Author	Thread: Biggest reason not to reply?
Admin	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 06:43 PM Hello all, I am curious as to what would be the biggest reason that you wouldn't reply to a guy? (not specifically me, in general) Also, how often do you find that you will send a message or a "wink" (which I fine a tad girlie) and get no reply or even them reading the message? I know it can be from inactive members or people that don't come here often, but you can never really tell when the last time they logged in was.. I think maybe a last login date would be nice so that you don't sit there wondering if they will ever reply at times? Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 06:56 PM The biggest reason that I do not reply to messages is because they are overly-sexual or contain cuss words. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 06:57 PM Oh, and the second part of your question... I don't send winks. I have a good response rate to my messages. Granted, I don't usually initiate messages. I would say that my response rate is about 95%, though. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 07:14 PM Yeah, that first part I completely understand, but any reasons besides that? Like... the message it strange or something. haha Just trying to cover all the bases. Haha Yeah, I think it's easier for girls to get a response than guys. Yeah, when I first started on this site I think I had a response rate of like 1%. Haha. One thing that I started doing to make sure that they are an actual active member is to check their profile and wait till they check mine back before I send a message. I know it's not the most efficient and I know some girls might not even look at the profiles of those that look at theirs, but it helps me to know who is actual online. However, there have been cases where the profile was really interesting and I send a message because I am interested in getting to know them better and even though I often don't get even a message read that way, I know I at least tried. Haha. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 07:24 PM I wouldn't reply to his message if: Like pixy said, he was overly sexual. Or if he was asking for my phone number, or address too soon, or if he was overly pushy in his message. And I don't often send winks or messages first, but I usually get a pretty good response rate when I do. (not that I'm bragging) Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 07:31 PM Well, the other reason would be if I get bombarded with messages and something slips to the second page before I've caught up. That has happened a couple times and the guys have messaged me again asking why I've ignored them... oops. Since I reactivated my account last week, things haven't been too crazy (6-8 messages a day), but there have been times (especially when I first signed up), that I would get double that in a day. Today, I had 8 messages all come in within like an hour of each other, and I just kind of stared at my inbox in horror and let things sit there for a bit. I say "horror" because I struggle with how to respond to some of my messages. I mean, I guess it's safe to assume that any guy who messages me is romantically interested, but when the message just comes off as friendly, I don't know if I should be friends, or if that would just encourage him too much? I've made the mistake of trying to be friends with pretty much anyone who messaged me, and then I would get SO many messages a day that I couldn't even keep the guys straight. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 07:45 PM Good point Pixy. I think guys, at least some of the good ones, including myself, sometimes send messages trying to be kind but not overly assertive. We don't want to scare you away, but at the same time we want to get know you before we kinda throw it completely out there that we want the relationship to go further. I guess sometimes messages come out the wrong way in an attempt to be balanced. For me, I usually don't send a message unless I think that the relationship might actually go beyond a friendship, but a few other times I have send a messages just because I want to get to know them and maybe see where it might go, but I don't want to necessarily depend on that relationship going anywhere when I don't know what type of person they are so I sometimes try in those to be as friendly as possible, but show some interest so I at least get a reply. Other times though, I act of fool and stumble about what I put in the message thinking it was a good message and go back to reread what I sent and ask myself "What was I thinking?!?!". I know I have missed a few replies that way. Haha, I guess that's just how it goes sometimes. Haha. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 08:23 PM ND, on the profiles, you can check out someone without them knowing, so that's not a really good way of knowing if they are active or not. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 08:38 PM Haha, yeah Catty, I did mention that that way was not the best and I also stated that if I really liked their profile that I would send a message anyways. I was only expressing a way that was working for me. haha. It's not perfect though, but I think it's better than sending a dozen random messages and wondering if I get a reply or having my interest split between two girls. (Which is the last thing that I want to have to put any girl through.) I mean life is tough enough without having to deal with the disappointment of a guy that you liked be taken by another girl, especially since I know that girls can get just a jealous as guys and tend to harbor more of not letting go. I try to avoid these issues by doing things like that. My goal is to met someone and NOT hurt anyone in the process. If I can do that by being patient and waiting a few days to get a reply from a message than so be it. I am in no hurry and if I can help any girl avoid any hurt or bagage for any relationship that I would gladly put the things aside that I want. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 08:52 PM Sorry, must have skipped a line or two. Post Reply
View Profile History	Biggest reason not to reply? Posted : 31 Mar, 2011 08:58 PM Catty, it's all good. Just a simple mistake, no worries. :) Post Reply

First

Page : 1 2 3

Next  10 >>

Last