Author	Thread: rethinking
Admin	rethinking Posted : 4 Oct, 2012 08:36 PM Many women will say that when they get a message that it should say why he chose to write her. Until today I just accepted it without thinking, but am now asking "Why?". Why is it important to know and does it really make a difference when deciding whether or not to go out and get to know each other better over coffee? Is it much better than just saying "I like your profile. Would you like to go out and chat sometime?" Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 5 Oct, 2012 11:06 AM If a woman likes the man Profile, I do not think she would ask why did you contact me. lol She would just want to get to know him, over coffee or whatever. Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 5 Oct, 2012 03:02 PM That's not why women ask that. It's comforting to know a man chose to talk to you because he thinks your walk with God is strong, or had some other interest in you other than.."You're hot." Why is that comforting? Because you can't build a relationship on "You're hot." Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 7 Oct, 2012 08:43 AM So say hypothetically a guy you liked sent you a message like the example I gave. Would you still go out with him for at least 1 date? Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 7 Oct, 2012 09:38 AM If it were addressed to me and I liked talking to him, I would've said yes. It's not offensive, rude or creepy! I usually tend to think first dates should be somewhere public enough, like a crowded theater, or a cafe or restaurant, or a busy park. Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 7 Oct, 2012 08:39 PM So if it was a first message you would aka that's acceptable? I just seek clarification on that point because in your last post you alluded to talking to him prior to that message. What I'm asking in this is if it's an acceptable first message, Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 7 Oct, 2012 10:02 PM Honestly? It depends on what he had in mind by meeting and chatting. I meet people on the street every day, some I actually get to chat with and some I do not. I don't see the difference between meeting someone online in person and having a conversation with them than I would talking with pretty much anyone else. As long as it was a pretty public place I don't think I'd see a problem, but some people are more comfortable or less comfortable with some things than others. It depends a lot on the person too! You, sure! A sixty year old guy with glaring eyes and a gun hanging on the wall behind him in his profile picture, I sort of doubt it! I hope that answered the question. In a nutshell: Sure, definitely would be fine with that as long as it didn't go beyond the bounds of my comfort zone, like in a private place. Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 8 Oct, 2012 09:57 PM Yep got it. Thanks. Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 10 Oct, 2012 08:05 PM Well, I guess that means we're not compatible, MsMarvel. You know, I still had hopes of possibly having a relationship with you...that is, until now. Looks like God answered a question I had about you. You're afraid of meeting and getting to know someone in a private type of setting, so I might as well give up on ever being with you. I'm a rather private individual when it comes to meeting and talking to a young lady that I'm interested in. I just don't feel comfortable or at peace talking to a woman I'm interested in unless we're pretty much alone. I just can't be myself any other way. Don't ask me why, it's just my personality. I'm absolutely fine around a young lady until I'm interested in her (or she's interested in me), and then I get nervous. I know that may sound a little ridiculous, but I'm just being honest. By the way, I think I probably get some of that from my dad. Yes, I get better as time goes on, but it takes a while for me to get comfortable. If only you weren't so afraid of meeting someone in a more private type of setting... Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 10 Oct, 2012 09:07 PM Even if you offered to meet me in Grand Central Station...I wouldn't accept because we are not otherwise compatible. Post Reply
View Profile History	rethinking Posted : 12 Oct, 2012 06:52 PM Well, would you at least explain why I'm not compatible and/or not good enough? The more important question is this: Is it a good enough reason in God's sight? In other words, would it be a good enough reason for divorce in God's sight? If it isn't, then it honestly can't be classified as a "deal breaker" or as something to truly make me "incompatible". Right? Those are the standards that I've tried to live up to for years, so I'm harder on myself than most people realize. That's part of the reason why I did what I did, because I finally reached the point where I knew I had given it everything I had within me...but things still didn't turn out. Needless to say, I finally decided that I wanted out as a result of that, even if it meant I could never be forgiven. Most people would probably call that "stupid", but I call that "fearless"! You just don't realize the thoughts that went through my mind when my previous relationship fell apart, otherwise you would completely understand. I did what I did because I fight for what I believe in...peace and love. At least I can live the rest of my life knowing that I'm not a coward, because I was willing to risk dying (even eternally) for what I believe in. :) You can choose to see the glass half full or half empty. The choice is yours. I can't help it that I was attacked spiritually and didn't know who to turn to for help. Even the pastor talked about me behind my back, so how do you think that made me feel about talking to him and explaining what I was going through? Honestly, I didn't know who to trust anymore. My own mother had gotten right up in my face one day, grabbed me, and started yelling at me and acting like I was wrong for believing God could pull off a miracle...so that pretty much threw a brick right into my faith ability. All I desire is peace and love. In Mark 9:40 Jesus said: "For he who is not against us is on our side." (NKJV) How can I not be good enough if I still desire peace and love? In other words...since I still desire to live the right way, then how can you justify acting like I'm not good enough? :( Nevermind...you're right, we're not compatible. Several years before he died, my grandpa told his grandsons that "you have to find a woman you can reason with". Seems I've forgotten what he said that day. Now that I remember that, it's time for me to say something that I didn't want to have to say to you...goodbye, MsMarvel. I hope you meet a young man who will be loving and faithful to you. :) Post Reply

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