Author	Thread: When to make a move
cmhoranb View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 5 Mar, 2011 12:17 PM So I'm planning out a third date with a girl who I really like, and feel somewhat confident she's into me as well. Our talks have been great, there's laughter, if a certain day doesn't work for a date, she's quick to offer another suggestion. So I really want to do things right. She's expressed an interest in taking things slow which I can respect and appreciate. My only fear is taking things too slow and having her think I'm a wuss or not interested in something holding her hand or kissing her. I think she's pretty old fashioned in a lot of her values (again, fine with me, even a good thing) so I can't quite figure out what to do. Do I go for holding her hand on the third date if the opportunity is there, do I shoot for a good night kiss if I drop her off? Should I wait a bit longer and miss the window? I don't really want to keep the 'hug' thing going on for too long. I've also read some girls like it if the guy asks permission first, or even follows up with "Did you like that" after a move was made. Thanks in advance for any feedback :) Post Reply
View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 6 Mar, 2011 07:16 PM If you don't know her well enough to know if she wants to be kissed or wants her hand held, then you shouldn't attempt those things on her. Get to know her better and wait until you know what she wants so you both can enjoy those mile stones together. Let me put it in biblical terms. Sex in the bible is never defined as sex, it is always defined as "Going into" or "Knowing" someone. The physical part, knowing when and how, those are all parts of getting to know someone. Don't act until you KNOW how they feel and if you are not good at picking up on the signals, you need to ask. God bless! :) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 9 Mar, 2011 03:22 PM Third date? Go for the hand holding, but hold off on the kiss (unless she seems to be hoping for one!) Better to move a little slower than rush things and offend or scare her. But take your cue from the girl. The way she responds to holding hand can tell you what she would like the next "move" to be, whether it be a goodnight hug, or a kiss, or just a friendly wave as you say goodnight. Post Reply
cmhoranb View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 11 Mar, 2011 07:43 AM Ok, so the update that was requested: Third date was last night and I think it went pretty well. I feel like I wussed out and didn't really make a move but I also never saw a good chance. She did have to take a call from her friend who's flying in from out of town for the weekend, and she told her friend "I'm at dinner now with " so at least her friend knows about me, I figure thats gottta count for something. During dinner she sounded excited to catch a movie afterwards (I had wanted to take her to see The Genesis Code, but didn't know if we'd have time). We made it work and the theater was just down a ways in the mall where we were for dinner. While walking her hands were in her pockets (but then again, so were mine now that I think back). While waiting in line to get tickets she noticed I took my jacket off and was carrying it, she said something like "I'm pretty sure that's gonna be my blanket in the theater" which I thought was cute (and yes, I let her use it to keep herself warm). But, during the movie, her hands were in her lap (I kept hoping she'd put her arm on the armrest or something) and while maybe I could have pulled the old "yawn/stretch put your arm around a girl" it just never felt like the time. She was never really leaning towards my side or anything. I figure a girl has to give at least a little encouragement right??? So, I'm not sure what to make. Our talks go great and I'm pretty confident she has a good time (which for me to say is really something) however sometime soon I'd love to at least hold hands or be able to put my arm around her. I don't know if I should just do it or wait for some sign from her. Post Reply
cmhoranb View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 11 Mar, 2011 07:45 AM Something got removed from that first paragraph.... When her friend called, she told her "I'm at dinner with XYZ" where XYZ is my first name (point being, her friend seemed to know who I was by name). Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 11 Mar, 2011 12:50 PM It sounds to me like she enjoys your company. The fact that she didn't open herself up to holding hands (putting her hands in her pockets was a SURE way to keep you from even attempting that!) probably means that she'll make it clear when she IS ready to hold hands...she'll make sure that you can actually get to her hand without any trouble. Like I said, take your cue from her. Post Reply
cmhoranb View Profile History	When to make a move Posted : 12 Mar, 2011 11:19 AM Thanks for the response. I noticed I had my hands in my pockets too, but it wasn't out of a desire to stop her from holding my hand, I think it was more habit so I'm wondering if it was the same for her. I think the next time we go out I may just ask about all of these things in general to better understand her wants and fears. There are some Christians who would rather wait until marriage to kiss and if she's one of those, I'd rather find out now than after I went in to kiss her for the first time :) I figure a fourth date is as good of a time as any to bring up such things. Post Reply

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