I just want to know if men are put off or intimidated by a strong, confident, independent (though very dependent on God) kind of woman.
I believe God's Word that the wife should submit to her husband and that he should be the head of the household. However, I've never been married, so having been a single mom for the past __years ( :>), I've become quite strong and "independent" and had to be the earthly head of my house (even though God has been the true head of my household).
Some people have told me that my strength and confidence can be intimidating to some men. What do you say?
I don't think independence/confidence bothers me any - in fact, I think I like that. If I'm not around, she's alright on her own, y'know? Plus, I think confidence is important - if she's unconfident, then that can wind up causing her to find a false confidence in me, instead of being confident in Christ.
On the other hand, deep down in one way it's unnerving - would she leave me down the road because she's been by herself before - so when things get rough (and let's face it, in marriage, things WILL get rough), does her past independence make her more prone to just cut loose and be on her own again?
Overall, no, I don't think it's a bad or intimidating thing.
I think the only men that would be intimidated are those that have insecurities in there own lives. I think independence is a great quality. It shows that you can handle a variety of situations and can resolve situations on your own. Men who have problems with women being independent or being successful (i.e. having a productive career/college education or whatever) are those that have a superiority complex and need to really evaluate where God stands in their lives. The important thing to know is pride needs to go out of the window in a relationship, just as pride needs to go out of the window in your personal relationship with god. We must all be meek and humble and not have an ego trip for things to be successful and productive. I hope that helps, God Bless.
It's just who you are. Who you have become through your life experiences. What we make, or the world makes of us, God can unmake if need be. Just be ready to let a little of it go if need be. It's not all about you, it's about both of you, and God. Don't focus so much on your own character, as much as you are willing to focus on your man and your God and you'll be fine.
Praise the LORD JESUS CHRIST and peace be unto you my dear sister. To answer your question,
Without having any superiority issues or anything of that nature, by the grace of GOD, having been nutured and brought up by the WORD of GOD and not man's worldly ideals, I truly love and value a woman who is (as GOD'S WORD honors (I Pet Chp 3)) of a meek and quiet spirit.
Their has to be that distinction in a relationship, of who is the man and who is the woman. It must be made obvious. Many man is this soiciety have taken on the role of the woman and vice versa while in a marriage.
A woman who walks in this indepentdent spirit from my experience usually acts as if she can take the relationship or leave it. The relationship seems to loose value.
I've heard more than one say, what do they even need a man for.
I believe it lends to a High Divore rate, much sexual imorality (fornication) and also homosexuality/lesbianism.
Yes ask GOD to make you into that woman who is of a meek and a quiet spirit. Remember you're not trying (as a Christian) to be what some man finds attractive, but what GOD finds attractive (concering your spirit). Let the WORD of GOD lead you concerning how a holy woman of GOD is to be.
Also, dear sister, You can work and take care of you and your kid, without having that independent spirit. It about having the Right attitude.
I don't want a man nor anything that looks like a man in any way. I love a womanly woman. :glow: Submissive, kind, loving, sweet, feminate, and all that good stuff. Now you see those loud and proud, stubborn and rebellious women are all around. Easy to find. but very little worth. Be that woman who is of Great Price in the sight of the ALMIGHTY GOD. Remember, By the SPIRIT of GOD, you can become All that pleases GOD. Amen.
I guess the �right� man, when he comes along, won�t be completely put off by my confidence and �independence�. I pray that he will first and foremost see my dependence on God, and if he IS the right man, I�ll see the same in him.
I�m already striving to be open to what God wants me to be as a single woman of God, so I�ll just continue to be open to God to help me adjust if necessary when my man of God finally finds me. I know it will be a big adjustment after over 14 years of being �on my own�, but it is an adjustment that I am most willing to make and able to make with God�s help.
Thank you also for your comment. I was evidently typing my last response as you were responding.
I do agree with you that a woman should be "submissive, kind, loving, sweet, feminate, and all that good stuff", and I believe I am those things along with strong and confident. But I am strong and confident only because of my confidence in God and the strength He has blessed me with to make it through these past 14+ years.
I pray that my "confidence" is not misconstrued, by a man or anyone else, as a "proud, independent spirit." For, I do have a submissive spirit, submitted to God, to church leadership, and someday, to my husband.
Once more, I thank you for taking the time to respond and for all the encouragment you give in the Forums.
It is really a shame what our culture has done to men and women,its not one gender over anothers fault,but the fault of sin!Women have become like men and men like women!There are distinct roles designed by god,I think christians,of all people,should strive too put things back the way they were designed too be!Unfortunatley,most of us find ourselves in situations where we have had no choice!Especialy those of us who were saved later in life,and the affects of sin have already devistated our lives and the lives of our children!I dont think confidence is the issue here,but femininity,The vast majority of men(wether they will admit it or not)are attracted to feminine women,not bossy,loud,tough acting,ones!I mean if you really want to catch a man,you have to use the right bait, In Christ Steven
Praise the LORD JESUS CHRIST and peace be unto you my sister.
Certainly it's Good for both males and females to be both Strong and Confident in the LORD.
Meek doesn't mean weak, but it does mean self-denying and GOD-relying.
The Virtuous woman spoken of in Proverbs 31 is obviously a strong woman, yet with complete reliance on GOD, doing her husband "no evil" all of his days. This would have to include submitting to his GOD-given authority in CHRIST.
So then her strength would not be an opposing force in her husband's life, but rather used to advance him to reach the LORD'S goals for him and his family. Then he'll have extra to fulfill GOD'S Purpose. And she'll fulfil her role as a "help" who is fit (meet) for her husband. Amen.
