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Past Sins Not Forgotten- Not Forgiven???Posted : 29 Nov, 2008 01:13 AMHow many times shall I bang my head against the wall? Until it hurts so much I collapse, or my tears have drown me? How many old scars will continue to re-surface? As many as I allow? How long will I punish myself? Until the pain destroys? This is becoming old, again, and fast. .. I am tired...... of this. Each time an old thought presents itself, it feels like the cut is so deep, deep as the first time it wounded me. Why is it then, I ask myself? Why do I feel the need to emotionally re-injurie myself by thinking that in some strange way, I deserve this? Do I feel I am not capable of love or worthy of anyone loving me? Do I feel I am unforgiveable, unloveable? Do I display my shame and almost with pride, that I frighten goodness away and welcome spiritual destruction? Do I tell myself I am not worthy so often, I begin to believe it myself? Am I worthless? Do I dare leave myself so open? So much so, that it is easy work for the devil? I know I am worthy. I thank God at this very moment, this very second as I speak these words, I hear myself , I feel God's presence inside of me." Ask and ye shall receive". I am being filled with "His" love and strength as I write this. I, am capable of confronting my demons and bringing them to the "Father" to handle. He stands with me and for me.. "His" strength, "His" forgiveness, "His" patience, "His" understanding. I give ""Him", all glory and honour. Most importantly, I thank "Him" for "His" love and protection and tollerance of me and for never, ever letting me go. In return, I give my life to you, " Father". Such gratitude to you, that never, not once, did "You" ever hand me over to the enemy out of exhaustion, or turn "Your" back on me, out of disgust. Can any one of us say the same? I steer my thoughts and my visons away from negative forces. I surround myself with Chrisitians, with God, and I fill my thoughts with " His" word, not mine, always, to be done! God bless! M |
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Past Sins Not Forgotten- Not Forgiven???Posted : 2 Dec, 2008 11:08 AMAmen sister. For me, I find that when I allow the enemy (and to be sure it is!) room to bring up the past sins in my life, I and I mean I start to believe his lies about my worthiness. All I can tell you is that they are all lies lies lies. |
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Past Sins Not Forgotten- Not Forgiven???Posted : 2 Dec, 2008 08:51 PMHello to the music man. Hi my friend in Christ and thank you for your kind words and prayer. We can never have enough of either. You will be in my prayers of gratitude and thanks as well. Sincerely, M |
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lionelo
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Past Sins Not Forgotten- Not Forgiven???Posted : 4 Dec, 2008 09:45 PMSis, |
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Past Sins Not Forgotten- Not Forgiven???Posted : 4 Dec, 2008 11:02 PMRichie. First and foremost, thank you in "Jesus" name for being a warm and kind Christian to take the time to give my forum letter, any time or thought. I also thank you for your kind words or encouragement and reason to continue my fight of course, against the enemy. I will say a prayer in gratitude and love for you. I am glad you are on my side and my brother is Christ. God bless you always, M |