Author Thread: A Mother's Pain
godlymom2

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A Mother's Pain
Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 04:39 PM

I have never been married, though I long to be. I do, however, have an amazing, talented, beautiful teenage daughter. Over the years, I�ve had to work hard at being patient as I wait for God to fulfill my desire for a husband, but I have found it SO much more difficult coping with my daughter�s longing for a father. Her father has never really been in her life, though he�s had the opportunity.



There are times when she shows more hurt, anger, bitterness, etc. than others, but she�s told me that she typically just buries her pain and doesn�t express it though it is always there. Knowing how much she hurts nearly tears my heart in two.



For my fellow single moms, who deal with similar issues, here is something I wrote last year:



A Mother�s Pain

I�ve known the pain of heartbreak; the pain of loss; I�ve known the physical pains of burning oil on flesh, of a disc against the sciatic, shooting down my leg.

I�ve known the pain of disappointment, of disappointing others. I�ve known the pain of rejection by man, and by my own self. I�ve known the pain of childbirth. The most Worthwhile pain! But the greatest pain I�ve known thus far is the pain I feel when I see the pain in her eyes, hear the pain in her voice, in her words, when I feel the pain in her heart as I hold her crying in my arms.



I can�t fix it; I can�t solve it. I can�t stop her pain. I can�t be what she is longing for, crying for, dying for! I�ve tried and tried to fill that void, that hole, but I�m a square peg trying to fit in that round �daddy-sized� hole in her soul. She sought him out so he could fill it, to complete her, but years of separation and selfishness had built up. What should have been the perfect fit. . .No�just more pain.



I try to be wise and advise on how the only One who can complete her, Who can fill that hole in her life has always been here, never left her, will never leave her! But the enemy spotted that hole and began to fill, seeking to destroy and kill, began to infiltrate with anger, bitterness, hate. These things won�t satisfy but still he schemes to fill the hole, to kill her dreams, to make her die inside.



Lord, dig it all out and fill the hole with your love, your hope. I won�t try to fill it anymore, cause when I do, I just get in the way, Lord! Help her please! I�m on my knees. Stop this pain. Hear this mother�s cry. Don�t let my baby�s hope and joy die!

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A Mother's Pain
Posted : 5 Sep, 2009 07:32 AM

I know what you are going through. I have 2 daughters, now 22 and 17. their dad has been in and out of their lives the whole time. he's doesnt know the Lord either. My girls went through so much, desiring to be a part of his life, and he continually ran. they wondered what was wrong with them and why he didnt want to see them more often. they used to wait by the phone for him to call and say good night but eventually stopped. it was heart wrenching for me. how could someone withold love from their own children? Rather than try and figure him out, I HAD to give it to the Lord. My girls still ask about him in passing and I'm sure they wonder still what went wrong but, God turned it around. He showed me that He wanted to be their father. For me to move over and let Him. I bought them books on the Fathers Love and continually prayed for them in my prayer time. They need to know that God is not like their earthly father. That is so important tht they see the difference. God will never leave them or forsake them. Its our responsibility to show them God. Pay attention to their self esteem because it will be affected. Please email me and I would be happy to help in any way I can. We have to help the children, they are the next generation of believers;)



blessings,

Riveroflife

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mariangela

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A Mother's Pain
Posted : 28 Sep, 2009 11:56 PM

God Bless you, give you strength, and I pray that you find a sincere and decent man, you deserve that. I had tears in my eyes when I read your poem. I have three daughters of my own, and I know how hard it is to bring them up, a Godly way. Its up to us as mothers to give them our all, to bring them up as godly woman. Truly I say to you, God Bless you touched my heart.

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A Mother's Pain
Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 12:49 AM

Your poem was very touching. I have a 14 year old daughter of my own who I rarely see. We do keep in contact through email and Myspace and on the phone. I sincerely feel for you and your daughter.

I do need to say this, however. A lot of men aren't looking to be a father to another woman's children, especially teenagers. I have kids of my own and I wouldn't want another man trying to be a father to them. I understand there is no other father in this situation, except our heavenly Father. I'm not being a jerk here, just honest. I would personally try to be a spiritual leader, role model, and friend to another's children... but not a 'father'. I don't know if that makes sense and maybe I've taken the father thing too literally so if I have then I apologize.

I'd also like to say that you shouldn't feel any guilt over the matter. You obviously love your daughter very much and you've done what you can for her. The lack of a father is not something you can control. It's not your fault and I hope that is not a burden you carry.

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A Mother's Pain
Posted : 9 Nov, 2009 11:54 AM

I know your daughter's and your experience coz i've been through both paths. I've learnt that with forgiveness I could overcome everything. Forgive yourself, ask your daughter forgiveness. You'll see that you are able to face your giant

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