I'm still pretty new at this, but it's not encouraging.
I thought long and hard before trying online dating. I signed up for eHarmony because it seemed less trashy than the rest, then found this place and also signed up here.
Starting to feel the whole thing is just a colossal waste of time.
In so far as I can see whether messages have been read or ladies have view my profile, it seems the vast majority are completely inactive. Either that or simply downright rude. I get that even women are exposed to scammers, and yes even on a Christian Site, but if you're just going to ignore every approach, then why bother?
I'm wondering why women lie about the age and/or post photos that are 10 years old?
This isn't a whinge. I'd like to know if this is simply outright deceit? OR,
Do women not see it that way? OR
Is it some kind of test? ie are they trying to see if the man is hung up on age or physical appearance?
I like a face with character, and for me it is all about the SMILE, and whether it reaches the eyes.
For me I find this behaviour to be off-putting, as it is weird, and I can't see it ever ending well, so why do it? Which makes me wonder if its a test of some kind?
I'm wondering why women lie about the age and/or post photos that are 10 years old?
This isn't a whinge. I'd like to know if this is simply outright deceit? OR,
Do women not see it that way? OR
Is it some kind of test? ie are they trying to see if the man is hung up on age or physical appearance?
I like a face with character, and for me it is all about the SMILE, and whether it reaches the eyes.
For me I find this behaviour to be off-putting, as it is weird, and I can't see it ever ending well, so why do it? Which makes me wonder if its a test of some kind?
Not sure I really understanding the question? Are you saying they want to date without the prospect of marriage?
Or is it simply the age gap issue?
Nothing in life is perfect, even as Christians only Christ himself is perfect. At best you can hope to find other pieces of the jigsaw that fit with yours.
Personally, age-difference is one of the last things I�d be getting hung up on, as there are a lot of other important considerations.
And at the end of the day, if that doesn�t work for you, and you prefer to look for only men closer to your own age, then all good. Hopefully we all find somebody who is right for us.
You mentioned young children, and I can say that given the choice, most men would definitely prefer that.
Ultimately it may not be a choice we get to make, but if an Angel of God appeared to man and gave him the choice between a �perfect match� with young children, or one with teenagers, he�ll choose young kids every time.
There�s also a fundamental issue with men of my generation in that we are conditioned to want to feel needed.
So again, with all other things equal, given a choice between somebody who is still a mother with young kids, potentially looking for a husband and father,
OR, somebody who is past all that, living it up, and looking for a companion, a lot of men will make the choice where they feel more needed.
I�ll be honest, because that�s how I am, and you�ve asked for opinions.
It�s difficult at our age to find that special someone, and I come across more than a few people who are basically in a place of saying �I have my life, I like it how it is, nothing is going to change, and any new person needs to fit into that.�
This happens with both men and women, but in some ways more men, and I�m probably somewhat that way myself. As I said, its difficult for people our age.
I don�t know you at all, so I�m not giving an assessment, but on first impressions that is a little how your profile reads. You make it clear that you want somebody in Tulsa, which is fine, but does narrow down your candidates. You�ve also stopped anyone who smokes or drinks from even contacting you. Not only does that narrow down the field, but it seems a little extreme.
As an example, I don�t smoke, and I drink so seldom it hardly matters. So much so, that I would happily give it up completely if it meant finding love. But I would not even be able to contact you.
�Ooh, what could he possibly mean, is he shallow, is he a pervert, or a scammer?�
And meanwhile, ya know what the guy is REALLY thinking? Nothing, Nadda, Zip.
At most, he�s put great thought into this and decided �Hi� isn�t quite enough so he�s thrown in something he hope�s is a compliment.
And he�ll be genuinely puzzled why you haven�t replied, and have to conclude that either you�re inactive or just not attracted to him.
And you know what the real rub is?
What�s the worst it could mean, if it had any meaning at all? If it�s a scammer, then it�s meaningless anyway. At worst, God forbid, it means he actually thinks you�re beautiful.
And the Irony, you fear he may be shallow, or might be guilty of judging on appearances, and you have been far worse, judging him on a single word.
