Author	Thread: Not sure what to do next(guys are welcome also)
Admin	Not sure what to do next(guys are welcome also) Posted : 15 May, 2012 12:57 PM Ok so I had a question/concern that Im trying to figure out. Its kind of a long story but stay with me. This all started about 5 months ago. Five months ago I decided to move from home when I was done with school. In the process I was introduced to a girl that lives near where I am going to be moving to. We talked back and forth on the phone and texted for about a month and a half. And we really hit it off and seem to have a lot in common. So I decided to go and visit her and we went out on a double date with two of her friends and we really hit it off well. I talked with her about it after I got home and we both enjoy each others company but decided that we should take it slow and just be friends till I get moved down there. A couple more months go by and during that time I don�t think that there was a day where we didn�t talk or txt each other. So in the middle of March I visited again and we hung out, went to dinner, and she also invited me to a game night with her friends. I had a absolute blast btw. We have continued talking and texting, and again I don�t think a day has gone by where one of us hasn�t texted or called each other. And its about a 50 50 split, Its not just me calling or texting. And at this point she has began to open up to me and tell me some pretty personal stuff about her past relationships and how God has really helped her through it. She told me that she was hurt really bad in her last two relationships , and that she has some trust issues and that when someone tries to get close to her she starts pulling away kinda like a dog that has been abused. Which I told her that I completely understand and that I don�t want to be another guy that hurts her and we have been really open with each other. This was all just after I got home the second time that we talked about this. We are still talking but recently it has seemed to change. It seems as the closer the time comes for me to move down there, which is in a couple days the more she seems to be kind of acting different. She sent me a txt the other day and it went like this � I just kinda felt like something�s missing between us as far as a relationship goes. And I�ve talked with (her best friend) about it a lot and she brought up the point that what if it�s cause you don�t live here yet and we�ve only got to hang out a few times. Which is true. But that�s why I said I don�t want to put expectations on us. Because yes something could develop, but I don�t want to try and force anything. In a relationship its just gotta come natural. But it�s been weighing heavy on my heart for a few days, I know we already talked about it but I felt like I should go in depth about why I said what I did. But I just want you to know where my heart is cause I don�t want either of us having expectations in the place and getting hurt ya know?� And I told her that it is completely understandable and that I don�t want either of us to get hurt. And I�ve been praying every night for Gods guidance in this that I�m doing the right thing. It just kinda threw me off when she said that there is something missing as far as a relationship goes. We have so much in common and we hit it off so well. I enjoy being around her and hate to say it but I�m kinda falling for her�lol She has a strong passion for the Lord and is pretty much everything that I�ve been looking for. I�m just not sure how to approach this once I�m moved down there in a couple days. Is she not interested or is this her way of pulling away when someone truly gets close to her. I�m just kinda confused, and unsure what to do next. I don�t want to end up being stuck as a friend but also don�t want to end up pushing and hurting her. Any input would be great Post Reply
View Profile History	Not sure what to do next(guys are welcome also) Posted : 21 May, 2012 05:56 AM Ok so Sunday we spent half the day hanging out together. We went for a bike ride, a walk down by the lake. We went for ice cream, then went swimming and fishing. It seems like it is starting to get better. I really enjoyed the time and had alot of fun and she wants to hang out again! I'm just going to continue to take it slow and just build a good friendship at this point. Thanks everyone for you input! Post Reply
View Profile History	Not sure what to do next(guys are welcome also) Posted : 21 May, 2012 11:37 AM God bless:) Take one step at a time and be prepared in case a sign of withdrawal shows up in between. Its natural. I am happy for you both. Post Reply
View Profile History	Not sure what to do next(guys are welcome also) Posted : 2 Jun, 2012 06:32 AM Everyone here wants a good and healthy relationship with the opposite sex. The question is are we mature enough to have one? Is the person mature enough to have one with me? What makes a mature adult is the ability to process emotion's. If your lady friend is not able to process her emotions. When you marry you will find that you will have great conflict between you. The key is learning how not to react to oneanother when you feel rejected, hurt, frustrated, etc. The book LOVE - RESPECT. He calls it the crazy cycle. I would encourage you to lead her to God in this and trust God. How do you do this? Well you talk to her about how this is to great for you and it not your job to fix this. That it is Gods responsibility. The give her room to go and be with God. Tell her you will be here when she is finished. You see this is a big deal that your relationship will not be able to move forward unless she resolves these issues in her heart. How can you compete with the past? Do you want to? Do you want the pressure of not hurting her? That is unrealistic. Everyone in relationship gets hurt. When you hurt her ( not knowingly) how can you compete with all those pent up raging emotions? I would encourage you to just think of her as a friend right now, in fact you should think of her as a sister in the Lord. Be strong brother, be of good courage......Take the time to understand your own BUTTONS and that she understands her own BUTTONS. This is the foundation of a lasting relationship and security for your futures. Post Reply

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