And can I just add, that it is really disappointing how many people espouse Christianity, say they want a Godly man, then are outright ride, callous, and judgemental.
Can you believe it, I generally get more politeness from non-Christians. Along the lines of "Hi, thanks for the smile, I'm not really all that religious so I don't know if I'm what you're looking for."
Christians should also understand that you are actually being fundamentally dishonest and deceitful, if you maintain an active profile on a dating site, but have no interest in replying to anyone.
I can't think of another way to phrase it, I'm not suggesting compromise, mediocrity, or luke-warmness.
But I just seem to keep meeting Christian Women on the extremes. (Maybe that is the reason they are still single?)
They seem to fall into one of three categories:
1) They're Christian, and frequenting Christian Dating, but they really don't give a rats whether I'm a Christian or not. Far more important that a man is good looking, successful, wants to travel, eats at fancy restaurants, and is the right age.
For me, its not just top of the list, its all on its own on a list of one. If a women is not a committed Christian with strong Christian values then I don't even look further.
2) Their life is set in stone, and they have carved out a tiny man-shaped niche, into which they believe God will miraculously drop their perfect husband.
Logically, I don't understand why they are involved in Christian Dating???
3) They're still in the phase of "I'm gonna go to Bible College to learn everything about Christianity, and become a Missionary, and a Pastor, and an Evangelist, and a Prophet, and start my own church, and I must have a husband who's gonna do that also.
Don't get me wrong, Zeal is a good thing, and I've done more than my fair share of Bible-Bashing. But I've also seen the harm done by "sending forth" 19yr old goobers armed with nothing but two years of Bible College and arrogance.
Is it possible to find somebody who values my faith, but wants to get to know ME? And doesn't expect me to be Paul the Apostle?
Because many Christians aren't schooled in this, it doesn't seem to be a popular sermon topic.
And some young women have their priorities all wrong,
their heads are easily turned,
and like women everywhere they expect men to change.
There was a younger lady at church, mid 30's now. Pretty, but overly bleached and made-up, somewhat vain and focused on appearances and other superficial things. As a younger lady she was taken in by the charms of a young hunk who professed Christianity to be with her, and they were married. After years of misery and abuse, and him coming & going from the marriage, he finally left her and their young kids permanently.
After getting her life back on track, recommitting herself to Jesus, and getting settled in church. She dumped and broke the heart of a good bloke at church because he was not fun enough, and went right back to dating non-believers. Apparently on the assumption that if she was able to drag them along to church a couple of times, that was somehow good enough.
And where was the church leadership in all this? Completely silent. (Just one of many reasons I nolonger attend that church.)
I have joined a few Christian Singles groups and events, and I am staggered at the number of Christian women happy to date somebody they met at work, or at a party, etc.
And the excuses they have!
It's as though being Christian is about 10th on their lists of must haves.
"if they won't talk to you on the phone or video chat within 2 days then they are fakes" etc
and I'm here to tell you that it's really bad advice.
Yes, there are scammers who simply steal photos to use, so a video chat will sort that out.
But the really professional scammers use actual men and women. Plus there is also the problem that person you're talking to may in fact be real, not a scammer as such, but just a dirt-bag, or nut-job.
And on the other side some genuine people (like myself) get so accustomed to the slow pace of online dating, that the idea of suddenly talking to a person can be a little scary. I haven't dated for 30 years, so getting back on the horse is a slow process.
but either way I wouldn't grill him over it. Nothing good will come of that. If he's lost interest, then it won't win him back. And if there isn't a problem, then being badgered could create one. There's just no upside.
I'm not going to tell you how to run your relationship, but I'll just ask are you doing everything possible to show him that you're interested.??
Remember that fear of rejection can become self-fulfilling.
What do Women look for in What a Man is looking for?
Posted : 11 Nov, 2018 09:40 PM
Does the questions make sense?
When you read a man's profile, or introduction, under "I'm Looking for..." do you find it to be incomprehensible? Gibberish? Conveying no usable information?
I ask because that is often how I feel when I read a woman's.
(On eH, using the whatif feature, I get one chance to make a snap decision, with limited information.)
So what TYPE of things should a man mention? How should he express himself in that space?
NB: I'm not asking for specific suggestions to make me more attractive, I'm not interested in lying.
Maybe give some examples of things that to women make no sense, or tell you nothing.
I think one of the problems is that men (or at least I) are far too literal.
I have been a Christian all of my adult life. As I have gotten older, and observed more, I have started reevaluating some of the Church Doctrines pushed upon us.
For starters I know a lot of dears sisters who took the view "I will put God first, and when his time is right, he will give me the perfect husband." Those sister are now older, alone, bitter, and broken. Not once have I seen God miraculously deliver a husband.
Like some, I wish Christianity delivered us a perfect life, but it just doesn't, and I see no evidence God ever promised that. To me the difference is that we have our faith and our personal Saviour to accompany and guide us through life.
Even now, on this dating site, I see a lot of ladies explaining how they want to put God first and serve him, and I wonder what message they are trying to convey in match-making context?
My Christianity is fundamental to who I am and is something I would never compromise. So I certainly respect that in others. But if I believed God was going to miraculously drop a new wife in my lap, i wouldn't be here.
What do you think about "Winks", "Smiles", "Flirts", etc
Posted : 8 Nov, 2018 09:40 PM
I'm still new at this.
My thoughts have been that eligible ladies get inundated with enquiries, and that it would be very forward of me to just start out sending messages to ladies who may have absolutely no interest in me.
So I have taken the view that sending a wink or a smile (eH) was a good way to break the ice? If a lady is even slightly interested, she can wink back, and we can take it from there...
