This is kind of long, hopefully you can bear with me!
So, I've known this guy for over a year now. He's a few years older than. Its been a strange friendship/whatever you wanna call it since we met last summer. We actually met through a bible study we both attended. One night during the mixer that they do every time before bible study we were put into groups and he ended up being in groups and thats how we ended up talking. Its was all fun. That summer me and one of my other friends, now roommate, hung out with him and talked to him a lot. Playing halo, texas hold 'em, other games. He ended up liking me and him and I ended up also hanging out alone a lot. Kind of getting involved just as far as kissing. This went on all summer, although at times I felt very awkward around him to. Although, I kind of got over. Through this time I kind of new he was struggling with his faith. Well, I was to at that time as well since I was getting wrapped up in this. Closer to the end of the summer maybe in the fall he ended up telling me that his divorce was still in the finalizing process. We still talked through that fall, but after that we didn't talk much. In a way, I was kind of mad and really didn't know what to think and I started to feel very awkward when I would see. I would often see him at a weekly meeting I went to called Campus Crusade for Christ. We talked occasionally but it was a little awkward. Then, he came up to me one night as said that he was deploying to Iraq. I knew he wanted to do that, but at that time I really didn't know what to think at that. That was the last thing he said to me for several months.
Then recently he facebook messaged me saying he was sorry for how he acted and wanted to still be friends. I replied saying it was all good and we started IMing eachother a lot after that. He told me he values my friendship a lot, and also said that he still liked. We also talked about how much fun we've had in the past together. I can't disagree with him saying that we've had a lot of fun.
This past friday he was telling me how he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do and that he was thinking a lot because he had been having dreams of the same thing and then one night he dreamt that dream but things changed in it. Since we had been talking a lot and whatnot, he told me that the more he talks to someone the more he feels like he likes them. So, he was definitely feeling like he liked. He decided that he was going to shut of his computer for a week and see how he feels about me after that.
On my end, I'm trying to figure out whether I'm just getting wrapped up in something again or what. I've been reading a devotion, my bible, and praying every morning. I hope I can find some answers that this week. I feel like I like him, but that could just be me telling myself that and not God telling me.
On another note, I have a friend who when she saw him around at bible study and downtown when we were together also felt awkward and asks me why I talk to him. I really can never give that great of an answers except that I'm a nice and that I don't like not responding to people if they send me a message on like facebook or something.
I dunno what to tell you. I would say, however, don't always trust how you feel, because that can be a wool over your eyes, so to speak. You'll end up looking back on it 10 years from now wondering what on earth you were thinking, regardless of how things turn out.
It can lead to trouble sometimes. What I've always done is take a moment to step back and look at things. It's hard to get lost when you have a bird's eye view of your surroundings.
People are complicated. Relationships doubly so. They're not something to rush into without a good understanding of what you're rushing into; what does it look like in the long-term? How strong is his faith? How well do you know him personally? If you're unsure about the answer to any of those questions, you might need to step back and assess the situation for a while.
Thanks for those questions. I will definitely take a bit to think on those and do some more looking at the situation along with praying, reading, and listening to.
The one thing that stuck with me in your post is that his divorce was still in the finalization process. He was still married. God will never set you up with someone that is still married, I can guarantee that.
I don't know what the future holds with this guy - but be wary. Be very, very wary.
Yea, i know its been a year and i'm not sure where its at right now. Haven't really talked about that since we talked recently. Thanks for the response!
I agree with Lynn! Be very cautious and in fact just move on. He did not have the character nor integrity to tell you he was divorced until you got affectionate. That is just plain wrong. He should have told you way in advance. i think it's always important for a Christian woman to be with a Christian man who is mature in his faith. How else can he be a good leader? Just my two cents.
Well, he did tell me he had 2 kids and I kind of figured he was divorced from things, hints, etc... It wasn't until we had done a lot of hanging out and getting to know eachother that he told me it was in the finalizing process. That was like a year ago he told me.
Since when I posted this though I did find a very important clear message that we were to be just friends. I woke up one morning actually to him sending me an IM. I said something to him and realized that I shouldn't be trying anything or moving anywhere with it. So, I put him in his place (that we are suppose to be just friends).
