I'm 28 years old and a single mom. I'm having the HARDEST time finding someone who is ready or willing to have a relationship with. And what's worse, I have had the hardest time on THIS SITE!
I've heard it all, I'm too old, too young, divorced, I have a child, I'm looking for a "baby daddy", not christian enough, too far away...
Mostly this is a rant, but maybe there could be advice given...
What is it that just makes guys not take a second look at someone when they see "Divorced"? I'm not going to lie and say I'm single, I'm not ashamed of anything I've done. I've moved on w/my life and am ready to begin again.
I keep being told "be patient" but that is the HARDEST thing to hear when the people who say it have what they have been asking for...
I'm aware that I am blessed by his Grace. I'm aware that I am one of his children... and I'm very aware how spoiled I sound... but what is it that they aren't seeing in my profile that I could show? and is that the biggest issue?
My friendly advice is to get all new photos. I would take them in different nature scenes. And wear laid back, then fun and brightly colored, then fancy clothes. And smile smile smile. You are the daughter of the King and very valuable, so show some Light, hope and joy. I would lose the glasses in most of the pics, because when you remarry, you will not have them on when you are most intimate.
Guys like to see lots of photos. Try to do 6+. And play 'model' where you show a range of emotion: playful, joyful, surprised, gleeful, at peace, in love!
Also put more of you in the things you like doing, add emotional phrasing.
So... what you are basically telling this gorgeous young woman is to "bimbo-up"? "Men only react to shiny baubles"? Good lord! This beauty has brains! Did you read her profile? She also has a tremendous heart! I think it must be so--Men are from Mars!
When someone asks for useful info, I like to give them exactly that. I did not intend to degrade in any way. Even Ladys here have mentioned on their profiles that they will only respond to someone with clear photos and a completed profile (and they said it directly and to the point i.e. a bit harshly in my opinion).
From a guy's point of view, she should take my useful advice. It won't take much of her time.
Regarding photos... it does not matter what you think of yourself, it matters that someone out there WILL find you attractive if you put photos up--- and if you take the time to have them in a nice setting--- most guys will like that a lot. (just like they like it when you get ready for a date with attention to the details).
I must say I have to agree mostly with dsterna. I don't think he was by any means telling you to "bimbo up". It is true that the heart of the man should be captured by a woman of God's internal beauty and love, but a man is a man, and a man's eye is usually the first thing you catch.
You are a beautiful woman. However, some of your pics are dark and only one shows you smiling (and in that one there is a glare that blocks your eyes). It's not about being all "dolled up". Just try some pics that show your inner light shining out through your eyes and your smile.
As far as being "divorced" or a "single mom", I don't think that's such a big issue. Many guys on here are in the same place. Besides, if a man won't accept you as you are or accept your children, then he is not the man for you. I, too, will reluctantly tell you to be patient. This is coming from someone who is a single mom, never married, alone for most of the past 15 years, and battles impatience all the time, but if you allow impatience to rule, you may settle for less than God's best for you. As I'm sure you would agree, I desire to be with an awesome man of God who will make me happy, but I would rather be alone than with someone who makes me miserable. Hang in there and seek God in every choice you make. :)
