So, as of late I have been struggling in an ongoing relationship with a guy that has been pulling me around on a short chain for the past ten months. He has two children, smokes pot on a near daily basis, and drinks until he can barely remember his name. Now, I know what most of you muct be thinking: Why would you bother with someone like this? I bothered, because I am a strong believer in the ability of a person to change. I have seen it done many times in the past (I've even seen such works being done inside of myself). Believing as I did, I had allowed myself to be put through his mental abuse, as well as the constant pain on numerous breakups and promises that always fell though.
He would end things with me after a month, saying he needed to get things together in his life. Then, a few weeks later, he'd take me back, knowing I was weak and sick with love. Then, he would leave me again, having the nerve to ask that I wait for him. All in the mean time talking to, and possibly having sexual relations, with other women. It was a long and heartbreaking process that I allowed myself to endure, but I can honestly say that I do not regret a moment of it.
Though he had put me through numerous amounts of heartache and pain, I am still thankful that I had met him, and I do not regret a single day of loving him. In all honesty, he really is a great person. He's just a little lost in life at the moment. Being through the turmoil that we've been through has taught me how to be a better person. I've learned to spot ways how I, myself, can be mean and hateful to an individual, using them for my own personal gain without even meaning to. Being through this has shaped me into a better person, and it is an epiphany that I give God full credit for. I hope that sharing this story can help some of you suffering through the same thing realize that YES, there IS a light at the end of that very dark and very long tunnel :)
It would be wonderful if you keep this "lesson" close to your Heart. Not the pain, but the Lesson Learned. This is all part of shaping who you are. Some people never learn this lesson. You cannot change other people...they are the only ones that can do that. You can only be there for them, if they need you.
You still have much to learn. The best "shortcut" and the least painful and the least damaging is to Learn from older people. All of us have gone through many of life's lessons and we can share what we learned with others.
Find some older person that you trust (parents..aunt or uncle or pastor) and let them be your Mentor...your Spiritual Counselor.
This Forum is also an excellent place to hear and perhaps learn.
i am Mai from the Philippines, as i was reading your story i can't help but admire you because of your bravery to stand beside him no matter what. But sad to say, Steve is right, only he can change himself and we cannot do something about it. I admire you because you know what love means, its depth and true meaning. You are a strong woman.
You should never enter a relationship and think you are going to change someone, be very careful that you don't let such behavior become a pattern. Mixing dating and messiah complex together equals disaster.
Hi Paige! Ironically, my name is Paige.Your name is what actually caught my attention. Anyway, you must look at your situation throught the eyes of God. Yes, Jesus is a God of love but love can sometimes be hard. God loves all of us. And he wants all of us to be saved, but he also knows that some will not CHOOSE the right path back to him. God will at times withdraw himself in order to draw us closer to him.
Secondly, as a friend, and fellow believer of Christ I must tell you that God blessings will make you rich and it will not add any sorrow. The challenge is while you are waiting for him, God can place you with someone who is already prepared for the life you seek. Don't rely on Mankind. Because you could be waiting on someone who will never change. You must count the cost. God is able to work it out, but he has to allow Jesus into his heart to save and deliver him. Love is more than you think.Love patient, kind and it worketh no ill to its neighbor. Pray and seek God's face for help, strength and guidance.
