Author	Thread: In a 1st message
Admin	In a 1st message Posted : 20 Apr, 2010 07:21 PM What's wrong with saying 'So how's it going?' or something to the equivalent of that in a first message? Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 06:40 AM bcp that is a really kool new pic. pixy your pic is cute too. My dear friend asking for advice, try my honest aproach to these two ladies pics. As I really do like their pics. it makes them look really cute. On a first message do not get to detailed. make a nice comment on their pics,ok. Dennis PS. cats rule dogs drool.:dancingp: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 09:57 AM Come on Remp. If you want a girl to be interested in you, you have to be interesting. Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 12:33 PM "I mean why do girls expect the guy to be upfront and come off as interesting, and share about themselves, when they're absolutely unwilling to make any kind of effort whatsoever in any of that, and then wonder why they can't find a good guy?" A husband is supposed to be the head of the household... the spiritual leader in the home... So, from the first word a guy says, I am looking for leadership abilities. If a guy can't even lead a conversation, then I'm just not going to be interested. I don't think guys should push the responsibility of leading onto women. Furthermore, I would think this would be a red flag if a guy observed a girl trying to take things over frequently. Sure, she needs to be competent, but she must have an understanding of Biblical gender roles as well and must have a humble and submissive spirit. Sometimes, I will act passive, not because it is the instinctual thing for me to do in a situation, but because I either want to see if the guy will step up to the plate and take the lead, or, I feel it's the appropriate way for me to behave at the moment. Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 01:21 PM All I look for is mutual appreciation, reporte, and reciprocation. a conversation with 2 sides that gives me something to respond to as well. if that's being a bad leader then i guess i'm doomed. Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 01:46 PM Just be yourself Remp.... when i get messages like that I simply respond with "things are well, how are things with you?" I makes me kind of think he's not quite sure how to approach me but I dont mind. I'm shy myself and not sure how to approach things either. Riveroflife Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 03:11 PM Yeah....all the leader stuff is about "spiritual" things and for when you're married....and while it's important to know if a guy can lead...I don't think it should be a requirement to talk to another human. It might make more sense to throw him a bone and see if he takes the initiative. It's hard to be a leader with nothing to go on. Being a leader is about trust, and trust takes awhile to build. I think remp is saying he wants the leadership/trust to come naturally whilst building a friendship, and not to be disqualified right away for a simple email...like you have to be awesome right away... :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 03:47 PM I'm not saying I would disqualify a guy immediately... more just explaining what would be going through my head... If he was friendly, I would probably still try to get to know him, and would be looking for other opportunities to assess his leadership potential. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 04:45 PM Why would you be anything other than awesome at all times? Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 21 Apr, 2010 05:41 PM Because it is not specific enough, Remp. You could be sending out those messages to the first 20 ladies you clicked on. How do I know you even read what I had to say and are interested in ME - myself - as a person? It is too general. Don't send just those words. Also include something specific about the woman. You've been given some good advice from others already on what you can say. Post Reply
View Profile History	In a 1st message Posted : 22 Apr, 2010 12:01 PM i guess the only other thing i have to say on this is that everybody is aware that 'hey how's it going?' has two meanings, right? either an acknowledgement and greeting when you encounter that person and/or really asking how they are, what's new, anything they want to share. and since this is a dating website which meaning is more likely to be expressed? the one where they just say the equivalent of hi and nothing else, or the one where they ask a little bit about yourself, generate feedback, and conversation ensues. now i understand and for the most part agree that a little more should be said now that i see it from your perspective. just explaining the otherside of the coin now. when somebody says that, it's not because they're shy, a bad leader, uninteresting, or anything else, it's because it's more natural. but, again, i agree a little more should be said, but you don't have to go to the other extreme with the first message, where the other end of the spectrum being that you're just trying too hard to get a response (by being funny, or saying or explaining too much, being too honest, etc.) and just come off as an idiot when in reality you're a perfectly nice young man that just doesn't know how to get responses on the first message, or what they want to hear, or are looking for, or are like, or how they communicate. i still think it's a little unfair (to both sides) how girls will reject a guy without even giving him a chance though. Post Reply

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