IMHO, I find winks confusing. I am not a huge fan of it.
I just feel like the guy is either too shy or too lazy to send a message. Eitherway, I don't know how to respond to it. Yes, I do peek at my winkers' profiles and it's sad sometimes, because though they seem nice, I just can't stop thinking that maybe they're too timid or just plain lazy. Hence, I end up not responding. Who wants a timid/lazy guy anyways?
I am just wondering if my thoughts about winks are valid.
Why do guys send winks? What do they expect out of it?
Technically, the right response to winking is to wink back and then bask in the awkward silence.
People who can't enjoy that awkward silence lack a sense of humor in my view.
If I wink, it means you turn me on for some reason. If she winks back, it means something similar.
If we both sit there and trade amused smilies at each other and just gawk in silence, it means that words aren't needed immediately.
Besides, what if I'm eating lunch and don't have time to recite Hamlet or the poetry of Job at the moment.
Maybe it is lazy. But I'm looking for someone lazy and amusing enough to be as equally laid back and cool with themselves.
That's why I actually prefer to meet someone around my age. They actually get it and aren't afraid to take take this scenario in slow wine sips instead of slamming an energy drink.
Cool, slow like honey, cultured, classy, at ease, lounging, sultry--that's my "type".
A guy is not being timid when he winks. it's respect. A guy winks because he wants to know if you are interested before he makes first contact. It's a guys way of not putting the other person is a position of having to tell the guy they're not interested.
I find these funky, crazy, emoticions a bit distracting. Although I guess it's another way to try and bring someone's personality, voice, or humor into the forground. So, is this Mr. T? Hmm, seems like it is! :MrT: "I pitty the foul!" Ah, Mr. T, such a tough guy, haven't seen him in any profiles! Anyway ...
I have found the inital conversation starters to be slow going. Maybe I don't send enough winks! Or there's the messages I send, that I see get read and then no response. Sigh. 'Cest la vive. Right? "Such is life."
Have you thought of this? Maybe the guy himself is really shy or somehow feels intimidated or has a fear of rejection?
In any case, if you did view his profile and it interests you, I feel that if you winked back or even sent a thank you message, it might start something.
I have sent messages to people of interest that viewed and or sent a wink by saying something like, "Thanks for viewing my profile! May God bless your endeavors of your search!" A few times I responded to winks saying, "Thanks for the wink, or did you get something in your eye?"
It doesn't sound flirty, does it?
Try not to make so many assumptions but give him the benefit of doubt. He might be the one!
I really liked what RD63 said about the wink being a man's way to show a sign of respect towards the woman (or women) on this site. Sometimes I wonder if adding someone to your favorites is what others do as a way of showing respect. I know I have done this myself on several occasions, as my nod of respect towards them. Now, for me to stretch myself and let these individuals KNOW!
Keonikane, thank you for your wise and humorous words! I appreciate your advice and your knack for details in your profile! It is rare to find detailed profiles by men, perhaps because us women usually have more words we have to use up for our day than men do. I am really glad to see on your profile, that another person, far removed from myself: felt the author of Wild at Heart (the companion book Captivating) addressed many things specifically related to each gender and how we function in our lives. Your sign off makes me chuckle and makes me wonder how should a lady dress for this hunting? Your sign off, also makes me think of the book cover for How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. It's difficult enough to even find the right "hunting grounds" or to know who's off limits and who's not!
