Thread: A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
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A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 03:52 AM
Brothers and Sisters,
We get all confused as to what submission is in the bible, right?
I was just posting on a thread and I had to hit the submit button. Anyone here have to hit the submit button as well?
What are we doing when we hit the submit button?
We are offering freely our thoughts and feeling on a certain topic, right?
It makes sense now and this has been my sucess in my relationship my with feincee.
She offers her advice , opinion, feelings etc to me and because I love her I consider and listen to her submitted thoughts.
Could submission be as simple as this? YES
But also from a mans point validating her submitted thoughts and from her point submitting thoughts that will easily be recieved.
Many times we out of our great need to be heard try to force our thoughts on another. This is not submission. Like here their are guidelines we are called to follow in comunicating.
For me in my relationship I want to hear her thoughts because i love her. My problem is that she many times holds back on her thoughts because she is fearful of hurting me. She tries to protect me from her feelings. I had this problem with my previous relationship.
This time I am a strong man and once she shares with me I (do not) react out of pride or feeling of rejection to her and can show her compassion and love instead.
Whenever she withholds sharing with me, she limits my being able to express love to her in what she is feeling.
Also God has called a mans wife to be his helper and if she holds back in submitting her thoughts how can she be his help?Being a Husbands helper is not going and doing it by your self. That breakes down unity and seperates you from oneanother.
But women have to remember your words need to come to us with ((((((respect)))))))). Many times your words come in derission or in a form of a command. When you come to a man without respect you will never be heard but you will only push away the man you seek to help. Your attitude toward him is everything.
This I believe is the leading cause of abuse in relationships a woman who does not know how to approace a wounded man. Women who put their men on the defense and ultimatly at war with you.
Its the difference between telling ( trying to be powerful over him) or in submission( gently submitting your advice and thoughts) A angry abusive man is a man who has been belittled all of his life and his wife belittles him as well. A abusive man is so insecure and despretly needs help from a good woman, his wife.
His abuse is his way to feel powerful because deep down in side he feels powerless. But he is to afraid to look at his powerlessness. If you ladies understood the motive behind abuse maybe you could be a better helper to him.
Its not to late to be his helper, The helper God has called you to be...
You can go to your man and ask forgiveness for your continues rejection of him and ask forgiveness for your dissrespect to him.
Men you need to go to your wife and ask forgiveness for being abusive due to your insecurities and weakness.
If a Husband or wife starts here, their is hope for you. If you need further help just ask me and i would love to do so.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 06:46 AM
This is a real life example you will find on page 8 that Apos has shared on headship. In his opinion the husband makes the final decision and here is a example of this headship.
On the bottom of the page.......
So not only did he loose his wife but it cost him over $80,000 for that headship decision. It cost him his family.
Im going to use his example and show you the true meaning of headship and how the results would have been different.
I know he thinks his wife wasnt submitting to him because she bought the auto. I say according of my perspective she did submit to him by comming to him and bringing her request to her husband.
If this husband would have affirmed her need to change autos. Im not saying to right out buy one but just affirm her. He would would have been fulfilling his role as head in maintaining unity and expressing love to his wife.
So affirmation is the first step........Of headship
The next step would have been for the both of them to begin looking at auto's together. Going over their financess together. Most important praying and asking God together.
Do you see maintaining unity?
So the next step in headship is maintaining unity with his wife..........
here is the final and most difficult step and really requires work.........
Waiting............Headship is waiting........Waiting for what?
Waiting and trusting God to show them the path God would have them to walk together........Find agreement.
At some point his wife might have lost her desire for another Auto or at some point the husband might have seen the way where his wife could have another auto she feels better driving. The key is unity.
A husband who's primary role is to maintain unity is going to do so and a husband who's primary role is to make final decisions is going to do so.
So all of you intelligent people. Which one is good?
The perspective I hold on headship has been called evil to seek to maintain unity as a husbands role. And those here who belive it is Gods plan for husbands to make the final decision have been supported by all except my future bride.
Choose life...............
You see it is about our attitude toward marriage. Its about our attitude toward our wives and husbands. This husband i am sure loved his wife and this wife I am sure at one point loved her husband.
I believe they both also tried their best at marriage according to the plan they were given. But that plan is a failure from the very beginning.
Choose another path when you marry please. Dont choose this broken path that again and again we see leads to death of relationship.
Make unity your focus men. Make unity your focus Ladies. Unity with God and unity with your spouse.......
This is my conclusion of this thread.
Love you all,
Michael
I will give you a real life example. My cousin and his first wife were both working and had good jobs. They were a "modern" couple in that she had as much say in the marriage as he did. In 1997 she bought a new car. Her old one was falling apart. She bought a 1998 Voyager. Fourteen months later, she said she was tired of driving a "bus" and wanted another car. He said they couldnt afford it. He said they should wait until the Voyager was paid off, or at least almost paid off.
She wouldnt go for his arguement. She told him that she was his equal in the marriage and that she was going to get a new car...and she did. What she didnt realize was that the dealership gave her the "trade in" price for her van, deducted from what they had already paid, and the balance was added to the new car. So, she ended up with a $25,000 car that she was going to have to pay $40,000 for.
She had also been getting credit cards and lines of credit. They split up when he finally realised what she had been doing. Of course, two weeks after they split, she had a boyfriend who would buy her "nice things".
The divorce became final in 2000. But, he was order to pay half of her debt. His portion? $83,000 He was also ordered to pay alimony and child support, even though their two kids lived 90% of the time with him.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 06:57 AM
Apos, Thanks for your example of Bill and Mary. Yes a decision being made in an emergency setting like that is needed.
I agree with you........But in life how many emergencies are their really?
That is a positive example of a man making the final decision. The thing is do we hold fast to one mind set or the other. What I am trying to teach here is heart attitude.
Heart attitude that brings forth the results everyone desires. Unity with the opposite sex. Closeness..........Not division...
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 08:31 AM
GraceUndeserved,
I will point out that my dialogue with Will is based upon offline communication between he and myself and 2 other members, where Will openly admits to being BobBobbins, a user who was previously banned. Will stated clearly in these messages, that he would respect the administration here at CDFF, along with other users, and no longer use the profile he is now using.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 08:49 AM
GraceUndeserved,
I would like to point out to everyone, that your profile appeared within days of BobBobbins being banned, and exactly 4 days after BBReturns deactivated his or her profile...your first post being the 18th of August.
As to your true identity, there's really no way of knowing, but it could be convenient for a person to have more than one profile so as to try and add credibility to what they say online..
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 08:28 PM
KingDavid...I applaud you for being the protector of the board. However, I don't think this particular thread is the place for you to throw out your speculations. You may believe me to be BobBobbins and you would be wrong. However it's not relevant to the thread. What I was correcting was the hypocritical nature in your posts. Your posts were a response to his posts in this thread and not private dialogue. Since you didn't provide me with all of your private dialogue, I am unable to comment on it. My point being, WillB no more claimed knowledge over everyone else than you claimed knowledge over him. That's hypocritical. Furthermore, if he was correct in his posts, it matters not if he was claiming to have more knowledge. That's just how I see it. You may disagree and that's fine. However none of this is relevant to the OP and I don't believe it belongs here. I will only respond further in this thread if I feel there is a need and if it relates to the original topic. I'm done going off on these tangents.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 08:35 PM
Consequently,
Regardless of who you are, once again, WillBDunne has been banned from CDFF, and as I said, I would appreciate it if he would respect the decision of the administration here.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 10:01 PM
"The perspective I hold on headship has been called evil to seek to maintain unity as a husbands role. And those here who belive it is Gods plan for husbands to make the final decision have been supported by all except my future bride."
A correction is needed here. Those who have disagreed with you have not been opposed to striving for unity. It is unfair for you to say that have. They have only said that the biblical way is the correct way, while you say the practical way is the correct way.
