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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 6 May, 2009 05:46 AM

My name is Kenneth who is moving to Columbus real soon.

I only had one girlfriend my whole life.

I would to meet a wonderful woman to date.

One thing that concerns me is this:

I have asperger syndrome. It is a form of autism. What it is someone with asperger are usually above average intellect but lack the social skills and quite a few other autisic characteristics. It is very hard for someone like me to handle social situations.

It is one of the biggest downfalls of it. I see having AS as both a blessing and a curse, but this is one of biggest adversities.

I can't even handle a relationship or even friendship in general.

Anorther thing that alarms is 90 percent of those with AS who married eended up devorced within 5 years.

Maybe I read the stat wrong but that is what I'm up against.

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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 6 May, 2009 05:47 AM

Sorry I hit submit before finishing it.

Anyway:

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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 6 May, 2009 05:49 AM

Why is this automatically submitting on me I don't know. (if the mod/admin ccan merge my posts together I would greatly apreciate it)

Anyway:

This is what worries me to death because of all of this.

Maybe who can understand what I can do.

Kenneth

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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 9 May, 2009 09:42 AM

Well, the first thing I'd suggest is to stop reading statistics about people with aspergers. It'll only depress you.



I have ADHD so I should know. I used to read statistics, look things up. I wanted to know scientifically what my chances were, I wanted to even the odds. I discounted how much my feelings were playing into things and how reading those odds almost became a self-fulfilling prophesy.



Second, I think the impact that your aspergers has on your life has to do with how badly you have it, and how well you've been taught to cope with it. Have you had training or counseling, do you take any kind of medication to help? A lot of the things that you might lack when it comes to social things, while natural for others, can be learned.



Here are some things that helped me with my ADHD:

~I went to a counselor and I got training in ways to get around it. I, too, have a higher-than-average intellect. That's awesome because I can learn what other people *have to* have on instinct.

~I read books on body language.

~I spent time sitting and watching people interact.

~I learned to recognize words, or a lack of certain words that hinted at certain emotional responses (mainly annoyance and anger).

~I started taking a medicine to decrease (note: not get rid of, I hate the idea of being drugged up) the effects to a level that I could manage

~I learned to roll with my social fopas

~Whenever I want to say something, I bite my tongue first (ok, not literally, and not always, sometimes I just talk but then I get that look from people, like I've grown a second head or something):winksmile:

~I stopped hiding



I have known a few people with aspergers, they never seemed as weird to me as they seemed to think they were. Sure, they had this...funniness about them, and they said off the wall stuff that made my off the wall stuff look normal, and sometimes their faces forgot to show emotion, but it was also part of their charm. I think that most people think the same.



But, here is a universal truth; lack of social interaction over time will make you increasingly less able to interact socially, the opposite is also true.

You said you can't have friends. Why? And, if you're not comfortable with friends than why are you looking for a relationship? What is it that you're looking for?

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r_greta

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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 10 May, 2009 04:51 AM

Believe in God and you will be healed.

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I don't know if this the good place for advice
Posted : 18 Jun, 2009 07:22 AM

Trust in God to be healed and accept it in faith and you will be. He bore your sicknesses on the Cross and you WERE healed. You just have to claim it and accept it...

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