Author Thread: Being harassed
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Being harassed
Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 06:32 AM

There is this christian man i used to date but i cut if off, could not work for me, I told him we could be friends just friends. He still insist that I am to be his wife and he is having all these dreams of us being married and me being pregnant, he evens wants to come by my home which never happened before. I feel wierd i am telling him those are his dreams not mine GOD has never confirmed to me that I would marry him so I cannot agree and he has his cell group praying for me to marry him. How do I truly get him to see I do not love him enough to marry him. PLEASE HELP :toomuch:

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Being harassed
Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 07:18 PM

Thank you cowgirl, I read Vals original post very carefully and weeded out all the conjecture between vilifying this man. You all sound like a lynch mob. In one page of posts he has turned from a guy who is asking permission to come to her house into a stalker!

:ROFL:

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 09:19 PM

Two Sparrows - This is not a matter!

Read Post #5 by Val



Val - Please reconsider reporting this stalking to the police. They can't help unless they have the information. Stalking or talking about stalking is a crime. The police can adivse you on how it should be handled. This man needs professional help.

The law needs a record of his conduct so that they can help you and any one else he may be saying this to. You could be saving some one's life by reporting this guy.

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 10:22 PM

Two sparrows nothing about him makes my heart go pitter patter, he is tall,good looking and he has some money BUT like i said when we where dating he wanted to know where I was going with whom and just being a pain on my job phone calls or he would pop up online like 10-15 times in my 8hr shifts and just want to say i love you, I added him to my facebook and as soon as i would finish commenting on let's say a friends photo he would ask who is the friend and he is just wierd, I guess also it is his upbring or culture he is african.



My other thing is I am british it seemed like he wanted to get married so he can get into England because after awhile everything that he wanted to talk about was about traveling to the UK in every conversation.:toomuch: it was just wierd I told him I am not interested in living in th UK he did not get it.



Also iive on a beautiful small caribbean island (anguilla)and I do not want to go outside 1 day and see him on my porch, so I finally talked to the local police and they will talk 2 him.:dancingp:



I cannot even tell my mom she might want to get my brothers and go looking for him,:laugh:



Thank u guys for talking to me :hearts::bouncy:

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Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 10:34 PM

@southwestgal

yes I read Vals post# 5 ; the one where she specifically states he is a nice guy. Now you have him pegged as a stalker and a criminal! And should be reported to the police. Such is the behavior of a pack of wolves; it is mob mentality. From Vals post she doesn't indicate she feels in any danger, but if she listens to such advice as yours; this guy you have turned into a villain is in danger.

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 11:41 AM

@twosparrows. You are focusing on only ONE word in the following paragraph:

"It just seems so wierd that some men cannot get a simple we cannot work into his head, I have told people even his family and friends to make it clear to him that no I will not be with him, he is a nice guy but his ways are funny to me like example he wanted to try and control every area of my life and I was like what in disguise."

Look at "...cannot get a simple we cannot work into his head, I have told people even his family and friends to make it clear to him..." and also "...example he wanted to try and control every area of my life..." He DOESN'T LISTEN, he was CONTROLLING. When someone continues to pursue someone no matter how many times they say no, at some point it becomes harassment and eventually stalking.

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 11:42 AM

Plus, twosparrows, he was making Val uncomfortable BEFORE we ladies were posting these things. If he was making her UNCOMFORTABLE, there is a REASON. If she is in any way uncomfortable and he is still not backing off even when she has made it clear to him that he needs to, and she has even gone to others for help with him and it has still not worked, it is time for the next step.

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 12:44 PM

@ cowgirl

I, a old man am going to give you a valuable gift if you choose to receive it :

There are always two sides to every story. When hearing only one side you need to pay attention read between the lines to get a hint of what the other side is.



I hope you receive this, it is given in sincerity and love.

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 07:12 PM

Ok guys I love you all, no 1 needs get upset I think i got some great advice on how to deal with him and he is being dealt with, Twosparrows me and the guy cannot and will never b together.



And he does not want my friendship, he told me this and I do not want him as a husband or anything else like I said he is wierd and he makes me feel uncomfortable .

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 07:18 PM

two.. yes there are 2 sides to every story..



yes we only have her side, and we will never know his side. I think it is a female reaction to be VERY weary of men who do not seem to understand NO means NO. and we as females TRY to be nice and that can be our downfall.



I have seen what domestic violence can do to a woman and or children. I have dealt with a stalker in the past. I am sorry if my first reaction was to protect her. It is my first reaction to people in general. to protect them.. I am human and can and do make mistakes.In this case I would rather be wrong than right..



again. I am sorry if my reaction offended anyone

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 20 Oct, 2010 10:41 PM

@twosparrows. What Lady said is exactly right, and that was why in an earlier post I said that you being a man do not understand. Better safe than sorry. Lady put it perfectly, better than I could. I certainly wasn't trying to start a fight and I know there are two sides to every story. And while that was a pinch condescending I do understand why you said that to me. However, I already know that, firmly believe that, and generally go with that. But again, in a case like this, better safe than sorry.

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