In response to the title of this section of the forums. The answer is foundation. You can not have a solid foundation if you are pulling in separate directions.
Now I'm not saying you need to marry a Christian, I'm just saying one should seek out someone who would be a good father (shepherd) even if neither of you are planning on, or can have children. Likewise a man should seek out a woman who would be a good mother. If these qualities are missing in a person, then they will more than likely be lacking in compassion, forgiveness, wisdom, understanding, humbleness, humility, and more than that, the ability to take a stand when they need to.
You can find these traits in anyone who is sincere in their love and fear of God...
...The Absolute, that Great Mystery that has blessed us with life and free choice!
Personally I find my self relating more to Buddhist women than Christian, for the fact that many Christian women seem pre-occupied with shopping, tell-lie-vision, fashion, gossip, and of course theological philosophy rather than re-enforceing their spiritual armor, and sharpening their mental swords as they walk in the valley of shadows and death.
Whilst the Buddhist perspective deals directly with the human condition, whilst cutting off superstition and those theological arguments that no one can prove either way. All one can know is the Love and Salvation that comes through God's grace, and our submission to His Laws.
Granted, neither is better than the other, it's personal after all, and we all back slide, and stray from the path in one form or another, but when we are sincere, we always come right back, and that's what's required to keep a relationship working.
From your rather exhaustive posts, it doesn't seem to me that you're after a reasoned debate either, but rather seem intent on educating us all with your wisdom - perish the thought that someone might disagree with you.
Can I also suggest that you're really in the wrong place?
You're right that fear and hate will get us nowhere, but then neither will directionless proselytizing.
