Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 20 Aug, 2014 06:09 PM
Blessedmom,
I have 5 ... all from the same mom ... all during faithful marriage, etc.
I know I'm not an attractive match for a single woman who is now ready to start a family. I'm hoping to find someone with both a similar situation to mine and a good match in all those other ways ... lifestyle choices, theology, etc.
But I'm sure I'll get a lot of the same reactions you're getting.
I've done the single-parent drill for as much as 3 1/2 months at a stretch in the past due to previous separations. Now the marriage is over ... kind of ... not enough duct tape to hold it together.
So I guess I'll see first-hand what you're talking about soon enough.
Certainly those do no wrong who marry before God and witnesses without a license.
Nevertheless, I support the state defining and licensing marriage for one reason. Defining and licensing marriage permits the state to exercise some authority over sexual relationships to prosecute predatory behavior. We permit, with parental approval, marriage to otherwise underage people.
We would not permit the same 25-year-old guy having relations with the same 15-year-old girl. Because without that definable marriage, that looks predatory.
So I do support state involvement for that reason.
Those of us who hold strongly enough believe that drinking is a bad idea that we would not want a spouse who drank 1 or 2 on occasion can simply use "Advanced Search" to eliminate those people from our searches.
Just because a man and a woman are both Christians doesn't mean that particular man and woman are good matches. Issues of Christian standards, theology, life goals ... it all comes into being a good match. And on this point, the search makes thinning the results pretty easy.
I think it depends on the man's experience. Before I married the first time, I ruled out marrying someone who had been divorced. Having observed the victims of divorce, I look at it differently. And, being in the midst of one that I saw coming for years but was unable to prevent, I certainly view divorce differently than I did 15 years ago.
The statistics about those who divorce once being more likely to divorce again don't mean what they appear to mean. 1/2 those who divorced the 1st time were the problem-causers. Marrying a problem-causer is a good way to find more problems and, likely, a divorce.
After a few dates, I will want to know why a divorced woman I've started dating is divorced. And I expect she will want to know the same about me.
In my understanding of the Bible, if the divorce was Scripturally permissible, so is remarriage. If the divorce was NOT, then naturally, neither is remarriage.
