Author	Thread: Don't call her mom....I'm your mom.
Admin	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 17 Jul, 2009 06:30 PM Hi guys. My son was talking about his father's live in girlfriend, perhaps fiance as well, and he referred to her as mom. well of course, i said, "excuse me! what did you call her?" he said that his father said that it was rude of him to keep calling her by her name that it was time for him to start calling her mom. my son said that he doesn't like calling her mom, but since dad said it was rude, and wants him to call her mom, that's the only reason why he's doing it. was i wrong for telling my son the following: your father is wrong in making you calling her mom. she is not your mom. i'm your mom. she didn't raise you. even if i were to die today, she is still not your mom. your father doesn't call his stepfather dad. right? he calls him by his name. and your uncles does the same. they call him by his name. why? because he didn't raise them. there were teenagers when he married their mother. and you are 12 yrs old and you have me and your dad raising you. why not tell your dad how you feel? ask him why he and your uncle do not call their stepfather dad or i can talk to your dad about it for you. he didn't respond. so, i said that he is not obligated to call a complete stranger mom. what do you guys think about this? God Bless, Zoe Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 26 Jul, 2009 04:54 AM dear annv, welcome to the forums.. nice points. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 26 Jul, 2009 09:56 AM thank you all for the great advice. i appreciate it. God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 27 Jul, 2009 01:25 PM Hello my fellow brothers and sisters. I wanted to give you all an update. My son just returned from spending the weekend with his father. I asked him if he called his father's live-in girlfriend/fiance mom like his father requested and he said no. He said he avoided calling her all weekend long. I said to him that if he doesn't want to call her mom, he doesn't have to. FYI - I did offer to talk to his dad about this matter, but he did not answer. I know my son that means no. But in a way, I feel it's good he doesn't want me involved in it. He's 12 years old now. He should be able to talk freely with his dad. Besides, his father NEVER showed me any respect as a parent and NEVER took my advice. So, if he notices that our son hasn't called her mom, he would ask him. It will give a chance to our son to say that he doesn't want to call her mom and MAYBE, GOD WILLING, he'll listen to his only son! Please pray that he does. Thank you and God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 27 Jul, 2009 11:50 PM Zoe, thank you for the update. I will keep you and your son in my prayers. I know how hard it is when your child wont' talk their dad about their feelings. I have the same with my 2 boys. As a parent you want to step in and do it for them, but then we have to step back and say no it is between their dad and them. I know how hard that is. I struggle with it all the time. All we can do is give it to God and He will let His will be done. God Bless, chbriteeye Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 28 Jul, 2009 05:15 AM thank you my sister briteye. it helps to know i'm not alone in this situation. thank you for sharing your situation. most importantly, thank you for reminding me to allow the Will of God take its course. God Bless you my sister. Zoe :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 29 Jul, 2009 12:09 AM You are very welcome sister zoe. that is why we are here to help and give advice. If I can help someone else who is in the same situaton or one that i have been in then I am happy. God Bless You Carolyn Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 6 Sep, 2009 11:36 AM I would speak to his dad and tell him how you feel. Kids always get stuck in the middle in divorces. Your son knows that you are his mom, no one can ever take your place. I think that's the bottom line. I would be very upset about it too. It's like a stab in the heart. but again, no one will ever take your place OR love him the way you love him...he knows that. It's easy to fall into resentment with your ex, please follow through with asking God to help you forgive him for doing these things. You dont want to open the door for the devil to come in and do worse. blessings, riveroflife Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 6 Sep, 2009 06:57 PM I thought about this, and I guess I kind of see it from a different standpoint. My daughter's step-mom (yes, she and my X are married), is fantastic with my daughter (who is now 21, by the way). My daughter still calls her by her first name, but when I refer to her, I say things like "how's your other mom?" or "what's your bonus-mom up to?" In the beginning, I sent this woman a card once, thanking her for being so great with my daughter. I told her how much I appreciated her for accepting Toni as one of her own. We started talking on the phone here and there, and over time, became good friends. Recently, she and my X, along with their two boys, came to the town we live in and stayed for 4 days at a motel in town. We had a great time together - she and I ditched everyone else to go shopping a few times. We have no ill feelings toward each other at all. The best part of it all is how my daughter has been raised. She's been raised with an even bigger family, with more people who love her, that all get along. Can you imagine what it did for her self-esteem to see her parents AND step family all together and spending time together with zero fighting? I've had to bite my tongue a few times over the years (as they probably have, too), but over trifle things that really didn't matter to begin with. And it's well worth it to have what we have now. Your son will always know you're mom. If he doesn't feel comfortable calling her mom, then he shouldn't. But if this does progress to marriage, do what you can to get along with her AND your X. It's not about our differences - it's about raising our kids. And everyone will be happier because of it. Bless you! Lynn Post Reply
View Profile History	Don't call her mom....I'm your mom. Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 11:28 PM Hi ya - I have 2 views here....#1 you did say possible fiance? well, then she is going to be a part of your childs life and it is best for everyone to get along for the childs sake right? There is no actual harm in calling her mom - I mean it won't do any damage. On the otherhand ..... how does the child FEEL about it. If he is being pushed into it then that's wrong there is damage there. My ex raised my kids from age 1 and 3 to ages 16 and 18 and they called him daddy becuz they did it on thier own ......now t hat he's gone they call him by his first name. The 18 yr old has a to be stepmom on the way with his birth dad and he calls her by her name although I have repeatedly refered to her as his mom WHY? becuz she is taking the role of mom. I think a few factors to consider are CHILDS AGE, CONSIDERATION OF CHILDS FEEINGS, IS THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY A PERM PART OF THE CHILDS LIFE? When we get divorced it's not about us it's about the KIDS:angel: Blessings Post Reply

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