I was having my morning coffee this morning and a concept occurred to me, but first a little back story.
Earlier this morning I was in facebook, and my sister IM'd me. She had seen a post about my unborn baby. Long story short, and this is not all of it, but alot of it is personal and I am only sharing what is PERTINENT to this post. She asked me to come back to my home town. I told her I would not do so, and she told me that I needed to reconcile with my family.
I was sexually abused when I was a kid by my adoptive father. I eventually came forward and as often the case goes with this type of situation, it was swept under the rug. I left my home city at the age of 19 and never looked back.
She asked me this morning why I refused to come home and bring the baby with me and I told her because of what happened with dad and I would not bring my child around that kind of situation. She replied that she would not listen to that, that her dad had never done anything like that, that I was crazy and lying and had made it all up. Now this in and of itself is not the issue, as I realize that this is how they think and react to this and has always been the reaction.
The ISSUE came up when she told me that she "lets her children be there alone with him all the time."
This greatly distrubed me. The thought crossed my mind..."great, I come forward, tell everyone what he did, he even ADMITTED it to my mother, they hide it, deny it, HE GETS AWAY WITH IT, then my sister who has been TOLD that this happened is now putting her children in an unsupervised situation with this guy. The thought crossed my mind, that if he has been found out that this happened, ADMITTED IT WITH HIS OWN MOUTH, and they hid it for him and he got away with it, what is to stop him from taking that situation as "well I can do it again because I wont get caught and even if I do they will just say it never happened and hide it for me".
Very terrifying thought. Worse yet, I realized, OH NO, my sisters are IGNORING this, my family is ignoring it, and these children, their kids, are being left UNPROTECTED by their MOTHERS and FAMILY. Legally no action can be taken due to a "statue of limitations" about what happened with me. I had asked a lawyer and the lawyer said they could not take a legal action due to that. So, the law can not protect these kids because they can not take action for something that happened so long ago, AND ON TOP OF IT, now my family and these children's mothers are NOT protecting them either.
WHO is left to protect these kids?!
So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I got in prayer request and I briefly explained that there was a situation and I was afraid that NO ONE was protecting these children and I wanted everyone to pray because if the HUMANS in these kid's lives refused to listen or acknowledge a problem or take action to protect them, who else was left to protect them but God?
The room did pray thank God. But I was also told by those in chat, to "forget about it and focus on how good Jesus is."
THIS is why I am posting. Now I am a Christian and I get that Jesus is good. But WHEN DID IT BECOME OK TO SMILE AT THE MENTION OF A SERIOUS PROBLEM LIKE CHILD ABUSE AND SAY, OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT JESUS WILL TAKE CARE OF IT?
When did we as a human race, turn prayer into an EXCUSE to ignore the ugliness of our world, NOT take ACTION against it, and "put it all on god?"
When did we decide that we could look the other way and not do something about the bad in life, because "jesus will take care of it?' When did we decide to hide our responsibility to actually take a role in making the world a better place behind our faith?
How would you feel if you walked down the street today, and got hit by a car, needed an ambulence and were lying there bleeding to death. Two people walk by and you ask them to help you. To call someone. And they look at each other and say, "dont worry dear, we prayed, and jesus will take care of you" and smile and walk away?
Hi Theophannia:waving:...and WELCOME TO THE FORUM!
I read your post, and I musts ay that I empathize with you and what must be painful still regardless how long these awful things happen in your life.
While reading your post, I became somewhat confused by a few things of said such as, "my sister IM'd me. She had seen a post about my unborn baby." Then you went on to say, "She asked me this morning why I refused to come home and bring the baby with me and I told her because of what happened with dad and I would not bring my child around that kind of situation."
I suppose what confused me and I'm sure you can calrify for muy understanding is, that you state that your sister saw a post
Sorry, but this thing posted before I could finish what I was saying...:rolleyes:.. si here goes again...
Hi Theophannia...and WELCOME TO THE FORUM!
I read your post, and I musts ay that I empathize with you and what must be painful still regardless how long these awful things happen in your life.
While reading your post, I became somewhat confused by a few things you said such as, "my sister IM'd me. She had seen a post about my unborn baby." Then you went on to say, "She asked me this morning why I refused to come home and bring the baby with me and I told her because of what happened with dad and I would not bring my child around that kind of situation."
I suppose what confused me and I'm sure you can clarify for my understanding is, that you state that your sister saw a post about YOUR UNBORN BABY, then you stated that you refused to bring the bay with me to see the family... and you didn't want your child around that kind of situation...
So, is your baby "unborn", or have you already had the child... this is what cnfused me...
Nevertheless, please know that there is nothing too hard for God. It doesn't matter how you may feel inside or what you think, the most important thing you should know is that God is on your side, and when you place your trust in Him, He has promised to vindicate us of all those who have casued us pain and hurts especially, during the innocence of our childhoods years.
Your responsibility to YOURSELF is to do as He has ehorted and commanded us to do, and that is to FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE SINNERED AGAINST US, just as we also desires God to gorgive us of our sins aginst HIm. Otherwise, if you don't forgive the man hwo cause you pain and took your childhood away from you, now that you are of age to know forgiveness, God will not foegive you of your sins that you have committed since you have become of age to know the right things to do.
It is also important that your sister understands that, the decision for reconcilation, is when YOU MAKE THIS CHOICE, becasue it was YOu who was violated, not your sister. Therefore, when you have reconciled yourself with God and know in your heart taht you have indeed forgiven, and that seeing this person no longer causes you pain, THNE this is the proper time for you to do whatever it is God so leads you to do to reconcile with your family, even if they don't belive your were molested, only you, God and the person you claimed to have done this awful deed to you, knows for sure, and God knows the whole truth and nothing but the truth without error of the matter.
Therefore, I say to you, yes, the scirpture passage you posted of the good Samaritan, wh helped the man who had fallen among thieves, can be one for yourunderstanding and application. There is HELP FOR YOU AND THERE ARE THOSE WHO WILL ASSIST AND LEAD YOU INTO ALL POINTS OF first reconcilation with yourself, and accpetance, before you are able to come into this with those who you say after all these years do not believe you.
Please seek counseling with professionals and they will give you recourses and phone numbers to make contacts in your area.
PAAR | Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
www.paar.net/35/adult-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-abuse -NOTICE: If you or someone you love is still suffering from the effects of sexual abuse, we can help. ... PAAR offers free counseling to adult victims of childhood sexual abuse.
Maybe the blessings of God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ rest, rule and abide in your heart, and bring deliverance in you life.
One last point I owuld liketo make. You state: When did we as a human race, turn prayer into an EXCUSE to ignore the ugliness of our world, NOT take ACTION against it, and "put it all on god?" When did we decide that we could look the other way and not do something about the bad in life, because "jesus will take care of it?' When did we decide to hide our responsibility to actually take a role in making the world a better place behind our faith?
My question to YOU is what actions are you, or have you taken as it pertains to your own health and well being to set yourself free from the pain of what happened to you?
Also, YOU have a resoinsibility to YOURSELF and take a role BY FAITH TO TRUST GOD THAT SEEK THE NEEDED HELP YOU NEED to make YOUR life within YOU a better place for lving and for your child. Even when others DO NOT act on our behalf, IT IS STILL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE ACTION TOWARD YOUR OWN HEALING PROCESS AND RECOVERY!
PLEASE SEEK THE NEED HELP! So that you can moe on in your life and accomplish those things God so desires for you.
BE ENCOURAGED and don't give satan anymore advantage than what he has already robbed, and stolen for you in your chldhood life and is seeking to destory your adult life, unless YOU TAKE ACTION TO STOP THE PAIN THORUGH PROPER COUNSELING BY PROFESSIONALS!
BTW, turning your sister in to CPS is not the answer to your pain, but you should report what it is that you know about a POSSIBLE child molester amongs children, THIS IS YOUR RESONSIBILITY! and YOU NOT TURN and LOOK THE OTHER WAY!
In response, she saw a post on facebook about how I would be finding out in 2 weeks if the baby was male or female. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant. She knew that me and my husband are separated and divorcing and she wanted me to come back to my home town to live and have the baby and stay and I told her no that I had a place to go and that I already had that all taken care of.
My issue is not my past, in the last four years you would be amazed at the healing the Lord has brought me through. My issue is not unforgiveness. You can forgive someone and still not accept what they do wrong. I have forgiven. The thing is say for instance someone comes into your house to visit, and EVERY time they show up jewelry or money comes up missing, and this only happens when that particular person visits. Yes you can forgive them for what they did, but does that mean that you let them into your house again and again on the assumption that because you forgave them they wont steal anything this time?
My issue is whether or not I forgave my father, me forgiving him does not mean that because I forgave him he is now miraculously not capable of repeating the sin with my sisters children.
I did not want this forum to turn the focus onto my healing. When I walked out of my fathers house I did seek help, both professional therapy and later, I turned my healing over to God and the Holy Spirit worked extensively with me for the next 4 years, almost constantly. The Lord pretty much stepped in and led the healing process for me, and in time He brought me not just past the pain but into forgiveness and now I am happy to say that thanks to God stepping and and being "dad" and "healer" and "teacher" and all the roles He became for me during that process, I am in a much better position in life.
What I am saying is that this is false logic as follows
I accepted what happened to me, I healed from what happened to me, I forgave the person who hurt me, so that means that now, the person that hurt me can not ever hurt another child"
Not true. My healng and forgiveness affected my life. It does not put a magic shield around my sisters kids that now he cant hurt them cause I forgave him when he hurt me.
The point of the thread was that when I went to prayer room to ask for people to back me up in prayer that GOD would protect my sister's children, they told me to NOT WORRY ABOUT MY SISTERS KIDS AND FOCUS ON HOW GOOD JESUS IS
And that was what disturbed me, the CHRISTIAN attitude that:
IF you know god is good then you should not care if bad happens to others in the world
I felt like I was being told
"You should not care if your sisters kids get hurt or not, you should pray and not think about their safety instead you should think about how good god is, you should not worry about others you should only worry about yourself."
THIS is what upset me, that Christians could have the mind set that faith is equal to a blind belief that other people's hurts or situations dont matter cause "God is good"
Thanks Theo for making things much clearer. Now I understand what you speaking about.
When you forgive, from your heart and God brings the healing, Yes, what it means that the person can no longer hurt you anymore, and there is NO MORE PAIN even in the presence of that person.
And No, it does not mean that you must continue to trust that person in your life, even God told David to remember what his enemies did to him, but to be kind and nice toward your enemies, and not to do eveil for evil, but to do good toward your enemies if he/she is in need as God tells us in Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God�s wrath, for it is written: �It is mine to avenge; I will repay,� says the Lord. On the contrary: �If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.� Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
And YES, God will take care of the person who caused you pain, and since you say your claims against your dad are true then as I said, IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to do something about seeing to it that this is not happening to the chilrdenr in your family by sharing what you know with professional counselors who are BY LAW as WE ALL ARE RESPONSIBLE TO REPORT CHLD ABUSE, WE ARE TO REPORT SUSPECTED CHILD ABOUSE, AND WE ARE TO REPORT THOSE WHO ARE KNOWN CHILD ABUSERS. Not onyl does the law of out land require this, but God also requires us to do the right things when we know the truth of a matter.
God is not going to handle anything if YOU FIRST DON'T DO WHAT IT IS YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO DO that you know is the right thing. You can't expect others OR GOD to be in your corner if YOU YOURSELF HAVE NOT DONE WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO DO... and that is to make a report of this man that you charge as having abused YOU.
If YOU are not doing this, then what is it that you expect others to do? Agreeing with you does not settle the matter NOR DOES IT HELP OTHER CHILDREN you say this man is in close contact with... it only means you are sitting back and LOOKING ON, doing AS YOU CHARGE THAT OTHERS AS DOING.
Therefore my question to you is, WHAT HAVE YOU OR WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE SURE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ANOTHER CHILD IN YOUR FAMILY OR ANYWHERE ELSE THIS MAN MIGHT CME IN CONTACT WITH? Its starts with YOU, since you say you know the truth of what he did to you.
PRAISE GOD!!! for your healing and deliverance! And I pray that you will continue to heal and be delivered, and that the PEACE OF GOD will always be with you, and that THE GOD OF PEACE will grant you His PERFECT PEACE that surpasses all HUMAN UNDERSTANDING to guard and protect your heart and mind IN ALL THINGS.:glow::angel::hearts::peace:
