I'm new to this site and thought I'd join in on some discussions.
I have a fear of being abandoned because I was almost kidnapped in 2nd grade. So, for me, I'm afraid that I'll be abandoned. I'm not scared to get married because of it, but it is in the back of my mind at times.
God bless you 'spachurchgirl' & 'Andi Rae'. I whole heartedly appreciate the input on the fears of marriage you guys gave me. By HIS power & grace, may these fears shrink to insignificance.
For me a lot of it is to do with individualism; I don't know how we can have marriages that work in an individualistic society, that puts short term personal goals ahead of work, which is what a marriage is,work.
So for me I fear marriage because I fear we are too individualistic to make it work.
I have experience of this; I was engaged,but my fiance found the short term pleasure of drugs more attractive than committing to working on our realtionship; that resonates with other experiences where INDIVIDUALS have escaped from realtionships rather than work on them when the intial glow fades for them.
My fear about marriage is that so many people in our scoeity won't have what it takes so it will never happen to me.
Interesting post I must added and that is a common question people on a day to day basis ask why do I fear Marriage and I can tell you this that for me I am tried not to fear it and enjoy what The Lord has for me today and not worry about what Happens for tomorrow...Joyce Meyers talks about that a lot in her Ministry and we get caught up in The Who And The What About Life!!! I think for me it all about Trusting Jesus that he will provide me with The Best Life Parnte Of Them All!!! My Dad and I were talking a couple of days ago and it true what he says that if a person doesn't have Character when you date them and Marry them then nothing is going to change them;That why people do change when they get Married and aren't stablize in their realtionship with The Opposite Sex or People In General because their was no character from them from The Begining and that is why they can Flip Flop so easily because it was never in Their Heart To Begin With To Be A Loving And Caring Person it was just for The Time Being..."I Think I will Call Consistence" Then once a person sees "Consistence" then most likely you got yourself a Winner!!!
P.S Where did you get that story from about The Man not
You want reasons, not views. I look forward to getting married, but I am also afraid of it. I want the benefits of marriage, but not necessarily the committment. I see my parents, and how they struggle just through the plain old boring things of life. I want so much more for my life, and I get scared when I think that my life might end up plain and mediocre.
I have a young woman in mind that I think that I would like to marry. But I want to wait until I am more ready to take care of her. I struggle with a good deal of sin right now, and while I know that i will always struggle with sin, I would like to take care of at least some of it before I go to marriage.
Well you can be nerveous but you are still young and at 19 it really hard to picture what Married Life would be to The Same Person! At 19 it really a special time in your life to develop The Gifts God Has For You!!! To Increase In His Love And Joy And Allow The Precious HolySpirit To Fill Your Cup So To Speak!!! You know when The Time Is Right To Allow That Special Young Lady In Your Life!!! If you start out to earlier and you feel your not ready you might be unahappy and your girl so to speak might feel it too!!! Don't get to serious and enjoy life and you will be just fine!!!
To clarify, this thread I thought was supposed to be about why people hold fears about marriage in our society. I definitely want to get married, if God has a future wife for me out there to have a family with, and I will wait for her, but that does not mean that sometimes my faith is not tested by what I see out there in my past life and ministry.
*I have not had an example of a good, Christian marriage even though I grew up in the church (parent's, grandparents still married, but not happily -- not wanting to get divorced-- it's depressing to see).
*I fear that once married, mine and my husband's life values or Christian convictions may clash as we grow and change over time. This can especially be a problem if we are raising kids.
*I feel like there are certain things I'd like to get straightened out before I can devote the time I'd like to devote to a serious relationship, much less marriage.
*I especially fear "missionary dating" (dating some who isn't a Christian before the relationship began) because it backfired in my last and only serious relationship. I don't plan to ever do that again.
*I know too many people my age between 23-26 (Christian and non) who are already divorced or having serious marital problems (which will probably end in divorce).
* I don't want to settle just to be married. I want to wait until I have no doubt in my mind that a particular guy is the guy for me.
