Author	Thread: money/education again
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 4 Aug, 2010 12:02 PM Ladies, we've talked education and money to death. However-what if you had a job, and you were making it just fine on your own. You are 4-year college educated. You are working and happy in your chosen field. Now you meet a guy. He is working in a job. Just a job, any job. He has no education beyond high school, no training, no trade, no skills, no hope of "advancement" in any conventional sense of the word beyond moving up where he's at: (entry level at whatever job you've chosen.) But he makes more money than you. Significantly more. How if any does this play into your thinking about him? For example: If you won't date someone without 4yrs of college, would you give THIS guy a chance? Do you think that he's just a flash in the pan, and hot right now? Post Reply
View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 4 Aug, 2010 02:23 PM I would never say I won't date a guy with no college degree. I do want someone with some ambition, a dream, a goal or sumtin'! So the money flow from his job isn't as important as his passion for what he's doing. We only have this one life before eternity, we should follow our heart and God given talents and desires. Any money made is OUR money, so how much is made by each is irrelevant. Post Reply
View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 4 Aug, 2010 08:32 PM I agree with BG. I would never consider ONLY men who had a 4-year degree. Is he happy in his job? Then what does it matter? I would prefer someone who had plans for the future. Not that he needs to climb the ladder and advance, but plans on how he can use his skills and what he does to bring the gospel to people and spread some of that $$$ he's making around to those who need it. Post Reply
View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 6 Aug, 2010 07:11 PM Hey ladies, there are some of us that really, really want to know! :) Post Reply
TLSmiles View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 7 Aug, 2010 01:29 PM Agree with what's been said. Education isn't as important as ambition. I understand being comfortable with entry level and a comfortable income and just wanting to stay stable. However, I like to seek growth and improvement, advance my skills so that maybe I could own the company and not just work there. Have a passive income rather than an hourly one. As a result of my personal goals I'd like someone who also shares those interests so that we may build each other up and support one another. I think although I'd be attracted to someone who is stable, I may get fidgetty when a bad economy comes and all the entry-level people are the first to go ... Think of it this way, I want to climb the employment ladder, and you want to stay on the first step. I would want my man next to or in front of me, not below me on the preverbal ladder. In a way I'd feel guilty for wanting to move past entry level because I'd want to stay with my man but I'd also want to move forward. What you're making isn't as important as the reasoning. I think men look at the results, "I make more money," and woman look more at the heart, "He's complacent." However, I can't believe this is a huge issue as you have a job and can support yourself! Many men out there are still struggling to have the stability you have! I wouldn't could this as a huge deal breaker, maybe for other women it is, which I think is unfortunate. Post Reply
View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 7 Aug, 2010 10:08 PM @TLSmiles - Great points! Here's my question to you (or any other woman for that matter - AND NO, I am NOT trying to hijack this thread) as some very good points have been brought up. So here it is; what of the man that HAD the stuff and then it "poof"? Is he less desirable as a mate because he has to start over, so to speak? Is his character now a secondary consideration after his employ-ability and market value? Curious! Post Reply
View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 8 Aug, 2010 04:42 AM CJ, I've recently talked to a guy who was doing just that. The recession slowed the business he was in and at 45, he was back in school. Truthfully, I would have preferred someone stable and established, but it did not stop me from talking 2 him. In fact, I admired his courage 2 pursue a degree and do what he really wanted 2 do. Again, his ambition and drive trumped his money flow. No, that doesn't come 1st above character, but a man's sense of responsibility 4 providing for his family is just as important. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 8 Aug, 2010 12:20 PM I married a man who had no college education while I have a Bachelors. He still made 3 times what I did. However, that wasn't even a deciding factor as to whether I would date him. I think it has more to do with life style. We both preferred what I would call a middle income lifestyle. We both felt uncomfortable around lavish wealth & luxury. Neither of us had a desire to collect possessions and tried to be very frugul with what we had. It was essentual that we agreed on being debt free. Many marriages have torn apart over this issue... Hope you're getting the picture. Most divorces are due to money disagreements, so it's not about how much money you have or who makes most of it, but whether you can agree on how to spend/save it. The other issue for me is that I need a partner that can stimulate me intellectually. I love wit and want a partner that can banter with me in good fun. At the risk of sounding vain, the men who can do that and keep me from getting bored, usually by their own life choices tend to have occupatons resulting in at least upper middle class lifestyles. Hope this makes sense to someone. Rose Post Reply
TLSmiles View Profile History	money/education again Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 08:33 AM @ chmjr1965 Well I agree with everything Rose said, and 1babygirl's point that it's commendable for someone to go back to school and start over. However, I must admit, in the back of my head I would be thinking "that's why you get the degree from the start..." (Unless it's the IT field in which case certifications have 100% more value than a degree.) What I look for in a mate (in the context of this conversation) is security and stability. If this should happen to my man I would support him, I'd have to if I wanted to afford the mortgage, right? lol. ( and hey i'm an actor, I know what it is to be out of work, but that's why I have a backup plan) If you are asking would I start dating someone right now just as everything went poof? No. Simply because, why start a relationship and fall for someone knowing you have something to battle through from the start? Just as I wouldn't date someone terminally ill or someone who is 1 week sober... Does that make sense? Trials and tribulations are already going to befall a relationship, why start out with them? I would try to circumvent the issue altogether by finding someone who makes himself essential to his company and they would refuse to let him go. I can't imagine everything going "poof" if the company truly had a need for him. Should it go poof down the road, I'll be there with open arms. Post Reply