My Personal Testimony

Posted : 22 Sep, 2011 11:45 PM

I was raised in church since I can remember and was saved when I was eight years old. A month before I was saved, I was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth, which is a form of neuro-muscular dystrophy. I really struggled with my disability. I would often come home crying because the kids at school would laugh, point fingers, and make fun of me. As a child, I always had a love for music. I had a strong desire to learn how to play piano. Despite the fact I should not be able to play due to my disability, my parents bought me one for my tenth birthday.



My sophomore through senior year of highschool, I was homeschooled. Since I was not in a public or private school, I spent a lot of my time practicing playing the piano. I competed in State Festival where I scored excellent my sophomore year and excellent my junior and senior year. I also competed in Guild my junior year and received National level. Despite my success in playing piano, I struggled with very low self-esteem. I did not really have any friends my age. I attended Sunday School at my church, but I did not really feel connected with the girls in my class since I did not go to school with them. I felt so alone and thought no one cared. There was one night I tried to commit suicide by over dosing on pain medication. The pills just made my heartbeat feel like it was speeding up and it was hard for me to breathe. It scared me so much that I did not try to kill myself again.



After highschool, I still struggled with low self-esteem and started to drift away from church. I would let guys use me because I felt that was the only way any guy would want me since I had a disability. There was one guy I dated on and off for over a year and he really abused me both emotionally and mentally. He made me think so negative towards myself that I would hear voices in my head telling me that I was worthless and should just kill myself.



I would go to church every now and then, but it seemed like every time I started getting in the habit of going, something bad would happen. After my mom's best friend died from fighting brain cancer, I did not want anything to do with God. Ms. Donna was like a second mom to me and I was extremely angry God took her away.



After having a hardened heart for over a year, I injured my right ankle really bad. I could hardly walk and was in a wheelchair most of the time. I needed to have surgery, but I could not find a good enough doctor that would perform the surgery with the type of insurance I was on. I started going back to the church I grew up in, but I still did not feel like I fit in.



One day, I happened to be watching television and saw that Jim Caviezel was going to be speaking at a church not too far from where I lived. My parents and I went that Sunday and I absolutly fell in love with the church. A few weeks after attending I rededicated my life back to Christ and a couple months later I got rebaptized.



After I started going to Free Chapel, everything started to fall into place. I found two doctors willing to take my case and do the surgery. I had the first surgery last December and the second one last June. I still have two more surgeries to go, but thanks to God, I am starting to walk better than I ever have before.

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