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Author Thread: Post-rejection "friendship"
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Post-rejection "friendship"
Posted : 23 Feb, 2009 06:46 PM

Has anyone besides me ever had trouble with post-rejection "friendship"? This means, for example, if you're a guy and you have a crush on a woman, then she starts dating someone else, but still wants your friendship. My stance is if I don't deserve to be her boyfriend, then why does she deserve to be my friend?

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Post-rejection "friendship"
Posted : 23 Feb, 2009 07:29 PM

UH...just a minute DRM, let me check to see if our resident counselor Leon, and his staff are in.... Leon!... Mike!... Mlthomas!... Michael!... Arod!... Christianguy... Xsoldout!... JIMking!... David! You guys have a client here!:excited:



Now see, this is what I was speaking about on the thread Help Me Understand.... take it away guys!:glow:



DRM, WELCOME to the board. Please have a seat, and someone will be with you in a moment.:zzzz:



ella

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Post-rejection "friendship"
Posted : 23 Feb, 2009 08:29 PM

Hi Drm,



Ella always calls me out on the tough ones. LOL. This really isn't that tough. It is natural.



Pain, especially emotional pain, is hard to deal with. Anger is always so much easier. It will mask our pain, and it is something we understand. We like our anger, it is an old friend. We know everything there is to know about it. We can even call it up at will.



I got into that to explain why you don't want to be friends after a break up. You are hurt, so you naturally turn to anger out of self defense. Only after some time can you put away the anger and deal with the pain. Then you could forgive and be friends, but by then they are usually not willing.



As Christians, we should not be that way, but there is a big difference in the way we should be and the way we are. I know it still takes me some time to get control of the anger and deal with the real issue.



Blessings,

Leon

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Post-rejection "friendship"
Posted : 24 Feb, 2009 04:24 PM

It's not happening now, but it has happened in the past and I'm just looking for feedback. When the crush would want to be my friend and others would push me for the friendship, I then think of myself being the "insignificant, wimpy little friend."



I suppose I don't think much of friendship for its own sake, but rather as a bridge to get to a goal.

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Post-rejection "friendship"
Posted : 24 Feb, 2009 04:48 PM

Part 2 of my latest entry:



Who would cross a bridge just to hit a wall?

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