bear them with a willing heart for the glory of His name. To do this we must die to our selfish desire to anything other than what he intended when he created us. The cross we must carry will have splinters that stab into our backs and a weight that will be more that we can carry, but we do not carry it alone.
Jesus, through the workings of the Holy Spirit, carries our cross with us. With His help, that yoke is easier, that burden is lighter (Matthew 11:28-30). We can receive that help by remembering that we cannot carry our cross on our own, and responding in prayer with humble requests. That is why I title our study the Cross-bearing life, for that is what the Christian life is. If we do not submit to that life, we cannot become the “little Christs” God wants us to be.
- First Date
- Something Fun
- Account Settings (To message Evan1986 you must meet the following criteria.)
- Any Age.
- Appears on 1 members favorites lists
Send an abuse report regarding Evan1986's Language, Images or other account details
If you suspect this member is a SCAMMER or is being deceitful PLEASE CLICK HERE and let us know so that we can check them out