I met a recently seperated female and everything was perfect. I honestly thought/think that God sent her for me.
In the great state of NC you have to be seperated for a year until you can be divorced.
This girl has a 17 month old child and here lies the problem. Not with the child but rather her father. He doesn't want his ex to date anyone and threatened that he will try for custody if he finds out she is dating someone. We kept our relationship a secret for the past 7 months and out of no where she comes to me saying she needs a break until the divorce is final. Now mind you, we have got extremely close to the point of marriage talk.
She has recently stated that it would kill her for her to see me with someone else, but that she can't continue to date me until her divorce is final.
I know this may not make perfect sense and I will try to be more clear, but what do you think is going on? She says I can drive by her house anytime, and that she has no doubt that she doesn't want him back.
Please do not be offended as I mean this in a loving way my brother. She is a married woman, and it is wrong for you two to have been dating at all. I am sorry if this is painful for you, but as a Christian you have to know that this is not pleasing to God.
I believe that you need to leave her alone until she is divorced and only marry her if she has biblical grounds for the divorce. Tim I am going to pray for you that God would bring conviction to your heart in this matter and that you will repent and be forgiven.
There is no other way to put this so let me frank and please do not be offended.
This woman is "Married" and in the eyes of God she is married. "Separated" is not divorced nor does God give you or her permission to date. You are both in sin. Do you think God will bless this? Not on your life.
God is not going to send a MARRIED woman to you so you can cause or commit sin. Your heart is deceiving you my brother and I do not mean to sound harsh but I think this needs to make a big impact on you. You are dishonoring God, her and yourself and in so doing you are destroying your witness as a Christian.
I can understand wanting to be a friend but you have to be oh so careful and not get involved beyond that. Keep your distance and no physical contact.
Let me give some food for thought. Is her pending divorce Biblical? In other words assuming that he is also a "Christian", then there is only one allowance for divorce and remarriage. He must have committed adultery. But here is another problem. If by chance, when you two have been dating and you two also had any sexual relations....God forbid, then you have nullified her grounds for divorce and she cannot remarry. She would be just as guilty as her husband IF and I say IF that has occurred. I pray that is not the case.
Additionally....dating a woman who is going through a divorce or just got divorced is the worse thing you can do as she is too vulnerable and most likely you will end up as the "transitional man". This means she will later dump you. This happens a great deal.
The best advise I can give you is RUN. There are too many godly available, ready to date and get married woman out there. Don't settle!
she comes to me saying she needs a break until the divorce is final
mine here
tim i think she was convicted of what she was doing.. and now she wants to do it the right way.. the bible tells us that even if a wife leaves her husband for a time of seperation that this is a time for reconcilliation. now as he may of cheated on her .she may of thought it was ok to go ahead and start her a new relationship.. its best not to get involved until the divorce is final as she could possibly reconcile with her husband.. as GOD can do miracles up till the time the papers are signed theyre still married by the states standards.. and yet GOD still sees them as married even after the divorce unless for the cause of fornication of one of the parties with two believers. or in the case of an unbeliever leaves the spouse.. then youre no longer bound by GODS thinking. so where does that leave folks who are divorced unbiblically.. well i believe that you can ask for forgiveness for being remarried as any sin can be forgiven except the blasphamy of the HOLY SPIRIT..
She went back to her husband. I think this is a 50/50 deal. I cared alot for her, but she was MARRIED in Gods eyes and I should not have even messed with it. She claims he cheated, but couldn't prove it.
What makes it hard is that since rededicating myself to God I prayed He would send me a good Christian female. When she came along I felt my prayers were answered and reconfirmed my beliefs. I have learned more since, and feel it will better me in making relationship choices in the future.
We don't talk anymore, and it is better that way. Thank you all for your words. I would rather you tell me like it is and hurt my feeling then beat around the bush.
I know that what you've gone through has hurt you, but I look at your situation like this...God did not send that woman to you because she WAS married. See, when God does it, it's right! And it wouldn't have been right for any of the parties involved. You've done the right thing by letting go and moving on. We have a motto in our church "Let Go and Let God". If you make sure that that you are in God's will and you pray to Him for what you want, you can be sure it will be right. God Bless You! Emma
You need to move on. I think sucha nice guy like you will find someone who follow you no matter what, who will share with you her life. Who will give you what you want and deserve in this life and you will stay happy ever after!.
