Must be 44-59 years old and at least 5'9" for I am a tall woman! And above all he must be Spirit Filled and on Fire for the Lord, walks the walk, talks the talk, and Lives the Path. It would be Great if he had an appreciation for All Christian Music as I do, but that is optional, but a true hunger for the Word must be there.
My second worst date was my one and only blind date, set up by (of all people) my sister. I was much younger then, around 20 I believe and my date was this hispanic gentleman that was probably around 15 years older than I was, which at twenty was quite a stretch. To this day I prefer maybe 5 years younger to 10 years older. His hygiene was less then desirable to say the least.
It was a double date and her date was a hottie, and it really didn't help that they were making out in the back seat a good share of the time.
We went to the circus. The date was not ultimately horrible however until after the circus was over and were headed back to my sister's place and we were on the freeway and he changed lanes without looking. You guessed it, right into another car. Took about two and a half hours for the police to show up to take a report.
Since that time, I have never allowed my sister to set me up with anyone.
Wait, I did have another blind date about six months later. He stood me up. He didn't get another shot either.
Like I say, sometimes you laugh so you don't scream! lol But in their defense, I am sure they both had teeth!
What do you do when they play the "Christian" card on you?
Posted : 6 Oct, 2009 08:54 PM
I have been a saved Christian for a long time now, and truly understand that I would never want to be yoked with someone that is not of like mind on their faith with me.
I am all about forgiveness, but forgiveness does not necessarily mean I want to be yoked with someone that behaves badly.
My last two dating experiences, both gentlemen knew I was a saved Christian. The first one claimed also to be one, but his heart was truly hard toward his ex-wife and children. I understand that divorce is ugly and that is why Our God hates it so much, it is such a hurtful thing, which is why we need to look toward forgiveness. When I said as much, in a tactful way, he got really ugly with me in a "You women are all alike..." kind of way. Well when I decided this was not what I would like to have in a future husband, he plays the Christian Card on me...."Well I thought you were suppose to be such a Good Christian woman...."
The other guy was aware I was a Christian and he had fallen from faith when his wife passed away. He liked it that I was a Christian, and wanted to go to church with me. Our first and only date went very well, we met for coffee, went to church, and spent the day at Falls Park and taking the Sculpture Walk. He told me he had a great time, and I had a good time too. We decided to do it again in two weeks.
We talked a couple times on the phone, the last conversation he asked me for a confirmation for Sunday and I said you bet, and didn't hear from him again for the better part of a week, so Saturday night I called to confirm that we were still on for Church, and he never returned my phone call.
He did not show up for church. My computer was down for nearly a week, but then I emailed him and asked if everything was okay, and he emails back that I was always too busy to talk (I'm renovating my house, yeah, I'm busy, but I always took his calls).
I decided I really didn't want to get involved with someone that would have such a blatant disregard for me as to stand me up like that and then there was no genuine apology or good reason for it. So I told him I didn't think it would work out and he tells me but we had such a good time when we went out, I really enjoyed out date. ??? Yeah, for real, so I told him that I wasn't interested in seeing someone that would stand me up and not even call to break the date. I told him that I believed if I would not have contacted him via email that he would not have contacted me at all, so what is the point? And he plays the Christian Card on me.
"Will I though you were such a Good Christian, well FU and you F'ing church, you are the reason people hate Christians"
Where does it say that I have to be all forgiving of men who behave badly to the point of continuing to date them? I have no problem forgiving either of them, I just don't want to date them because of the way they acted.
How do those of you out there handle it when you decide you don't want to date someone and the play the Christian Card on you? I rather resent that they would act like being a "Christian of THAT sort" would be a bad thing, like I am some sort of a big judgmental bigot or something which could not be farther from the truth.
I believe that the truth with tact is a good thing, because there is nothing harder than being let down easy. But I don't know what to say to them when they say this. Both men I only dated once and they really don't know anything about me or about my faith. In fact I don't think it was about me either time so much as it was about them, and I think they felt convicted in their hearts.
I swear I may be the Queen of Bad Dates, but you know its true, you have to laugh, if only so you don't scream!
I have several but this one truly takes top honors:
I had been talking to this guy for quite some time online and he was local, and I had already determined that he was not a convict or on parole or anything like that, so I decide to take a shot at this online dating thing.
Now I believe a Sporting event is a great first date because it gives you a chances to see just how much fun your date really is, it is somewhat relaxed, and even if things aren't great, there is always the game.
With this in mind, we decide to meet for dinner and go to a Hockey game (I am a huge Hockey fan, he had never been to one). Well he was late getting off work, so asked if we could meet at KFC instead. Okay, I am not offended by fast food if the company is good, that is what counts.
So we meet and the first thing I notice is that he does not look like his picture. In fact he looks at least 15 years older than his photo, and significantly heavier, I would say at least 75 pounds.
He is my age but looks a lot older, and we order and I am sitting across from him when I notice he has no teeth. None. I cannot see a single tooth in his mouth. Do you know how hard it is to not stare at someone sitting right across the table from you when you notice something like this. I mean, you keep looking to see if you can see a tooth in there at all, but you don't want to stare and make the person uncomfortable. I mean, Men, I am not proud, up until this point I was okay with the photo being a lie, but I swear ya gotta have dentures in there at least. Before leaving KFC, decision is already made that there will be NO Goodnight Kiss.
So we get through dinner and we each drive over to the hockey game. He is expecting blood on ice and ending up on the ten o'clock news etc, and I have to explain that those expectations are not terribly realistic.
We at least have good seats near our goalie, just up from the handicap section and its not very crowded. A sweet old couple sits down one row to the right of us, so they are between us and the other end of the ice. She has obviously had a stroke, but they are out for night on the town and seem to be enjoying themselves, and I love to see that.
The hockey game, believe it or not is boring. Hockey is never boring. Our offense it cooking, but our goalie just watches four goals slide right in like "oh my, where did that come from". In the mean time I am finding out all sorts of things about my date that I do not want to know, like he lives in an apartment with a female room mate because it is so affordable, and he only works part time. The reason he only works part time is because his psych meds do not allow him to work full time. Wow.
So we are finally in the third period and garsh darn if we can't just lose the game and go home, but no, they have to tie it up and we go into a fourth period.
Things heat up down the ice and things get exciting and everyone stands up including the little old man between us and the far ice, except when he stands up, his sweat pants do not. Oh, yeah, FULL MOON MADNESS right there, in your face.
And the fourth period ends and its still tied so we go into shoot out, which is normally a great hockey game, but this game is seriously bad. We lose in shoot out and finally I get to go home.
Needless to say there was no good night kiss, nor were there any future dates with this gentleman.
Gosh Brother, I really hate to say this, but I cannot believe no one else mentioned it, but frankly it sounds to me like maybe she met someone else and didn't have the heart to tell you.
I mean, really, having her Mother post to you? That sounds to me like leaving the door open in case she wants to come back or something. Might not even have her Mother. I wouldn't do that for my daughter. It might have been her pretending to be her Mother.
Truly is unfortunate when people can't just be straight and honest with each other. Sorry this happened to you. Dating is tough.
I tend to keep the same screen name and have a yahoo address by that name as well which I use the way it was mentioned previously.
I really hate to say this, but if the person is not close enough for us to date, I usually only think of them as chat friends. Realistically scammers are not likely to choose someone in the same city they are or area that they are portraying to be from, for you know too much about things locally.
I know this really narrows the pool, but frankly how well can you get to know someone that isn't close enough to get to know, and date?
I find dating to be scary enough with people that are local. So many people today have no values or respect and honesty isn't all that big of deal with so many.
I put all that out there that I am really big on those things and they act all surprised when I kick em to the curb for lying or for treating myself or other people badly.
Dating is tough. Sometimes I think I'm better off single. Know the dating pool will be a whole lot cleaner after the Lord comes and siphons out all the carp!
Ephesians 1 and Predestination! A refutation of Calvinism!
Posted : 6 Oct, 2009 12:34 PM
I think that Calvinism puts God in a box. If you believe as it is written that we were all given free will as a gift from God, than to believe our lives are predestined without a choice is to believe that is a lie.
I prefer to think of God as being the perfect parent and we are all like small children. As a parent you allow your child to make choices, so you grant them a certain amount of free will, yet in the end, do you not know that yes, they will be taking a nap and while they are sleeping you will do certain things you have planned? Despite the choices you give your child, you still know that certain things are going to happen.
Is God not Greater than all that? To believe that our choices as small children will stop or change the Greater Plans of Our Father, the Lord God Almighty, is that not just small thinking? I mean really, lets say that Hitler had not chosen his path. If you look at those around him, there were other that would have taken on his role. God has the ultimate authority and even time cannot stand against His Will. Despite any of our choices, He is God and like any good parent, God can adjust to our choices, our moods, our whims and still accomplish His Greater Plan.
God does not need to manipulate us like satan does. God can work around us and still accomplish His plan. We have a choice about which plan we want to go with. He told us He would give us this choice, and not force Himself on us. God does not lie, nor does He manipulate. He is God and can work around and through all things. It is only the devil that needs to lie and manipulate and keep people thinking that they don't really have a choice, that God has already made a decision about us, and there is nothing we can do.
I do not think I can comprehend just how Big and how Broad the Thoughts, the Hand and the Actions of Our Lord God Almighty really is, so to think that He would have to predestine lives, and manipulate our thoughts or actions, well that is just small thinking that He would need to do such things to accomplish His purpose. He is So Much Bigger than that. Far more capable than anyone who would believe that can imagine.
So don't put God in a Box, for He knows what you will do much the same way you might know what your child will do. He has a fairly good idea because He knows us so well, but just like your child, we will still make our own choices, and He will still be God, He will still be Good and He will still Love us and want us to make good choices so we don't get lost in things of the World that will hurt us.
So let God be God, and let Him be Awesome in your Life because you have a Choice. He gave you Free Will, so make your choices Count!
Cattleman is so right on this for to be yoked with someone who's faith does not balance your own is like trying to serve two masters, which the Lord says you will come to love one and hate the other, so which would you choose, to hate the Lord your God, or your spouse? Neither would be good or desirable.
I cannot imagine being connected to a luke warm Christian for I am trial by Fire and Believe you LIVE IT daily, and WALK IT Always! To allow myself to be yoked with someone of lesser faith would only diminish my ability to serve as I am called to do by my Love for the Lord Jesus Christ my Savior who would do all things for me.
To be with someone that resents how much I chose to contribute of my money or my time or my heart to lift up those in need, well what do you think the disagreements would be about. Then what do you do, follow your heart for Christ or keep peace with your spouse, in my case the man, the head of the house who should be leading the house.
If you do not share the same fire, one will quench the other.
