Thread: I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?
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I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?
Posted : 4 Jun, 2009 06:17 AM
:waving:Hello brothers and sisters - family! I promised to address this topic a while ago, but as you know life can be quite busy! I hope what you are about to read will have been worth the wait for it is God's will concerning each of us as we wait patiently to meet that "someone special". Enjoy and feel free to crack open your Bible and engage!
Before I begin, just a few housekeeping notes for those of you who are unfamiliar::glow:
First question, who is Elisee and why the goofy dog picture?:goofball:
Elisee = Elise E. I used to have pictures posted but thought better of it because (a) I didn't like the shallow responses it garnered (b) As a business owner, involved in evangelism and working on a doctorate in theology discretion is tres importante!lol. People tend to think if you're involved in ministry you are supposed to be "perfect" and hold it against you for possessing the full range/gambit of human emotion. I did not want to "give 'em something to talk about" :devil: (in the words of one steel guitar strumming singer) and finally(c) I found sharing pictures once a person's honor, integrity and character (things that are paramount) to be a better way!! I don't care to have my face determine whether or not someone stops to say hello or not. Personally, I am attracted to men from the inside out because of the God in them...I want a man attracted to me the same way! To each his own, do what you want and please afford me that same right! Don't let the doggy distract you from what follows for it will help you on your journey. It is the pure unadulterated Word of God specifically addressing dating issues and answers.
:rolleyes:Ever wonder why the mystery surrounding God's will? Simply put: GODS WORD IS HIS WILL! Every aspect of our christian lives today are addressed by Gods word for His word IS his will for our lives! The only mystery concerning God's will is what we have not studied and hidden in our hearts!!
Fianlly, what follows is a series addressing modern day dating and God's plan for christian singles . Forget about me. I am not your focus. What follows are answers to questions most singles have entertained at some point or another. This study of Gods will - His word concerning your singleness will bless you if you are open to be blessed. At its conclusion you will not only know what God plans for you - but will understand just how much he is in the seemingly "meaningless" details of your dating experiences! Your perspective on yourself, Gods will and plan for your "mating experience" will absolutely change your life and how you go through this season of your life. Promise!
Ready? Ok hurry, grab your Bible and lets go...
PART I - The hardest lesson of all:
God isn't so much concerned about who we marry as who we are!! What?:excited: Its true! Look at Romans 12:1. We are strongly urged (beseeched) by Paul to present OURSELVES a living sacrifice - holy and acceptable to Christ...Paul goes on to say this is our REASONABLE service! As christians we must discard the garbage thrown at us by the world: fornication, lust, selfish pride: Sex was created by God to be wonderful and beautiful - the world has turned this most precious gift between a married man and a woman into a billion dollar a year porn industry that even exploits children! Paul cautions however that as christians (followers of Christ and not of the world's system of values) that we are to be transformed by the "renewing" of our minds. Why? So that WE might prove what is the good and acceptable and PERFECT WILL of God!! We're supposed to not only know, but prove Gods will...how? by being transformed. How? Thru the renewing of our minds - daily, hourly, minute to minute if necessary!
Don't miss this point: God's will is not a mystery to the christian whose mind is renewed - look at that scripture again: Romans 12:1-4 "Be not conformed to this world...but be transformed by the renewing of your mind ...that ye may prove the good, acceptable and PERFECT WILL OF GOD. God has a plan for your life that is not a mystery that you can only tap into if your mind is renewed! Furthermore, check out I Cor 7:...if you are not bound to a wife/husband - don't seek to be (paraphrasing)! I can already hear: "Come off it sis - we're on a singles site and so are you! We want to be married"!! :MrT: I get that, and thats not a problem...the problem comes when our desires- our mental playground changes our spiritual heart: We want to be married or coupled so badly we forget the lesson God is trying to give us: Don't want marriage/coupling so badly that you throw out my perfect will focusing on your desires sooOOO much that you step over my perfect will for you which would be manifest if only your first priority was the renewing of your mind rather than mating/coupling/marrying!!
Priorities are important to God! God is saying, I am not nor is my will for your life a spooky mystery. I reveal my will concerning your singleness when you transform your mind through renewal. Otherwise partnering with someone is simply a "shot in the dark" for you and I want more/ better than that for you"!! See it? Paul says if you're not married - don't seek to be...another scripture says: Seek ye first the kingdom of God...and everything else (husband/wife) will be added to you! (Matthew 6:33). Get it? If we seek God first we honor HIS counsel, and HIS will for our mates, is made manifest. That is respect that comes with reward. The choice is ours...we can fail to seek God focusing rather on seeking a mate but we will create a mountain to climb that God never intended. By renewing our minds thru prayer and submission to his priorities we are saying to God: "Lord I trust you wholly and completely" setting us up not just for marriage but successful marriages founded on Godly principles of honoring God rather than leaning on our own understanding and pitiful counsel!
Conclusion: If we follow Psalms 37:4 (Delight thyself in the Lord and HE WILL give you the desire of thine heart), and prioritize God's calling in our lives to FIRST PRSENT OURSELVES TO HIM alone, our minds will be transformed thru renewal of the Spirit so that we better understand God's perspective on finding the RIGHT MATE!! We will have the mind and will of God moving us towards the person HE intends for us to marry and we will no longer be moved by silly things like physical attraction missing the person GOD HAS FOR US! :toomuch: Why do you suppose the divorce rate is so high...even in the church?! People have failed to prioritize, substituting their desperate desires for GODS PERFECT WILL HIS will is made so simple and plain:
1. Understand God's perspective - I Cor 7
2. Know God's calling in your life - Romans 12:1-4
3. Align your priorities with Gods - Matthew 6:33
4. Transform your way of thinking by renewing your thoughts about singleness - lay yourself on the altar and make a living sacrifice of your will to HIS.
Hope you enjoyed and got something out of this...Part II will look at God's timing for bringing lasting love into our single lives:laugh:
If I might offer this: Learn to pray the word. Gods word is HIS will and when we don't know how to pray, we give HIS word back to HIM and He honors it because His word is true and He is not a man that he should lie amen? Try inserting yourself in the above referenced scriptures and watch God work it out!
Till next time may God richly bless you my beloved family!
I love you Michelle, with the love of the Lord and look forward to your insight on this important topic...I just got frustrated hearing my family (and at times myself) under attack with no one to come alongside and say,"brother, sister I know how you feel but lets go to God TOGETHER OVER THIS THING!...As you know, Michelle, not so long ago I myself came under spiritual attack feeling so alone and so lonesome yet knowing the word. Sometimes we just need someone to say, I love you and God is all in this season of your life...just a little encouragement...ya'know?
Thats why I started this post and hope all of you will join in to help lift our brothers and sisters - we all go through rough spots once in a while and its just good to come together and fellowship...speaking of which:
I was planning a site get together this summer for any and all interested in attending a fellowship weekend with church, good food and good company...let me know!
I am so grateful for those of you who have not only folowed these postings but participated and shared your wisdom. Please continue to do so!
So far we've...
1.Considered that knowing Gods will means to know His word and acknowledged that this happens when we allow ourselves to be transformed by the renewing of our minds to glimpse into heaven as the prayer example shared with us by Jesus...see previos postings!
2.Looked at single people in the Bible to understand the importance of having right priorities (God FIRST) and God's timing:
Example one: Isaac and Rebacca - Isaac was in his late
thirties before his father Abraham selected his bride. Isaac did not concern himself with WHO she would be, WHAT she would look like (blond, blue or purple, fat, skinny) or WHEN. Isaac fully expecte his father to handle those details and ended up with what we all want: An unselfish, caring and phenomenal spouse!
Example two: Jacob and Rachel - Jacob showed us the example of the commitment required in marriage by working seven long, hard years for the bride he wanted. Jacob also taught us that more important than rushing to build the house (marry) is securing the firm foundation (Christ) upon which that house must stand!
Today?
MOSES
What a powerful example on several layers! Please read and re-read what I am about to write as it addresses the topic but also an area of major concern for me personally:
Moses understood promise. But we find Moses killing an Egyptian...Imagine in just a short time Moses would be giving to us the commandment: Thou shalt not kill! Moses not only kills this Egyptian man attempt to hide the body!!
Here the thing: The Bible says God knew our names when we were formed in the belly. The Bible says God who has declared the beginning from the end has predestined which name will appear in the Lamb's book of life...Yes we have free will, but God has already chosen and the Bible says HE knows those that are HIS even (get this) even when others would write them off as bums, murderers, rapists! God sees the path each one born will follow - paths we have not even happened upon yets. Look at this: We find David sitting on the backside of a mountain in obscurity - a sheperd boy...We find Saul enroute to Damascus and we find MOSES committing a heinous murder and attempting to hide the body! The next day Moses comes upon two hebrew brethern arguing and tries to calm them down...might he have slain one or both of them had they been Egyptian, Black, White, Hispanic, Catholic, Pentecostal or Atheist? Might MOSES have slain them and tried to hide their bodies too? Apparently they thougt so because the flat out asked:
"Are you gonna kill us like you did the Egyptian yesterday?"
Moses, according to the Bible, fled and lived in obscurity for forty (40) years!! Moses understood the promise but got AHEAD of God's timing and it cost 40 years! Nevertheless 40 years later God finally causes Moses to come into obedience and Moses life then lines up and the promise to deliver Gods chosen people is fulfulled. Moses was impatient on Gods promise - frustrated with the enslavement and took matters into his own hands shedding blood in murdering that man. Moses pressed ahead of God's timing with his own agenda which not only cost more time (40 years worth) but also consider that the people he was to deliver spent another 40 years in bondage! Think about that: Children, grandchildren that were born into bondage that might have been delivered much earlier had Moses waited on God.
Now heres what I get from this: First and in keeping with answering the topic question (I've asked God for a mate - where is he/she?) It is vitally important to not become frustrated, doubting God to the point of impatience...it simply delays as God must then take the time to teach us the lesson of trusting HIM to know and do best by His kids!
On a slightly different front and based on an issue that I have encountered and that I find disappointing, MOSES teaches another important and invaluable lesson:
We do not get to choose who should be maligned as unworthy. We do not get to see how people we love to hate in the name of "christianity" are going to end up. God and God alone determines whose name is written in the Lamb's book of life! God alone calls the name of each and every child born in the womb and sees their end from their beginning...We do not have the right, the authority or the intelligence to treat the unsaved, the atheist or any other person badly on this site or in life. Period. I am sure many looked at some of us and pronounced us "worthless", "sinner", and "hell bound" BUT GOD WHO IS RICH IN MERCY looked way down the road and saw you and I saved and in HIS service even when our deeds and thoughts did not add up to that. God who teaches us to love our enemy says that HE will make our enemies our footstool...that is not our job or right! Shame on us for turning unsaved, searching souls away from our chat rooms and "blocking them" when they share differing opinions...Can we not understand that Jesus willing stretched HIS arms out on Calvary and said, I came to to condemn but that the world thru me my be saved. Jesus said I came to save the lost! How dare we in our limited little pea brains questions Gods right and ability to recognize HIS OWN children!
This is not new brothers and sisters: Jesus went thru the same thing - being judged by ignorant people with small minds that did not understand because they could not see the big picture! It was even said of Jesus: "What? Can anything good come out of Nazareth?"
My point is the next time you get ready to ban/block/banish someone from asking questions or inquiring about this great God we serve ask yourself these questions:
1. Could this person be Saul who will become the great saint after persecuting the saints?
2. Is this another David turned giant killer in just a few years?
3. Could this person be Moses who might soon lead Gods people to the next level despite a tough beginning?
Remember family God existed long before America came into existence. HE is a Spirit that does not come branded with our great American flag tatooed on Himself. We have to get the love of God right! We cannot continue to disengage with and people because their circumstances and lives are different from our own. I am a 20year military veteran so patriotism could well be my name. One thing I got out of being in the military? Diversity in culture, thought and life is Gods creation...and everything HE created IS GOOD. Too, we need to know that God doen't need us to "stick up for him" when he's dealing with someones heart...He just needs us to be vessels of HIS love and HIS wisdom instead of beating people up.
It hurts and shames me when I see this happening. We do not know to whom we are being rude...
God bless and tune in with your thoughts ...tomarrow we'll look at what God has planned for our lives in detail!
Hey family! Lets get to the meat of what this topic is all about now that we've done some background work and understand that there are some preliminary preparations required: Mind renewal, firm foundation building and understanding how singles in the Bible were "hitched"!lol
What did God have in mind for his human creation anyway?
Well, the Bible clearly states that God created every living species and brought them to Adam just to see what Adam would name them...(sidenote: God appreciates ingenuity and creativity in we humans!) Adam named them all and to do that he must have spent plenty of time observing them - shape, size, personality...in other words, Adam was preoccupied for time but still, the Bible says, Adam remained unfulfilled and desirous of a "helpmeet" which translated simply means helper. Adam was empty inside...and long story short, God causes a deep sleep to come upon Adam and when he awakes he minus a rib, but lo and behold: a naked woman! Of course they didn't know they were naked and so were unashamed....that would come later which might explain why today, porn is a billion dollar industry because after they were disobedient, and realized they were naked they became ashamed - the "need"/"drive" to undo the curse of sin - has been a quest to disrobe and defy Gods authority ever since...hence the mystery and pre-occupation with something as modestly small (compared to everything else) as human sexual organs! An entire industry has taken the beauty that God created and masterminded and shrouded in such mystery and intrigue as to spit in the face of our God's authority!
God took Eve not from Adams head, or foot, but rib...close to his heart!...so much so that every man feels somehow empty, alone without a woman in his life. God took something out of Adam and so he will forever miss what was taken out of him!!God intended for that man-woman bond to be beyond supernatural! He intended for that bond to be unbroken...and so, He ponders and waits for each of us to learn the lessons of life that will teach us that marriage is holy, sanctioned by God and intended to last!...Many go into marriage thinking: If it doesn't work I'll just get a divorce....not so fast there quick silver! Marriage is God's plan for a man and a woman and Gods plans are to be reverenced beyond all!
A word here: I noticed a post about christians living together? Well heres the thing: Marriage is Gods way of spiritually bonding two people together as ONE UNIT affording blessing! Sleeping with someone, washing someones socks, or divying up responsiblities does not make two people one...only God can do that because it is not a "natural" act but a spiritual one that comes only from God! Being physically capable of intercourse and or sharing living space does not make two people spiritually capable or emotionally capable of ONENESS...only God can do this! Think about it, why, generally speaking, do relationships and even marriages break down? They stop existing as one unit and operate as two seperate individuals because they are attacked in the main areas that bind them: Spiritual, emotional and eventually physical disengagement results because they no longer ACT as one cohesive unit in thought, deed or desire! See?
Word to the wise: If you are dealing with someone christian or not who lacks the ability to communicate openly and without being pushed proceed with caution! Why? Because I Pet 3 tells husbands to LIVE with their wives ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE ...in the Greek, that word "live" literally means to "dwell down with or align with"! Husbands are being told, not asked, but told to align yourself with your wife---Not this modern day conceit many men have boasting, "If a woman wants me she better come up to MY standards.." uh uh...nope!lol God says Husbands align yourselves with your wives AND do so ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE - You cannot KNOW your wife if you lack the ability to "communicate" (talk and LISTEN) to her! You cannot KNOW your wife if her attempts to teach you about herself are met with "stop nagging", "would you quit talking and just listen"? Hallelujah?
Marriage is more than just a piece of paper! It is a promise and a commitment to become ONE in spirit, emotionally and physically...to KNOW one another beyond that which is simply of the natural realm...
If we are patient, and act on Gods timing, HE will bless us with the person who understands what we've talked about here today.
Next time we'll pick up with another recent post I noticed: Qualities that men and women ought to look for in one another, we'll go into Bibilical detail that will absolutely leave each of us asking, "Do I possess that"? God willing?...No God is willing! Peace family
Ok so now we come to the end of this little study addressing the question: I'VE ASKED GOD FOR A MATE - WHERE IS HE/SHE?????
If you have read all previous postings, I pray that you have gleaned something of interest that perhaps looks at "finding a mate" in a slightly different fashion. Some of the ideas posted here may have been slightly different from what you are used to...most were just practical, Bible-based tips to answer this question. If you have been blessed by this study than thanx be unto God, our Lord and Saviour forever!
Reading or knowing ABOUT something is always easier than actual appllication. If, however, you apply the Biblical truths that have been offered here I know you will be blessed and your life changed in ways you never could have imagined.
In summation here are the ideas that have been espoused:
1. Gods will concerning everything was not designed to be
the "mystery" many view it as. Gods word is HIS will. Know HIS word - Know His will. Does God have a mate for you? Does God intend for you to meet and marry? Know HIS word, Know His will - your "mystery" question will be answered in HIS word. If you don't know His word may I encourage you to study to show yourself approved? In your studies...you will find out what God intends for your life!
2. Knowing Gods will requires that we "look into the heavenlies". Why? Jesus prayer example: "...Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" does not substantiate the claim of some that Gods will is somehow meant to be a mystery...Rather, that prayer suggests that Gods will is being done (right now) in heaven, and THAT will is what needs to be done here on earth. So what is going on in heaven? The answer to that question requires action! We must be transformed by the renewing of our minds through daily prayer which in turn allows we humans to "look into the heavenlies - the Spiritual (capital S here!).
3. We must become familiar with the singles of the Bible who had the formula down to a science for marriage: TRUST that God not only knows best, but chooses best for us and requires only that we patiently seek HIM and while we are waiting for HIM to fulfil HIS word (which He hastens to perform) we need to check the foundation we are building upon to make sure the house of love we build will stand.
4. We need to ensure that we have not only studied the word, but have hidden it within our hearts that we might not sin against God. You see family, we cannot "push God with unclean hands and impure hearts!" !! !! !! Let me say this again:
WE CANNOT PUSH GOD WITH UNCLEAN HANDS AND IMPURE HEARTS into doing our bidding - God is not our errand boy. We don't get to say:
"Lord I've asked you for a mate - where is he/she"? No the example given by singles in the Bible is what we must follow! That is the "mystery will" forumula for finding love and marriage according to Gods will = word! See this? Hallelujah!
Singles in the Bible busied themselves with Gods work and trusted Father not only to choose/select a mate (WHO) but with the WHEN and WHERE and even the WHAT details. Its so simple its almost too simple...and perhaps that is how we humans complicate things sometimes...perhaps that is just human. God says: Know my word and you will know my will, God says seek my kingdom and I will add..., God tells us what we ought to be doing but instead we come back with complications!
God: Humble yourself before me and TRUST me
Humans: Ok God but what is your will?
God: Trust that I know your life better than you yourself for I called your name when you were yet in your mothers belly.
Human: Ok, I get that God, but WHO? Is my mate built nice, beautiful, rich, black, cuban,...skinny, fat?
God: You haven't read I Peter 3 while you were waiting.
Human: Yeah I read it BUT...I just want who I want - blond, blue-eyed...cause Lord you said I could have the desires of my heart right?
God: I told you to seek me FIRST as a priority.
Human: Ok...but WHEN?
God: If you would inquire into the heavenlies you would have been transformed through the renewing of your mind so that you would be on MY time...
God: The qualities you seek in a man should be aligned with Ephesians 5:25 if you are seeking a husband... The qualities you should be seeking in a wife are those outlined in Proverbs 31:10. Period.
Human: Yeah, God, but the dog ate my homeword and I don't even know what those scriptures say! Could you just come to me in a dream and tell me your will concerning my life.
God: Ok Moses, take another lap around the mountain and try it again. This time follow these steps:
1. Prioritize - seek me FIRST, not for a mate...just to know
me.
2. Get a life - a prayer life so that you understand and know my will for your life...I've plainly written out for you in my word.
3. Trust me with the who, what, when and where
4. If its not in my word don't insert it. Leave yourself behind (your thoughts and ideas) Its not about you, its about me. Had you known my word you would have realized why "marriage" is so special to my heart: It represents the marriage of the bridegroom and the church. In this respect it cannot afford to be mismatched, confused or supported by a crumbling foundation. "Marriage represents ME! My commitment to the church and hers to me. I do not expect to come for a church (bride) who has not made herself ready and is blameless without spot or wrinkle! Your marriage on earth is to reflect my example!!!!!!!!!!
Human: Really God? That deep? I thought it had to do with what I wanted! You know me, me, me and me again?...
God: Tell you what, while you're going around this same mound of dirt you call a mountain for the umpteenth time (lol) how about you do this:
Read I Cor 13...everytime you see the word "love" insert your name there...do again and this time make it in the form of prayer - still inserting your name there...light bulbs flashinig?
There it is family...the question answered. Please remember, God will give us the desires of our heart but HE is more concerned with ensuring that a man understands that he is to represent Christ in the union - and those qualities are what matters....not the kind of car, job or biceps a man has! Rather...is that man capable of being a servant even as Christ was a servant and yet master at once? Is that man you are interested in capable of understanding that he represents Christ undying love for HIS bride (the church) or is he conceited, ego centric and selfish? Men is that woman you seek - the one who looks like Beyonce or Paris Hilton (right) is she qualified to represent the bride/church...can she (better yet) carry your name and represent the bridegroom honorably. Does she understand how she is an archtype (so to speak) of the bride of Christ committed to service and ready for His return?
Many will point to David and Samuel's "love pursuits" as justification...but know this: David and Samuel paid the price for disobedience to Gods instruction in terms of finding love...we too shall not escape if we neglect to follow Gods plan for our lives! Fornication comes from the Greek word "pornia" where we get the word pornography...When we engage in fornication we open Pandora's box of sexual immorality and as a consequence God cannot and will not
count us as worthy of representing HIS love for HIS bride!
Check yourself!
I hope this little mini series has been helpful and enjoyable. Most of all I hope you will take the time to consider what has been written here...it will change your life if you are open.
This ends this series and I hope you all will check out my next study which will be on a subject sore to most: Dealing with issues of race as a christian.
Peace family and may God richly bless you today and always!
