�for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. �
(James 1:20 NKJV)
My father used to tell me that nobody ever wins an argument. His point was that the moment anger or passion takes hold of a conversation, everything said after that is just destructive. I believe I have proved his point on several occasions to the detriment of others and the embarrassment of myself, since receiving his advice. Anger in a conversation would rather take truth as a sword to destroy someone rather than an instrument of precise pruning. We might trim a hedge by cutting it down, but that would kill it.
For a Christian, truth coupled with anger is a sin. We think we are to go, and that we should, set that person straight. Most often we care not for someone until we care to rip them to shreds with the truth. Truth is precise and razor sharp, so great care and love must be coupled with truth in order to administer it properly. God is Truth�God is Love. Both. Not one or the other, but both at the same time.
This is what should be defining Christianity�
Here�s Manton on this:
Christianity, of all religions, is the meekest and most humble. It is founded upon the blood of Christ, who is a Lamb slain. It is consigned and sealed by the Spirit of Christ, who descended like a dove. Both are emblems of a meek and modest humility. And should a meek religion be defended by our violences, and the God of peace served with wrathful affections, and the madness of an evil nature bewray itself in the best cause? Christ�s warfare needeth not such carnal weapons; as Achish said, �Have I need of mad men?� 1 Sam. 21:15. So, hath Jesus Christ need of our passions and furies? Doth the God of heaven need a tongue set on fire of hell? James 3:6.
2. There are rules to arguments such as formal and informal fallacies.
3. Disputes using informal fallacies (IE name calling, lying, generalizations) are what your father was referring to.
4. Your father was correct as it has been written not to enter into discourse with a fool.
5. Proverbs 26:4-14... 4 When arguing with fools, don't answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are. (New Living Translation)
In Christ we have the fruit of meekness. James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom" Colossians 3:12
[ Character of the New Man ] "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering." 1 Peter 3:15."always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear..." Galatians 6:1" Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness
God would have us to be an influence and persuade people to know Him but in a loving way, with meekness, gentleness, and humbleness. LOVE is the motivation!
The scriptures are very clear about what our attitude should be to guide us in any given situation. In avoiding arguments or averting them our choice comes down to self control, a fruit of the Spirit. I rather give myself these words of Sprit given advice, "Give up the right to be right" and the benchmark scripture that speaks to me most is Phil. 2, verses 1-5 (NIV):
1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
