Author	Thread: at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment
Admin	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 2 Feb, 2010 05:56 AM This question is for my daughter. She is 21 and just ended a three year relationship. She is now raising a son as a single parent. She is a beautiful young woman and truly wants to live her life for the Lord. But, she does not want to raise him alone. Her ex is 24 and has no desire to settle into family life. He says he is too young to settle down and just wants to have fun. At this point, my daughter won't consider going out with anyone who isn't at least in their late 20's. I don't blame her. But, I would like to know everone's opinion here. At what age are men mature enough to make a commitment? Post Reply
View Profile History	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 10 Feb, 2010 01:26 AM Cattle.... Forgive me.. Let me change that to "probably most men".... as opposed to 'any'. And I will stick by that for now simply due to it being the reality as discussed by most men these days in their own circles. Unfortunately, I hear it all the time. A LOT Personally, myself....I've never considered another's kids as 'baggage' or something bad either. As I think I mentioned in the post.... most women believe that a man doesn't want to date her BECAUSE she has kids.... but I think I also stated that the kids are not the problem. Many times it is the attitude of the mother. As you may no Cattle, I did spend a bit of time in the secular dating sites before, thank God, finding this one. And during my time in the sites.... there is a HUGE commonality amongst the women, both in their character traits and where their attentions are really focused. And the primary focus is on "the kids"...... While I understand that children are a blessing.. the biggest mistake that has been going on is the propensity for women to have made their children their 'surrogate mates'. This can be especially exacerbated when relations between her and the man are starting to have problems. I can tell you that the proverbial "kiss of death" for any woman who has a profile on a dating site is to put the words...."my kids are my world". Because to any man who reads that, he is of the possible understanding that there just might be an "ex husband" somewhere who had unfortunately already found that out the hard way. So the best thing for a woman to do, is either possibly look inside and see if she's been making that mistake.....did it, in fact, potentially cause rifts in the original situation she left before looking for another man..... OR.... should she just be coy about it and not put it in her profile....LOL I am in FULL agreement that there are a lot of men who WILL want to step up to the plate. Any woman who is asking for a man to "ACCEPT THE ENTIRE PACKAGE" needs to also understand though that any man willing to do that is asking that he be included as PART of that entire package.....and not separate from it.... I hope that clears it up... Post Reply
View Profile History	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 10 Feb, 2010 01:45 AM T.... Thank you for clearing that up and sharing that. I think that was one of the most unselfish and loving things you could have ever done in your life. I think you'll be rewarded richly. Unfortunately, it's those with the biggest hearts who suffer the most pain from their unselfish love. Who knows why some people can never see the gifts bestowed upon them. I stopped trying to figure it all out. I can say that it took me a couple of years to stop missing the two boys I raised as well. Most nights were spent just asking God to take away that pain of separation from them. I know they were on my mind far longer after the relationship ended than their mother. Again... thanks..... and I'll pray that God bring that one you desire really soon... peace, K Post Reply
View Profile History	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 10 Feb, 2010 09:32 AM Thank you both, Cattle and K! I appreciate your kind words very much! :) With love, T Post Reply
View Profile History	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 10 Feb, 2010 12:00 PM dear piano, cool,, i can agree with ya there.. children are a blessing.. sometimes its all in the attitude of the mother like you say .. if i see the words my kids come first.. then i will back up and take a closer look too.. as i am of the belief that the LORD comes first, then the spouse ,then the children, then family, then friends, then coworkers, strangers or aquaintances.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	at what age are men mature enough to make a commitment Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 11:33 AM It depends on the man. When my older brother was 16 he met "Ann" and fell in love with her. After a few months they were talking marriage. They both knew that her parents, as well as our mother and father, would never consent to them getting married so young. This went on for about a year. Then they got an idea which would force them to allow them to get married. So, in December of 1982 Ann found out that she was pregnant. They were married in January of 1983. Last month, two children and a lot of ups and downs later, they celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary. At 17, my brother was mature enough to make a commitment. Post Reply

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