About a year ago, I started communicating with a woman from Costa Rica. I knew that this would be difficult moving forward, but she was such a remarkable person that nothing seemed able to get in our way. After obtaining my Visa, I was able to visit her after 5 months of communication through e-mails and Skype. I spent 10 days with her, and they were the best 10 days of my life. When the day came for me to leave, I gave her my regards and we said our goodbyes. I had the feeling that this was just the first chapter in a thrilling novel...
She was likewise attracted to me. We shared all sorts of adventures together, and I eagerly awaited the day when she'd be able to come to the States to spend some time with me. Eventually, we came to realize that the process for her Visa would take much longer than mine. Originally, we had planned for her to come up for my birthday in July; this was then pushed back to this January. Despite all the difficulties, we still shared a sense of optimism that this would work out. She gave me her promise that she wouldn't make any kind of definitive judgement about our relationship until she had spent time with me in my hometown.
Thankful for her patience, I became optimisitic about what the future had in store for us. The fact that our relationship had only gotten stronger despite spending months apart was remarkable in my eyes. Roughly 2 months ago, she re-iterated just how much she loved me, and how -- more than ever -- she realized how much she wanted me in her life. I couldn't wait for her to come up and experience New England weather and culture; she had never been out of her country before, and therefore had never seen the snow. Armed with her promise and love, I became more excited than ever.
One week after telling me how she loved me more than ever, I noticed she had stopped communication, so I sent her a friendly e-mail. She told me she needed some time off. When I talked to her on Skype later on that night, she tearfully told me I should start thinking about seeing other women, just to compare them to her and to broaden my experience. I was dumbstruck. I told her I would never think about doing such a thing, but since she told me to do so I felt obligated to allow her to do the same. She told me to pray for her, and that she felt Satan tempting her. I told her she could take as much time off as she needed, whether it was a day or a week or more. She said it certainly wouldn't be a week, and probably a couple of days.
10 days passed, and each day I stayed up late awaiting any updates. She updated her status on her hotmail, talking about "exciting new things" and other obscure statements followed by smiley faces. I found it odd that she had time to do this, but not enough time to send me a token quick e-mail about her situation. I was crushed and felt that my loyalty was being taken for granted. Finally, I sent her an e-mail asking her what was going on. She responded, telling me that our relatioship was now over, that she was seeing someone else, and that I needed to let it go. I had never felt so betrayed, shocked, angry, or hurt. I asked her what happened to her promise, and said she wanted to find marriage soon and that our distance prevented that from happening fast enough. I told her she was going back on her word. As of right now, I haven't heard from her in 3 weeks. She no longer goes on Skype, I've been removed from her hotmail list, and she hasn't visited facebook since. It's still hard for me to believe this is still happening, so I just felt like it would be a good release to write all this down.
When that right time comes and you meet the right girl for you.. You will thank God that He has control on everything. God has purposes why it's happened. If you and her are not meant to be for each other then just pray for her that she would find true happiness in her life.. and you must move on.
Long distance is one of the hardest things to be in when it comes to love. It just recently happened to me and we were going to get married this year 10-10-10. But I was having my doubts and I had to ask God to show me what I needed to see. It was very hurtful what the outcome was. But I know deep down that God was protecting me and my daughter. And God will do that for all of us when we seek Him. God is our guidance and our shield and He will protect us from any harm.
I know it hurt and God will help you through this hurt. Keep your head up and read God's word and pray. If you need to get counsel from your church then ask God to guide you to the right person to trust. From my hurt that is what God did and I have had a lot of encouragement. Breaking relationships are never easy. They hurt!!! But I know God has a special someone who is better than the one who broke your heart. I know God has someone in store fro me but it's His plan not mine.
I would like to thank each and every one of the terrific people who posted in this thread (and those outside who e-mailed me their support). GREAT stuff and a true indication of what it means to be supportive.
I'm moving on. She and I have communicated since then, but I can't continue to dwell on it. You can't pay attention to what's in front of you if you're always looking in the rear-view mirror.
I'll admit, it was extremely difficult that she timed it the way she did. Going through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve was a brutal stretch, but I'm still standing and that's what it's all about! God Bless all of you!
