Author	Thread: Lost art?
thatjennygirl View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 1 Aug, 2009 09:53 PM Have men forgotten the art of pursuing a woman? Or is it just that us ladies have become so bold in our own pursuits over the years that men have become used to us taking the reigns? Or a combination of both? Would love to hear the men's perspective on this! Peace, Jenny Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 08:17 PM Maybe that series should have been called "Love comes hardly", lol. Well, I wish you luck finding your pursuer. But you might find out that he gonna be kinda arrogant, especially if his old-fashionedness survived this long. Meanwhile, I'll just go over here in the corner and cry like the passive, impotent, insecure, irresponsible, fearful, weak, broken man that I am:rolleyes::goofball::laugh: I mean come on! There's only so many insults a guy can take! Wait...forgot...I'm impotent...hit me again.:nahnah: :peace::peace: Post Reply
thatjennygirl View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 09:04 PM I wasn't speaking of you personally, I was speaking in general terms. Anyways, God bless you in your search! Just remember that no lady will make you whole, happy, or fulfilled if you are not whole, happy, and fulfilled without one. Post Reply
View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 11:19 PM dear hitman,,, id say not arrogance but yet confidence and knowin what one wants... just go for it.. and ya got good odds as its at least 50 50 .. and if they turn you down ,dont take it personal even if ya get bruised up a little.. its really not personal.. remember that little thing we have been talkin about called preference.. thats all it is.. think about what the odds are, against you, if you just sit back and dont do anything.. ole cattle Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 3 Aug, 2009 07:49 AM I know, but I also know quite a few good, godly women that have been "pursued" and the kind of guys that did it got rejected more then once, and then called a chauvinist...because they were(I know not all pursuers are). They wanted to be married to a good little slave:devil:. It's hard to find a old-fashioned guy, just like it's hard to find a old-fashioned girl, let alone a good one:angel:. So I'll just look for a regular "good" girl instead(my preference:goofball:). But just because a guy isn't a "pursuer"(meaning if a girl says "no", I say "ok, your choice") doesn't mean that I'm broken. God doesn't force His love on me, and I'm not going to force mine on anyone either. I don't want to play that game. Love shouldn't be a game. And Cattle...when I find someone I'm attracted to:excited:, I do walk up and talk to her, and I do send emails(more then one sometimes...yeah I know!). The first thing I look for in a girl is how nice she is. But if she doesn't return my email, that tells me that not only does she think I'm not her type(her preference, and I'm ok with that), but I'm also not even worthy of 5 seconds out of her day for a simple "no thank you" in her eyes:boxing:(not preference...that's just mean:goofball:). That's what makes me feel like I just had my head chopped off. Maybe I just shouldn't think about that...but it's hard not too, and I don't know about anyone else...but I have a hard time staying attracted to a girl that thinks I'm beneath her. So it usually only goes to one email. There was one girl I sent 5 too...but she didn't read them or view my profile...so I guess that means she not active on here anymore....just my luck...*sigh* Anyway...this is for godlymom2. Sorry, but I know how many profiles I view...so I don't look at profile views as interest, just like I wouldn't if a girl looks at me walking down the street...and it's hard to remember who I've already sent emails to, lol...so if someone thinks I've missed them, go ahead and email me. Doesn't bother me. All I'm looking for right now is nice people, and good conversation. And if it moves farther then that, that'd be good also:winksmile:. :peace::peace: Post Reply
thatjennygirl View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 3 Aug, 2009 12:30 PM Well said Ole Cattle! You made the point I was trying to make using many words, in only a few. You are very wise. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 3 Aug, 2009 11:29 PM i like your comment of being pursued by winning over with a point in a second message. So tonight, i encourage men to stick their necks out and do just that. I think the act has been reduced because there are so much more available... we are a more mobile society via transportation, on-line, communication and so forth. Our "world" has expanded to include choices in mates. It was much easier for women when there were no opportunities to decide to be a teacher, nurse or mother... not better or fulfilling, just... Post Reply
View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 4 Aug, 2009 07:00 AM dear folks,,, dear jenny , thank you for your kind words.. made an ole mans day ... smile and dear hitman, man you got a great personality.. but i wouldnt be too tight on folks who dont reply to ya.. as you may not realize just how many emails they may be gettin.. or maybe they started out writin back and acknowledged folks and then as you know give a man an inch and he will take a mile sometimes.. maybe theyve been worried to death when they didnt wanna be and just figure its easier not to say anything.. so just keep knockin on doors till someone finally lets you in.. then make the very best of the opportunity.. ole cattle Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 4 Aug, 2009 09:11 AM Thanks cattle...I appreciate the compliment. But I'm just of the mindset that the girl God wants me to be with will respond to the first "knock". I guess I just think that if a girl doesn't like me the first time around and isn't willing to give me a chance...then I'm not going to fight with her. I'd hope that the girl I fall in love with will know what she wants the first time, or would at least be nice enough to give me a chance. It just seems like the "lost art" is a game...one that hardly anyone plays anymore...including me. Maybe everyone should just be "nice". I will send emails to girls. That's me showing interest first. But I just have a hard time kicking a dead horse(not a good metaphor but you know what I mean, lol). I'm talking about "online" by the way...I'll play the "old-fashioned" game in real life...to a point...pursuing a girl playing hard to get is one thing...pursuing a girl after she says "no"...in my opinion...isn't right. And to me...online...a person ignoring your email is a "no". Post Reply
View Profile History	Lost art? Posted : 4 Aug, 2009 06:13 PM I feel the same way about it Mark. As forthe internet, as previously mentioned, it doesn't take a whole lot of effort to send an email, it is not that hard, atleast from my perspective. But to add to the point you made, if it is not that hard for me to send an email, it shouldn't be that hard for someone to send back a reply either. If I just send a simple hello, how are you, and I ask along with that about the girl's interest, are what she plans on doing with those interest in the future, where she thinks god is leading her or whatever, then I would expect if she shows any interest in me or what I said, that she would kindly reply back. How much effort does it take to answer some simple question. I also hold the view as you pointed out, being behind a computer screen and being face to face with someone will give a whole different data set of information. Online, you only have what someone tells you. But, in real life, the majority of our conversation is not stated in words, but with body language. When you are talking to someone face to face you can tell if they are paying attention, if they care or show interest in what you are saying, if their eyes brighten up when you get interested in what they are interested in, and a whole bunch of other things. So much is played out on the faces of individuals. So, much emphasis is placed on first impressions, atleast I feel that way. I mean, as you said, you can tell if a girl is interested if they get into conversation or if you can't find anything to talk about that is a bad sign, and you know it is just not going anywhere. Being online takes that information away from you so you are kinda, left out in the dark as to what the other person thinks in my opinion. Post Reply

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