Author	Thread: Is there a right time to talk about sex?
IamIsabel View Profile History	Is there a right time to talk about sex? Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 07:30 PM Leave it to me to ask this question publicly! I am sure there will be a wide range of differences here. I'll be the sacrifical lamb and go first since I started this thing. :prayingf: I personally believe couples thinking of wedding should talk about sex. However I think it should be carefully considered and perhaps close to their wedding date and maybe a semi public place. lol! I also believe that details should be left out. For the nay sayers I want to just throw this out there. Just imagine two people on the extreme opposites of the spectrum getting married not knowing what they are getting into. I have more opionions but let's see if I get stones thrown at me before moving forward. Post Reply
GoodMorning View Profile History	Is there a right time to talk about sex? Posted : 8 Oct, 2013 06:35 PM The lady who said that a couple will probably gain a lot of understanding the other's sexual attitudes just through kissing and hugging is correct. That, in my opinion, is probably the best gauge of how compatible they will be sexually. Even better than talking. Here is why. A person who enjoys those aspects of affection will likely also be open and desirous of a healthy and frequent sex life. The person who tends to avoid much in the way of affection while dating will NOT suddenly become a very sexual being after marriage. This is why this fact is SO IMPORTANT. Before my marriage, I was concerned that I enjoyed affection so much more than my girlfriend (who became my fiancee). We talked about it and she assured me that it was because she wanted to hold back until after we were married. Good Christian girl, right? She was telling me the truth, right? The problem became that after we married, it was made clear that, to HER, a few kisses a week and sex once was a month WAS frequent. Turns our her mother had been the same kind of wife to my wife's father. Then there is also the other aspect being that some people may want to marry you for an ulterior motive. They may tell you that, once you're married, the sex will be great. But once they have you, then you are at their mercy. So, the point is, DO NOT TRUST WHAT SOMEONE SAYS AS MUCH AS THE ACTUAL INDICATORS OF WHAT THEY DO. Post Reply
JoJoUK View Profile History	Is there a right time to talk about sex? Posted : 6 Nov, 2013 05:21 PM I'm astonished at how 'innocent' everyone is in this discussion... and how trusting that 'everything will be all right' if you get married without knowing in advance about each other's sex drives, fantasies etc. if you read the Song of Solomon, in the Bible, it's clear that they couple are engaging in very intimate foreplay BEFORE they get married. Read the following verses... 1:1 (French kissing) ... 1:12 (resting his head on her bosom) ... 1:16,17 (making love outdoors) ... 2:3 (oral sex) ... 2:6 (intimate body petting) ... 2:16 (genital petting) ... 2:17 (petting her bosom) ... 4:5,6 (petting her bosom) ... 4:16 (the wedding night). This is not a prudish book. It's an erotic love song. Why? Because God made erotic love and sex. And it's clear that they already know each other very well - intimately - BEFORE they get married. Yes, they may have reserved intercourse for the wedding night, but they did pretty well everything else before that! The Bible is far less prudish about sex than a lot of people think. God made the darned thing after all, and He understands that a couple need to know each other very well - in every way - BEFORE they get married! Come on guys... get a grip! Post Reply
JoJoUK View Profile History	Is there a right time to talk about sex? Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 03:24 PM P.S. Of course, I'm not saying that couples should be getting highly intimate the very first time they meet - or the second time - or the third time - or, whenever! The Song of Solomon seems to be about a couple a few days before and after their wedding night. So they've probably known each other a long time already. The level of their physical intimacy at this time, reflects the levels they've also achieved in their spiritual and emotional intimacy. Each couple is different, and no-one can proscribe what should and shouldn't happen in any one relationship. But it does make sense for growth in physical intimacy to follow after growth in emotional and spiritual intimacy. Many Christian writers say that growth in spiritual and emotional intimacy should be happening well before growth in physical intimacy. But we live in the real world, do we not, and when passions are ignited it usually becomes impossible to put the genie back in the bottle. So couples should work hard improving their spiritual life, and their emotional life, and trust God to help them get the physical life right too, without trying to be celibate monks and nuns! So... is there a right time to talk about sex? Yes... whenever it comes up naturally in conversation. What else! Post Reply

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