The bottom line for me in a relationship is this....
I must submit to God first. He keeps the intentions of my heart pure. When I depend upon my flesh.... I am in trouble...lol (haven't we all experienced this?)
There will be times when we do not understand actions of another person (in ANY kind of relationship).
In singleness or in a marriage... we can only be responsible for ourselves... not the other person. We need to do what we feel is righteous and honorable in the eyes of God.
We must use Godly wisdom in all things.... and cease without praying.
Trust.... an interesting word really.
We must first look ourselves in the eye don't you think? We must trust ourselves first... before we can even begin to trust another.
Relationships are fragile... and satan comes to kill, steel, and destroy.
She has not grown up in a christian environment and has not had much of that influence.
I cannot help but believe that this is why God brought us together as friends.... so that he might use me to impart some of the love of Christ into her life. She's a decent woman... and it pains me so to see her struggle in dating (however, it seems we all anguish at times in this area....lol).
For me... it is NOT about "church" attendance... as I did not grow up in church... but I definitely had the influence of a Godly mother who raised me in a christian home. I found a church on my own in adulthood... and the fellowship and congregation of like believers is important (as you pointed out).
I just love her... want the best for her. I want her to at least have some experience with Godly men (I said "Godly" , not "perfect"...lol).
When 2 people are dating EXCLUSIVELY (agreed upon this), when is it appropriate for them to remove their profiles off of dating sites?
If a person (man or woman) is still actively looking on other sites... what does this mean in your opinion?
I realize that this is something in a relationship that 2 people need to communicate about... but it does seem that sometimes a person will not be honest about this. So, I want to know your underlying thoughts on this topic.
This REALLY is a question about a lovely girlfriend of mine. I keep trying to get her to seek a christian man... on a christian site. I know her to be stable, moral, and serious about finding a life long mate. However, she is concerned that because she does not actively attend CHURCH that a christian man would not be attracted to her.
I would like to know what your thoughts are on this.
Believe me, the older you get... some things get better about a person... but on the other hand... there is more of a "past"...etc..
I think it's important to understand that sometimes God brings people together to "compliment" one another...to help eachother "grow" in areas. We must not expect soooo
much from another person... that we do not allow room for growth/ learning "together". Relationships are about
"togetherness"... and sharing experiences...both good and bad... that create the bond.
I think it's important to value yourself... realize your worth in God... have a clear understanding of your boundaries/values.
When you know yourself well... you do develop a "list" if you will.... but... we must always keep our hearts open to
receiving... and knowing that God has things in our own selves to work out (and sometimes he uses other people to help achieve that). We ALL fall short of the glory.
I think the online dating can be too much like a "convenience store"... stop in ... see if you like something... read the labels... hmmm... "too much sugar", "too much spice"... "whoa! wayyyy too much vinegar"... LOL.
Problem is ... for some of us in smaller communities etc... this is the only way.
KNOW YOURSELF..BE FOCUSED.. BUT WILLING TO COMPROMISE ON THE 'LITTLE' THINGS ON YOUR LIST.
DON'T LET 'JUNK' INTO YOUR SACRED LIFE... BUT ....
DON'T PRE-JUDGE EITHER... LET GOD GUIDE YOUR HEART
Sorry... I have so much to say about LOVE... one of my favorite subjects!... lol.
L= Letting go of self
O= Offering ones self
V= Valuing the other person
E= Encouraging one another
Road to healthy Love: 1)Love God 2)Receive God's love (learn how to love yourself)... and then ... you can extend true, intimate love... and be able to receive it.
We all want unconditional love.. but human love has limits. God's love does not! We focus on the flesh..(outward appearance.. feelings..etc..) God's word teaches us how to love and tells us what love is supposed to look like. Corrinthians
:angel: God spoke to me one day when I was feeling particularly unworthy and needing some LOVE...lol. He said.. look into the mirror..stare into your own eyes... that's what I see.. that's what I love... THE SOUL. Think about this and let it penetrate your heart...WOW!
We are NOT PHYSICAL BODIES WITH SOULS.. but rather ... SOULS WITH PHYSICAL BODIES. (temporary at that).
No wonder we struggle with LOVE! We are living in the "flesh"... a "temporary" state of existence. Yet because we are SOULS... we ultimately are seeking a deeper kind of love which will never be fulfilled completely in the flesh.
Heavenly Father... I pray, in your divine mercy and grace, you teach us all how to love... ourselves.... as well as others. In Jesus' name.. Amen.
May you all have a truly blessed day... and GET YA SOME LOVE! (look in the mirror) :hearts:
Hmmmm... so many kinds of love really. There is agape love... as christians... that we should extend to others. Christ-like love for mankind.
In romantic love... there are stages for sure. As in relationships in general... there are stages. I agree with the other comment... LOVE is a choice. You make a choice to continue in love(committment) .... even when it gets rough. I think for me.. I know I am "IN LOVE".. when I feel that I WOULD GO THROUGH HECK AND BACK FOR THAT PERSON. My sense of committment is so strong... I "believe" in that person...in their value. Problem is... sometimes we can believe in someone MORE than they believe in themselves. (But... is that not what Christ was all about?)
In the later stages of a relationship... the "not so admirable" qualities may come out about a person. As christians.. who desire and need to continue walking close to God... we have to be careful... that we do not stray from our Heavenly Father. We ALL fall short of the glory... we ALL sin.
It breaks my heart so ..to love someone but hate their sin. They take it as rejection.. when in fact..
I feel you are loving them DEEPLY because you know that God wants to set them free so they can experience true intimacy.. the deepest of love. YOU ARE LOVING THEM FAR MORE THAN THEY REALIZE!
I have NOT been in your shoes... but I am older... been out in this world for awhile... LOL. :goofball:
I agree with Babygirl... we ALL fall short of the glory of God... that's why we need Jesus! You are just being transparent about your sin... the men you meet may not be aware or honest about theirs. Don't waste your precious years of life in guilt/shame or questioning your worth! I can say from experience... I've done that and look back and am sorry I did that!
There is no condemnation... period... that's what the word says. I have spent many years... alone and hibernating... thinking that if God wanted me to have a mate... he would drop him on my doorstep (out in the country)... LOL!
I do feel you need to be responsible. By that I mean... make sure you have dealt with the feelings you have for your baby's dad and have received some emotional healing... found forgiveness for him... AND yourself. It would not be fair... to the potential young man who might enter your life!
And remember... you don't need ALL the men out here to be ok with your situation. God will open the heart of the man if he wants him in your life.
If I may offer advice from an "older" sister... who is crazy in love with Jesus.... be happy and make a good life for yourself and your child. Happy/ healthy attracts happy/healthy. Seek first the Kingdom of God... pray for his discernment... for the desires of your heart to align with his will.
Singleness can be lonely... humans were created to want companionship. Don't beat yourself up for wanting human connection! I spent a few years alone... and it was good for me. That's when I truly fell "in love" with Jesus. I allowed myself to heal, learn, and grow in spiritual maturity. Everyone's situation is different. Just be careful... scripture says to protect your heart with diligence. Remember... you don't need ALL the men to accept/understand your situation.. just the one that God will have prepared a heart for YOU!
Your transparency and testimony can be greatly used by God!
Luv Your Sister in Christ! :angel:
(p.s. my brother... (many yrs ago) married his wife knowing she was pregnant with another man's child. He raised the daughter as his own. They have been married 40+ yrs).
