Author	Thread: Red flag, or not?
bcpianogal View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 31 Jan, 2012 08:10 AM Girls, I need your opinion on something. Guys, feel free to comment as well! I've been talking to this guy online (we met on another site, not CDFF) for about three weeks. When he first contacted me, I was hesitant to communicate with him because of a few minor red flags in his profile (no dealbreakers, just stuff that made me go "huh?" and look quizzical). He lives about 6 hours away, so that also is a bit of an issue for me. Anyway, long story short, I decided to give him a chance, and the first couple weeks of communication were surprisingly good. For the past week, though, I've had an uneasy feeling about things. None of them are flat-out dealbreakers, but here are a few of the things that concern me. 1) He'd told me that trips to GA weren't really possible for him because of finances, but that he was planning to move to GA within a year. (I say: So...he can move here, but he can't visit here?) 2) He said that he was specifically looking for a girl who lived at least several hours away from him because he had no desire to marry someone local...he wants to move away from that area as soon as possible. (I say: Um, I don't want to be his ticket out of town.) 3) He admitted that he has no close friends, has a few friends who live far away, and has only a very few acquaintances nearby. (I say: Well, I noticed that he isn't smiling in any of his profile pictures...maybe he's not a friendly person?) 4) I've sensed some bitterness in a few of his emails...like he wants to blame others for some of the "problems" with his life. (I say: Why does he have to prove that nothing is his fault by pointing fingers at others?) 5) He's already talking about our future together...yet he hasn't even mentioned moving off-site so that we can continue to talk via personal email...and I'm honestly not sure right now if I'd be comfortable giving him my email address if he DID ask! (I say: He shouldn't talk about our future together until he's at least told me his last name!) 6) A few times, I took longer than normal to answer a message, and more than once he's sent a second message as if he's trying to remind me that he's waiting for a response. (I say: I have a full-time job and 2 part-time jobs, and an actual, real, not-online life! If I take 24 hours to answer his message, he needs to learn to deal with it!) Am I being paranoid and over-analyzing this (as I often tend to do)? Or do you think I have legitimate reasons to feel uneasy? Like I said, these aren't really dealbreakers, just concerns. If I need to end communication, I need to do so before either of us get emotionally invested in the online "relationship." Right now, I'm at the point where I cringe when I see that I have yet another message from him. On a positive note, there are a couple guys (one in particular) that I'm communicating with whose emails are greatly enjoyed and anticipated! Post Reply
View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 5 Feb, 2012 11:51 AM My advised would be pray about it and just follow peace.If you do not have peace in this situation,it is not of the Lord.The Holy Spirit warns us and we have to be sensitive to the warnings.If we over ride what He is trying to tell us,we are setting ourselves up for a lot of heartache.I personally believe when you find the one that God has for you it will be a joy and you will have peace.2 fruits if the Spirit. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 5 Feb, 2012 01:06 PM Well folks, I sent the guy an email explaining that we are not as good of a match as we initially seemed. I hope that I was able to do so in a gentle manner, as I don't want to hurt him. His reply simply said that he could understand where I was coming from, but was there anything I wanted to talk about? I sent him a brief reply to tell him thanks for understanding. I'm planning to close the match later today (once he has a chance to read my reply). The final straw was an email he sent late last night (another "reminder" type of email since I hadn't yet answered the email he sent early yesterday morning). It definitely confirmed a few of my concerns, and I felt that it was an answer to prayer. Post Reply
View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 14 Feb, 2012 10:54 PM Not being a cheerleader is one of my red flags. You wouldn't happen to be/have been one would you SallyMaine? :dancingp::hearts: Post Reply
View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 23 Feb, 2012 09:26 AM Haha! That's so funny. No I've never been a cheerleader before...not even a little bit. Post Reply
View Profile History	Red flag, or not? Posted : 24 Feb, 2012 05:25 AM Well it's never too late lol Post Reply

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