>>Why is it important so much that a man leaves his father inparticular?
I know this is an ask a girl but I wanted to give my understanding on this mater.
I don't think it is the father in particular but collectively their parents. Men are to be head of their respective families as Christ is head of the church. When a man cleaves to his childhood parents, being the leader of his own family can be very difficult.
If you have ever known a "mama's boy" and watched them in a relationship, it becomes clear. The man can find themselves in constant conflict between his parents and his new wife. This can be especially a problem if the man grew up with controlling parents.
I would also like to point out that it does not say to cut contact with them. What men have to realize is that they are no longer a child and have moved into a new stage in life where they are peers with their parents. Parents also have to learn to let go and remember that their children have grown up. This can be an issue for both the father and the mother and their role in their children's life's have changed.
Not to brag but I honestly don't have a problem triggering that "spark" but I rarely move fast enough to satisfy them and fall back to the friend zone...never to return. It gets frustrating as by the time I'm ready to move forward, they've moved on.
Growing up, I had a lot of friends that were in step families and sometimes it was good and sometimes not. I know it's not something I want to jump into blindly.
I also know that my ability to get a date is purely up to me as there isn't a shortage of interested parties...but I don't want to start with romance which is a deal breaker for all of them. I'm understand some of the frustration of single parents and relationships. Single people with no kids want to move way to fast.
If I get back to that point, I want to go for the long term. This means getting to know you first. I guess this is why I consider myself "old fashion" as I don't want to start with romance and hope a friendship develops but rather the other way around, the way I figure it should be.
I appreciate all of your responses. It just seems over the past 5 year, all the girls I've been with "break up" with me ( or put the breaks on ) using one of the following lines ( or variation of them ):
"...your a good friend and I wouldn't want to mess that up"
-or-
" your marriage material and I'm not ready to do that"
Also, nearly 100% of them was to start with pursuing a courting relationship and depending on how it progresses, go one of these two ways with me... and all of them will only date strangers and "never" with a friend.
Is it that I'm just really good a picking women who are more interested in fooling around than getting serious?
It just seems odd to me that this is the "norm" of it and all the guys I know ( with the exception of getting dumped with the "your marriage material" line ) have this same complaint. Maybe its the region I live in...
Even my ex-wife left me because she wanted the freedom to fool around with whomever/whenever and doesn't like having to be accountable (at least that is what she told me) aka, she wants to be single. Her longest relationship since our divorce has been about 3 months with an average closer to a few weeks.
After about 5 years, I'm loosing interest and only passively open to a relationship partially because I'm burned out. I also now have custody of my kids because of her lifestyle and am really nervous about sharing my kids with a stranger... which is why I want to go with the friend route and see if anything develops from there...but once your friends, its a dead end.
It seems that if I don't try to get them in bed by the end of the first week, there is no romantic hope. I can't and wont move that fast...especially when there are kids involved. I want to get to know them before introducing them to my kids. Then see how well they get along with my kids before considering getting serious. For me, this means a few months before perusing more romantic interests... and that seems to be a deal breaker.
Sorry for the bluntness but it is a real point of confusion and I don't know how to soften that subject. It is what it is.
If the longest lasting best marriages there are based on feedback from people who have been married the longest are ones where you marry your best friend... why do so many women want to draw a line between friends and potential romantic relationships?
Personally, at this stage in my life, I don't want a romantic relationship but I know in the future I will want one again. I don't want to have to go mate hunting if I have a dozen female friends that I get along with... Why does it have to be one or the other?
I've met lots of women and they all seem to have this perspective. They say things like, "we have a good friendship and I don't want to loose that..." Or getting turned down for a second date because "your more like a good friend.."
I really don't understand this getting slotted and locked into the "friend" category of relationships. It would seem to me that being friends provides a foundation to build on rather than trying to start a romantic relationship with a stranger.
If you are friends and already basically know each others way of thinking, favorites, etc... why is progressing to a more romantic relationship such a disaster?
I would like to point out that I have head that as an argument to justify a multitude of bad behaviors. Everything form alcoholics to adulterers have used this or some variation of this as a justification so I really don't see this as something unique to homosexuality.
People don't like to admit when they are wrong and hate having it pointed out to them. Many people get very defensive about their lifestyle regardless of it being drugs or sexual preferences. There will be no convincing them verbally how messed up their choices are and how destructive they are to their own lived or to the lives of those around them.
As Christians, they way I think we should approach them is to love them. ( love the sinner, hate the sin ). Don't judge and condemn them, that is Gods job. We should show them a better life through how we live our own lives.
If we live our Christian lives the way Jesus lived his, we will attract others and the only people who will be upset about it are those who loose their power and position among the people...which ultimately ends in persecution... I would rather be persecuted for being/doing right than to go along with what is wrong.
I may have missed it in all the long posts on this topic.
I would like to directly address one of the arguments presented...
I was born this way... or... God made me this way.
One is true, the other is not.
We are all born sinners. We lie, cheat, steal, murder, etc, etc. It is because we are born into a fallen world.
God made Adam perfect and Adam sinned and brought sin to all of us. Sin made us this way, God intended us to be perfect. He so much wants us to be perfect that he sent a second Adam... Jesus the Christ. to pay for our sins so that we can be made perfect once again.
Regarding some other posts... homosexuals fighting to legalize their life style but dont see other sinners doing the same? I do.... What is abortion/Euthanasia? What about the perpetual push to reduce the legal age of consent (I've seen some attempts to push it as low as 15)? The fight to legalize pot? Eminent domain where land/homes are taken and given to private developers? Is there even one of the 10 commandments that is still legally upheld or isn't under attack by modern society?
There are all kinds of sins that have been legalized and people are pushing to legalize, its not just homosexuality.
Personally I use a generic ODBII Bluetooth plug I got on Amazon.com. I then use an app called Torque on my android phone.
Whats neet about this is you can get real-time telemetry as you drive down the road. This has been handy for intermittent check engine light issues since the code that triggered it can't be read once the light goes out.
Having a GPS speedometer alongside the ODBII speed readout is nifty too as you can tell how far off your dial is. ( also real time fuel mileage, etc. )
It sounds like an add for the app but I haven't seen a hand held OBDII scanner that can show all that real time as you drive. And the phone app + bluetooth OBDII adapter together was cheaper than every hand scanner I've looked at.
Elders or pastor SHEPHERDING the flock of GOD,what does the NEW COVENANT say about this
Posted : 20 Mar, 2014 06:31 PM
Gracenotworkssaves... God Bless you. It has been a fun exercise as it has been a wile since I have had the opportunity to stretch by Bible muscles.
>>Have you ever read and studied 1st Corinthians 14:23-34
I would say yes but would like to make a point that this should go all the way to verse 40...
40: "Let all things be done decently and in order"
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I agree with the rest of your comments in your last post.
I will add however that spontaneous worship should be a daily thing. There is a time for studying and meditating and a time to sing and praise. Sunday morning tries to get both in full in just an hour or two and seriously falls short. It does however provide a place and time for those struggling and for the unbelievers to be introduced to the concepts that we should live by every day. Think of it as milk for babies. As we mature, we need to extend our praise and worship beyond Sunday morning and live it daily. As we grow, we need to get more than milk and dig into the scriptures for the real meat.
Unfortunately, many never grow past the milk of Sunday morning and actually make it part of their daily lives.
It has been a complaint of mine for years... that there is not enough life in the church. The whole week is spent in preparation for that two hour session on Sunday morning ( and some include an hour Sunday night and Wednesday night ). What about sharing our lives with each other? I have a difficult time feeling true fellowship with people who are not interested is spending time together outside the church. How do I share my praises and struggles with people who are effectively strangers? What triumph means anything to anybody who doesn't know what I've been struggling with? A pat on the back from a counselor is not the same as a congratulations from a heart felt friend who was there and watched you through your struggles.
Yes, the modern church has its place. It is designed and structured for people new to the faith but servers as little more than that first step... There are very very few who are there to aid with step two or three.
So I will not chastise the modern church structure as they server their purpose. But there really should be more. There should be a social life outside context of the structured church service. That is where most churches fail....and where a lot of your arguments pick up. There needs to be a community. That is what is missing.
( Though I have been to one and wish I could go back... but it's over 1000 miles away... not a place I can go to regularly. I thought it was totally awesome for the pastor to have a football party with open invitation to the church body to come watch the game and worship. Just wow. Social life with fellow believers is hard to come by. )
