Hello. In the past, there have been specific girls/woman I have liked in my church. The first one was 5 years ago when I first started going to my church. I'll call her "Nicole".
She was 16 and I was 15. We had a nice friendship. Being dumb and immature, she ended up not wanting anything do do with me when my actions made it clear that I liked her. She ended up moving away and we "parted" (she hardly even said bye to me) on bad terms. Only a year an-a-half or two years ago did I contact her and we both seemed fine with each other.
After "Nicole", I met "Janice" a year-an-a-half later in sunday school. I was about to be 17 and she was about to be 16. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen on this earth. "Janice's" family are missionaries to a country close to Russia. She lived their with the family helping to operate the family's church.
She was visiting a few months. We had a great friendship till, once again, years later my actions spoke louder than any words I ever spoke to her that I liked her. I came clear on my feelings way too late, when I knew she didn't like me back. We both agreed to keep our friendship alive.
Now, she's living in the states, engaged to my best friend, and she doesn't talk/open up to me nearly as much as she used to, while I've done everything possible to keep my friendship with her alive. She still does not know how long I liked her, or how I truly felt about her.
Close to the time that "Janice" would move to the states, I met a girl I'll call "Lee" through a church function. It was obvious she liked me, and I like her back. I thought she was amazing, but I was being cautious. Also, at the same time I was waiting for "Janice" to get into the states because I really expected God to move between us. What a waste! Eventually I found out "Janice" wasn't interested in me, and "Lee" got herself engaged to another man.
How much I regret that I didn't pursue "Lee", you will never know.
After that, two more woman came into my life which I'll call "Ann", and "Rae". "Ann" and I are close. One night over the phone I told her I was attracted to her, but she didn't express the same feelings back saying I was "too much of a brother to her". I was ok with this, and to this day, we still talk, get along great, and treat each other as close siblings.
I met "Rae" in sunday school. From the beggining, she couldn't take my wacky sense of humor. She didn't like me so much until I finally confronted her about it over the phone. After the conversation, we became friends.
After I got over "Janice" I crushed on "Rae". This was the biggest mistake of my life. She gave me a huge silent treatment after making it clear she wanted nothing of me. Once again, my actions spoke louder than any words that I ever spoke aloud.
"Ann", my "sister" and "Rae's" friend told me that "Rae" was avoiding me so I would not get any ideas of me and her ending up together. This continued many months after I talked to "Rae" and asked to keep our friendship alive. Many months after my request, I was still told she was avoiding me to keep me from getting my hopes up, even after I told her I didn't like her anymore.
For over half a year We didn't contact each other. Only recently did I write her. She contacted me back for only a bit. It still seems to me that "Rae" wants nothing to do with me.
I am not a freak, over-bearing, barbarrack lunatic. I am just a guy who's made mistakes with lettting his emotions, feelings, and hopes run too wild. My every intention was good, but almost everytime it ended horribly.
It's gotten so bad that anytime I see an attractive woman, in or out of church, I'm afraid to talk/contact them for fear of freaking the woman out.
This site has helped me to come around and start talking again. I have so much love to express, and I'm searching for my future wife.
My only concern is that I'm pushing God aside and not fully trusting Him in this area through signing up on this site.
I've met some wonderful people, and I hope I can have some remarkable friendships with EVERYONE I've met here.
I just still kick myself for past mistakes. I do not wish to make these mistakes again with my one and only.
What can I do to prevent this from happening, and what's wrong with me that it seems most woman aren't attracted to me?
David Stewart
P.S. If you read this whole article, God bless you and I thank you for your time/advice! Be blessed!
Relax, you are young. I am really surprised nobody posted a response but be assured most of us have several times thought he was "the one". Many of us loved more, then what we received back. Some of us would have admitted to staying in a relationship longer when the door has already hit us in the face.
Anyway, you aren't alone in making mistakes and experiencing rejection. I encourage you to take these relationships as learning experiences, gleen what you can, listen to what the girls have shared, there maybe some clues and most important seek GOD and His wisdom. Try not to take the losses personally but more like revelation and timing issues.
Wait on the Lord. Delight yourself in Him, serving Him, enjoying the freedom of singleness to pursue Him.
Please be encouraged and patient knowing GOD's plan is perfect.
Nothing is wrong with you. Everything happens in God's time not ours. Stay strong.God knows what He is doing. You'll be blessed with a wife no worries.
