Maybe it is a little selfish to expect a message.... why? Because of how many profiles are on here are essentially dead, no life to be found there?
Thats exactly what I found when I first arrived here.... I was wasting too much time writing messages that never even got read.
People start of conversations "in the real" world with a smile or hello, if the other person does not reciprocate, there is no need to go further, a WINK is the same thing as a hello or a smile.
Is it wrong to like only one race...or is it racism, preference.. or fetish : ) lol
Posted : 18 Jun, 2014 06:32 AM
Like many people I prefer someone similar to myself not just in faith but in education, personality type and also race..... especially if I were going to have kids because who does not want to look in their child and then grand child and see them self?
Another thought is the risk marriage brings and the farther apart people are in culture, race education etc the more conflict there is "likely to be."
I know of mixed couples who have made it work but stats tell us they are less stable.
Another interesting note is the research done on dating sites. I read an article not long ago which showed most people zero in on their own race and very often have racial preferences. The most likely to seek outside their race were Black males and the least likely were White females or was it Asian females, I forget but if someone is interested let me know and I will dig it up.
Interestingly, not everyone is a winner in the trend to find a mate outside their race.
The two groups which are hit the hardest are Black females and asian males as both of these groups fail to attract suiters outside their race at the rate that they lose potential partners within their race (due to them finding partners outside their race.)
what we can do to stop family separation/divorce as christian family
Posted : 12 Mar, 2014 10:28 AM
I suspect the road to so many divorces is this notion of "soul mates." (Sorry ladies, See the video in my profile)
When we believe in Soul-Mates we believe the person is out there who is the perfect match for us.
In fact we believe this person is ordained by God to be our one and only match and when reality rears it's head we feel we must have "not heard from God".... and married the wrong person.
One of the reasons our parents had marriages which lasted was they had a completely different outlook.... one that I think we in the Church need to restore and that was- Commitment to "THE MARRIAGE" as opposed to commitment to a person.
Perhaps we should restore that Christian idea that your soul mate is the person that you take Vows with and ask God to THEN bind you two together.
Marriage as an institution ..... no longer exists.... it is merely emotion.
IN my humble opinion (and I really mean that) what we have in most cases is "spiritual tourism" where churches put a collection of teens or members together to go to a place with two main purposes.
A. These traveling for short term missions get a new spiritual experience.
B. those hosting them get resources to build.
Common sense would tell you that these places would be ahead of the game if the airfare (and other expense) money was just sent..... they could hire local labor at a fraction of the cost.
I intended to travel independently to one such area in the past and hoped to spend part of my stay helping these ministries out, after trying to contact them, not one even returned my contact request.
This lead me to believe they want you to be involved if you are paying through their program. They are not interested in you arriving by other means to help out for a week or two.
It would seem it is a spiritual-travel agency of sorts.... which I guess is ok as without this business a lot of churches would not be financed and a lot of teens would be limited in there world experience.
If your conversations consist of a list of questions rather than actually talking about a topic, it will grow stale quickly.
Use answers to questions to springboard into a give and take conversation on a topic.
Offer interesting info about yourself, mention your work and WHY you got into it. Talk about some dream you have to one day hike the rocky mountains or what-ever.
At some point steer the conversation toward more personal topics, Does she want to have kids, how many and what kinds of things does she look forward to doing as a mom.
You have to get past surface, predictable conversation.
If you don't have a personality.... fake it :laugh:
When all the heavy spiritual talk is said and done, the truth is, attractive people get more offers.
In our culture and perhaps especially in the church we love to cling to the notion that "it's the inside that counts."
As if the outside is just for shallow people.
Look if you want to put your car, house, or self on the market (so to speak) you should do those things which make the best presentation.... so that you get the best offer.
I guess you can call this fake, phoney, plastic or whatever but this is the way it has worked for countless centuries and if you think about it, their marriages based on this shallowness lasted longer than most of your friends did.
Somethings we can change, somethings we can't: work with what you have and make the most with what you have.
And when that charm and and beauty wins a worthy mate your personality and inner beauty will grow roots that will keep em around even when the outside goes south with age.
