Author	Thread: The Reasons
bcpianogal View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 27 Aug, 2011 07:00 PM I recently read a couple of book by Kristen Billerbeck. They were two of the books in the "Ashley Stockingdale" series. Guys, you wouldn't like them, so don't bother...they fall into the category of Christian chick lit. Girls, you ought to read them just for the fun of it! Anyway... In these books, there is a church singles' group that one of the characters likes to refer to as "The Reasons." She says that every person in that group has an obvious reason (or multiple reasons!) for being single. But she can't figure out what her own reason is. She knows she must have one, because everyone else does. Long story short, the book is about her attempts to find a guy. All she wants is a "Christian guy who doesn't live with his mother -- and maybe a Prada handbag." She feels like "the last item left on the clearance rack" as one great guy after another snaps up the cute 21 year old girls while she (at 31) is completely overlooked. Guys go to her for dating advice, but never think to ask her out. Yeah, the one-liners get corny and predicable after a while, but basically the book gets the life and outlook of a single girl just exactly right. As I was reading these books, I kept thinking to myself "I've been saying that for years!" and "Wow...she just described exactly how that situation would feel to a single girl." It was a little freaky, actually. Like she studied MY thoughts and MY life and MY singles' group before she wrote the book! So, now that I've given WAY too much background for my simple question... :rolleyes: Do you find that you can look around your church singles' group (if you have one) or your single friends and notice all of their "reasons" for being single? I can, and it's a little scary. Makes me wonder what MY reason is, and if it is as obvious as their reasons. Thoughts? Comments? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 2 Sep, 2011 01:35 PM "Oh and in case you're reading, Beth, you're cute, sexy and have brains to back it up with! Now, how would you respond to that???" LOL dkj, are you talking to ME? Or is there another cute, sexy, and smart Beth around here somewhere? :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 2 Sep, 2011 05:14 PM I pretty much agree with what "cobbler" said earlier...especially about someone being willing to "change" for the better. Honestly, I've come across profiles where the young lady says that she wants to be accepted just like she is. Honestly, I don't even bother sending those young ladies a message. I know that might seem rude to some of you, but when I see something like that written on a person's profile, it says to me that they're prideful...because they aren't willing to work on changing any of the bad habits that they have...or in other words, they just want someone to accept their sinful nonsense for as long as they live. Well, the truth is this: God does not accept that, and neither will I! That is prideful and arrogant...and I highly doubt those people will ever have much of a loving relationship with anyone unless they change their outlook on that issue. It's one thing if that person is making a statement like that simply because they desire to live a life that's pleasing to the Lord, but if they desire to be accepted for the rest of their life in a state of sinfulness and disobedience to God, then that's completely unacceptable! If a person isn't willing to improve themselves for the sake of their future spouse, then what's the point of them searching for spouse to begin with??? That's being absolutely "self-centered"...and that's not going to result in anything other than a divorce! I'm not saying a person has to be perfect to be accepted...what I'm trying to say is that if anyone (including myself) is not willing to repent of sinful habits and continually keep trying to be a better person for the sake of their future spouse, then there's no reason for them to get involved with anyone...because all they're gonna do is hurt a bunch of people. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 2 Sep, 2011 05:43 PM I think I understand what you're saying, Focus, and you make some good points. We should always be evaluating ourselves and striving to become more like Christ every day. However, I think there could be another side to a girl wanting someone to accept her as she is. Perhaps she just wants to be able to be herself around a guy, rather than trying to mold herself into someone he wants her to be. For example, I happen to enjoy listening to celtic music. I'm not going to get rid of my CDs or stop listening to them just because a guy prefers another kind of music. Or for a more serious example, I have certain convictions about drinking alcohol, and I'm not going to suddenly change my mind just because a guy thinks that I should have a glass of wine every night. In those cases, he's going to have to accept me as I am...a celtic-music-loving tea-totaler! So, while I see your point, and I know it's valid in many cases, you might also consider an alternate reason for wanting a guy "to accept me as I am." :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 3 Sep, 2011 07:14 AM bcpianogal I Agree. I have met guys on Christian sites that fornicate, drink, lie, and talk to several women at one time. I'm not going to change my beliefs that those things are wrong for a Christian man. So, if they want someone who agrees they have to seek another Woman. So, many on these sites are not Christian Character. No one is perfect but come on, don't you read the Word of God!!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 3 Sep, 2011 12:35 PM "bcpianogal", I was only referring to a person needing to change their bad/sinful habits. If a person wants to be accepted for their personality of what they like to eat, drink, and so forth (unimportant things)...then it would probably be in their best interest to be more specific when writing their profile, rather than leaving the meaning of their statement unclear. They need to make sure others understand that they simply want to be accepted for the things that make them special/different from everyone else. Post Reply
View Profile History	The Reasons Posted : 4 Sep, 2011 04:43 AM @bcpiano Lol, was just flirting with ya! Or maybe I was being serious...? Only one way you'll ever know!!!:nahnah::laugh: Post Reply

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