It's very late on a Saturday night, I've just finished an evening with a movie (Inkheart - Excellent) and games with my two sons. Anyone out there know Bakugan? I didn't, until tonight; not too bad, as games go, though it's sort of simplistic. Good for my genius 10-year-old, bad for me, the 37-year-old who prefers other games with more spunk, hehe.
I'm not sure, honestly, what I can say about myself that hasn't been said on my profile page. I'm glad this site is here, as I'm not rich, at least not yet, hehe, unless you're the type that counts two of the most loving and wonderful boys on the planet, and a Mother who is worth 100 times her weight in gold, and a family and a circle of friends who support me as much as they are possibly able to as riches.
Oh, wait, I do too!
Just wanted to let anyone out there know that, although I'm on this site to find a future help-meet for me and mother for my sons -hopefully my 'Rachel'-, that I intend to be friends first and then, perhaps around this coming December, '09, looking to become more.
I don't wish to seem shallow, or un-Christian, but I have to tell any lady out there wishing to communicate with me toward that previously stated very serious goal, I want a woman I find to be attractive, both on the outside and the inside. I am one of those guys -and I don't believe this is shallow, just my personal preference- that prefers a slender or proportionate woman, most assuredly the former is more preferable, and will not settle for anyone I feel is overweight. If that seems unfair, then all I can do is ask your forgiveness and drive on; please don't badger me about it, as that would be un-Christian, as well. I've had my Leah (a Shannon), given by Laban (God in Christ), and that didn't turn out so well; now I want my 'Rachel', and I've earned the right to have that woman in my life, beautiful on the outside and the inside.
Enough trying to explain myself about who I desire; now to explain myself for who I am.
I am loyal, like an old dog, and though I may have looked around when I was married the first time, one look into my first wife's face was all I needed to know I was home. I truly loved her, until she turned into a monster, and I will not just settle for someone ever again; I will know it's real, or it won't be anything.
As for allowing God to choose a wife for me and a mother for my two sons, I've given Him all the rope He needs to hang me with, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be inactive in the least.
I'm a bit rough around the edges because of how the last decade has treated me, and some of that roughness comes in the form of my diminished, though no less prevalent, faith. My sons are better people than I am because they've been through the ringer and come out on the other side smelling like roses. I'm picking up on that, but I'm still not happy with God for what He's allowed the three of us to go through over the last 7 years.
For anyone with Bible verses to shove in my direction, don't please? I've read the Bible seven times through cover-to-cover, and most of an eighth, and I've done 36 of 76 Bible studies aimed at making sure I have the 'whole truth', and I've managed to come to a truth of my own over the past decade since my time in Bosnia. I will not be dragged, to the best of my resistive ability, into a Bible discussion where verses are being bandied about like spiked baseball bats at a biker rally, thank you.
For those of you who think I'm being a bit rough, please forgive me, but you're right, I am. I'm not messin' around, here, and anyone who would, potentially, become my help-meet and mother to my two sons had better realize I'm serious about making a real go of my second, and final, marriage in this life.
A little bit over the top? Good. Only the serious ones need apply. Thank you.
I will not scripture whip you, as a fiend so aptly puts it. I want to say that most of us have been where you are right now. I pray God bring you out of it. I know he will, even when we are angry or denying Him, because He did it for me. God bless you brother.
