Author	Thread: L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!!
LivYourLife View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 9 Aug, 2010 09:23 PM OK, So, I need some Godly wisdom and counsel. I've already questioned the men's opinion, but now I'm asking the ladies... I have been overweight all my life, growing up as a kid, etc. I've always been a big girl. I've tried a slew of diets, and tried Weight Watchers a couple of times. While on Weight Watchers, I was careful not to cheat, and was going to the gym 3-4 times/week, and still could not reach anywhere near goal. I think my only hope is giving up carbs, and sticking to just lean protein like grilled chicken, salmon, sushi, egg whites, and maybe legumes & beans. That in combination with walking daily seems like my only hope at this point. I know other plus-size girls who have had luck finding guys, but it seems like most big girls who are married met their spouse when they were thin(ner). Should I sort of give up on looking for my soulmate, and on the idea of somebody accepting me and loving me as I am, and go on a VLCD, and then try the dating scene? And, then, what if I should happen to gain it back? Or, worse yet, what if I never "get small enough" to be pleasing in a guy's eyes? Post Reply
View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 06:16 PM I think that it is great that you feel that you can ask this question and open yourself up to the various type of answers you may receive! I tend to be somewhat timid and I don't know if I would be able to do this... Healthy eating habits and exercise are always great because then you can work towards a healthy size and weight for yourself - I think that no matter what size someone is, you can never go wrong with a balanced diet and exercise. Something I think that is important with this issue is related to the motivation behind your efforts... In my opinion, taking care of yourself and loving yourself because you are someone who is created and loved by God is key. It is hard not to wonder about the "what if" questions, but I think that these questions can be discouraging and do not serve you well. I don't think that you should "give up" on the idea of finding a soulmate until you are a size you think that guys will find appealing... I firmly believe that beauty comes from within and I do feel that there are guys out there that recognize what being truly beautiful is :). I admit that I had to smile a bit when I read your question, because I have struggled with similar questions. My height has always bothered me (I am rather tall for a girl), and I sometimes feel that I should give up thinking there may be a guy who will value this in me. But I *cannot* change this about myself. I am finally coming to the conclusion that God loves me just the way I am... Even though I will never shrink, I need to see myself as loved and loveable (and learn to love myself just the way I am). As you go about making choices with regards to looking after getting as healthy as can be and a size *you* are happy with, I hope you won't let yourself be discouraged with thoughts of how your appearance may or may not be appealing to a guy. I hope that something I have said will have helped! God bless! :) Post Reply
LivYourLife View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 06:56 PM Thanks! That does help; thank you for the encouragement. I thought about baring my soul on here, and feel like when you come to a place of desperation, I had to peel off the pride, humble myself, and ask for help. There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. I won't give up eating healthy and being active. It seems that for now, the Quest goes on! The hard part is trying to enjoy the journey, and having patience. Post Reply
View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 07:19 PM Don't give up! In the bible it says we were made in his image. God wouldn't of made you the person he did if he didn't find you beautiful. He loves you just the way you are. But guys are attracted to confidence. Love yourself and your body and a guy will see your confident glow and find you just as beautiful as God does. God bless you and your search! Post Reply
View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 06:21 AM Both Bana & Nurse have spoken well. Being obese is not healthy. If you have trouble losing and have always been significantly overweight, you may want to go to a endocrinologist that can test your hormonal output, thyroid included. Don't lose weight for anyone but you. It's not easy to switch that mindset without asking God to heal your heart to be able to love yourself properly. I'm plus-sized and get hit on all day, but as the others stated, its in your confidence and how you carry yourself. Post Reply
LivYourLife View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 02:36 PM Tests say my thyroid is low, but still "normal," and that it's not low enough to treat, even though I have a goiter. I don't know. Even as a toddler I was chunky. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 03:11 PM Face it. You want to lose weight because you do not consider yourself attractive? then you must fight and fight very very very very very hard! G_d did not create you fat, plus sized or overweight! And most certainly He does not want you to be unhappy over your looks. You dream of feeling beautiful? Then make it happen! Today there are good nuticionists who can make a diet totally and especially for you. You can have personal trainers who make a training programme especially adapted to your needs and possibilities. There are therapists who are specialized in mentally and spiritually acompanying "patients" who have deep and heavy struggle in losing weight. People lose 80-100 pounds like this. And they stay that way! But these people did not get their diet from a magazine nor did they achieve this in 8 - 10 weeks just in time before Christmas..... They take up to 2 years and each day is a battle. You will suffer and you will cry. I am telling you up front. There is no easy way to lose weight! It is a hard hard battle. But they succeed and feel like being born again! Also they wonder why they had not done this before..... So get professional help. Nothing can convince me that you are a hopeless case! I am not saying that you are doing nothing.... I am not saying that you have not been fighting enough! But... fighting is not trying! Fighting is making a plan to win the war! You have no money for all this? Then borrow it from a friend or family..... Open a donation site for yourself if you have to. Write to Oprah... Make a garage sales..... talk to the people in your church.... Do something to make it happen because first of all, you deserve it and second before first, you need it!! Girl.... you CAN HAVE THE LOOKS YOU WANT. You just need to be put on the right track and have the right people cheering for you. And most of all.... G_d will help you on your path. You have to make the first step in the right direction though. And the right direction is having a professional make a tailor made plan for you and you only. You will see.... you will lose weight and it will not come back. :bow: Post Reply
View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 04:24 PM As a nurse I don't agree with the last post. Not everyone is meant to be "thin" A 200 lb person can be just as healthy as a 120 lb person. I myself am not thin but yet my doctors think I'm perfectly healthy. I have seen people struggle their entire life to lose weight and it never happens. My dad is one of them. He is one of the most physically fit people I know and he eats right, but he is still over weight. So I still say embrace yourself :) Your beautiful let it shine :) Post Reply
View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 07:03 PM Preach it, NFG!! Post Reply
cessmeeh View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 11:58 PM you don't have to be intimidated because of your appearance.. God created someone for you, the person who will accept your flaws and your imperfections. Maybe it is not yet the time for that guy to come.. REmember, we don't exist to please them. But still, it is important to take care of ourselvesand love ourselves more.. Post Reply
LivYourLife View Profile History	L-A-D-I-E-S ...ONLY, Please!!! Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 05:15 AM Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. And, the advice. NurseforGod, I believe you're right. My family history goes to prove it, and I lost my grandma and my young uncle who was like a brother to me, due to the endless quest to obtain skinniness. Both became bulimic, abusing laxatives...PLEASE, don't ANYONE think that they are a way to lose weight. That is what killed my family. And, my uncle was/became annorexic, and compared his waist with womens'. Cees, thank you! You and NurseforGod described in a nutshell, how I feel God is leading me. To take care of myself, love myself more, and not become obsessed. It seems like a lot of guys can't understand how God would allow this, and insinuate that I'm practically in sin by not being "Average, Slender, or Toned", but, I do not believe we should become so obsessed with diet&exercise that it becomes our God. It's time I cast out my "idols", and focus on what I can do for myself, my friends & family, and most of all, for my God. I am free to dance-I am free to sing-I am free to live for You! I am free. I am free!:glow: Take the shackles off my feet, so I can dance...I just wanna praise You, I just want to praise You! :dancingp: Post Reply

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