Thread: Submit just a thought that came to me.......
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Submit just a thought that came to me.......
Posted : 12 Aug, 2012 08:20 AM
Brothers and Sisters,
We get all confused as to what submission is in the bible, right?
I was just posting on a thread and I had to hit the submit button. Anyone here have to hit the submit button as well?
What are we doing when we hit the submit button?
We are offering freely our thoughts and feeling on a certain topic, right?
It makes sense now and this has been my sucess in my relationship my with feincee.
She offers her advice , opinion, feelings etc to me and because I love her I consider and listen to her submitted thoughts.
Could submission be as simple as this?
But also from a mans point validating her submitted thoughts and from her point submitting thoughts that will easily be recieved.
Many time we out of our great need to be heard we try to force our thoughts on another. This is not submission. Like here their are guidelines we are called to follow in comunicating. Could this site actually be training us to learn how to communicate?
For me in my relationship I want to hear her thoughts because i love her. My problem is that she many times holds back on her thoughts because she is fearful of hurting me. She tries to protect me from her feelings. I had this problem with my previous relationship.
This time I am a strong man and once she shares with me I dont react out of pride of feeling of rejection to her and can show her compassion and love instead. In my case her not sharing with me, she limits my being able to express love to her in what she is feeling.
Also God has called a mans wife to be his helper and if she holds back in submitting her thoughts how can she be his help? But women have to remember your words need to come to us with ((((((respect)))))))). Many times your words come in derission and i have seen here a command. When you come to a man without respect you will never be heard but you will only push away the man you seek to help. Your attitude toward him is everything.
This I believe is the leading cause of abuse in relationships a woman who does not know how to approace a wounded man. Women who put their men on the defense and ultimatly at war with you.
Its the difference between telling ( trying to be powerful over him) or in submission( gently submitting your advice and thoughts) A angry abusive man is a man who has been belittled all of his life and his wife belittles him as well. A abusive man is so insecure and despretly needs help from a good woman, his wife.
His abuse is his way to feel powerful because deep down in side he feels powerless. But he is to afraid to look at his powerlessness. If you ladies understood the motive behind abuse maybe you could be a better helper to him.
Its not to late to be his helper God has called you to...
You can go to your man and ask forgiveness for your continues rejection of him and ask forgiveness for your dissrespect to him.
Men you need to go to your wife and ask forgiveness for being abusive due to your insecurities and weakness.
If a Husband or wife starts here, their is hope for you. If you need further help just ask me and i would love to do so.
I just thought of the example of Queen Ester. She waited for the right time to submit her thoughts to the King for fear of him. She showed reverence and respect to the King.
If you want to be treated as a queen maybe you need to start treating your husband as the King.
If everyone treated each other the way the Bible instructs, there'd be a lot less problems. If we remembered we were friends before we were married and continued to foster the friendship...not worrying about what our spouse is or is not to do...worry about ourselves and our behavior, there would be less problems.
Romans 12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
It is NOT the husband making the final decision. In contrast to popular belief.
I will explain why.
As in the Garden where Jesus said never the less not my will but your will be done. Praying to the Father......
If their is to be unity in marriage then it HAS to be both the
( Husband & Wife) walking according to Gods will. Sometimes the wife might be in Gods will and some times the husband might be in Gods will concerning their thoughts.
So if it is about the husband making the final decision then he could be leading them outside of Gods will, Right?
This also would break down unity in the Marriage relatioinship.
So how does a (Husban& Wife) have unity in decision makeing?
They seek God together and wait for the Spirit to lead them both in unity. One mind one direction...
Make sense? Is their really any decisions that are so important that we cant wait for Gods leading any way?
So the husband leadership is to see that He walks in Unity with his wife. He does this by leading them in prayer and trusting by faith God will lead them in unity.
This is headship. A husband maintaining unity with his wife. This is submission from his wife. Submitting all of her thoughts and feelings Positive or negitive to her husband. So He can lead her in them before God and show Love to her.
A wife submitting all of her thoughts are a bennifit to the unity of Her relationship with her husband.
This is why.....Because as his helper her thoughts are valuable in their walking in Gods will. And if her thoughts are just crazy emotion with little substance then she gives her husband oppertunity to love her unconditionally.
Isnt that cool? She willl either be a help to him or she will recieve love from him.
Is submission starting to sound pretty good for you ladies, right?
Yes , it should sound very good for you ladies and good for you men also.
What man doesnt want to love his lady?
Everyone wins here. And what happens unity is preserved.
But here is the difficult part. If your not strong and secure men you will not be able to handle this responsibility. Every thing rests on our sholders.
You have to resolve your own issues so as to not react with your wife. That you will not feel attacked. I can help you with this.
I might even give you some practicle help on this thread latter. but enough to digest for today.
There are some nice ideas in this thread. My post is not to be critical of those ideas. However, just because in english we know that the word submit has more than one meaning, doesn't mean we can just give it any many we want. It is not speaking of submitting as in submitting and essay to a professor. That's not the word here so we cannot use it that way just to make the ladies comfortable with the term. Again, though you have some nice ideas in the thread.
This form of submission actually works and builds the relationship. I have proved it out in mine.
Have you proved out how you believe a woman is to submit? I am not asking to be snarky with you but to really know if you found another way that works and to learn from you.
I have a broken break line to attend to today but I will add more the benifits for both the Husband and the wife of my discovery of submission from a wife to her husband.
Remember Grace, there needs to me mutual benifit in everything a married couple does. If they are to maintain unity and oneness.
My goal was not to offer an opinion of what I thought would work the best. I was only interested in what the scripture actually teaches on the matter and less concerned with making it's teaching more palatable to women. I'm also not concerned so much with what benefits both parties because I believe God's way is designed to benefit both parties, whether we can readily see it or not(I think we can see that from scripture). We need to remember that the bible wasn't written in english so we can't just take a word like submit and choose whatever meaning we like the best. The word has an actual meaning and it doesn't mean to express your feelings. I'm not condemning your thoughts on offering up thoughts and feelings as I think that is great. It's just not what the word submit means and I think we should be more focused on that than making women happy with out interpretation. No offense meant
From G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively to obey:�be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
Ok brother, Heres the actual greek Word and its meaning. Wisdom knows how to apply such things.
You must know I have been studying this passage for many years and seeking wisdom of its application.
Right, so you understand that it doesn't mean to submit your thoughts to your husband as a student would submit his/her essay to a professor. That's all I was trying to say. I admitted that there were some good thoughts in the thread.
So we established that a wifes submission is not based on decision making that it is Gods will we have to both follow.
Now in relation to the physical here is what tha bible says.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
As we see here. Paul writes that their is equal rendering of ones body to their spouse. Again this is a seperate issue of the submission wives are called to express in marriage to their husbands.
So we have elimimated through Christs example that our decisions are according to Gods will and that the husband doesnt have the final say.
Its a husbands and wifes submission to God together.....
So we eliminated that it is not the physical relationship where a wife specifically submits.
It is a husband and wife freely without command giving their bodies to oneanother to protect and preserve their marriage.
I will latter show you the beauty of a woman submitting her thoughts to her husband and why it is this and the good it brings to a marriage relationship.
