Thread: Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
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Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
Posted : 7 May, 2011 03:09 PM
Okay, wanted to talk about something that sincerely bugs me.
This was brought up in the post "Finish this question?"
I read everything that was said, and a lot of it made sense to me, as I'm sure it did to others, but some of it didn't.
I believe God does have a will for all of us, and that we have to pray, and do things in faith, and that it's important we go to him for things we need, but I believe there's a serious and dangerous lie within this "If I get married it has to be God's will." Let me explain what I mean. These are people who are usually bombarded with these words, and almost encouraged to stay single by the church, not find a wife, or a husband.
What on earth is with this? They're complicating things that should be pretty easy, making people feel bad for wanting a spouse, and wanting to have children. I've seen this pattern before in a lot of church groups, it's extremely sad to watch.
Yes, pray and seek God's will about it, but you don't have to be doomed to a life of perpetual singleness, the person God has planned for you MAY show up at your door, but I think it's okay to look for a wife/husband in the meantime. The Lord said to go says a lot about marriage and children in the bible...I don't think he said "Well...maybe..maybe not, you should pray about it and see, you may be chosen to be single. Really, I'm not letting you know."
The gift of singleness is called a "gift" for a reason, few people have it. Which is okay. It is better to marry than to burn. Staying single doesn't give you anymore peace, anymore strength, doesn't make you anymore "holy" if you will, than realizing you need a wife/husband.
Well, I suppose this was sort of a rant, needed to be said though.
Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
Posted : 8 May, 2011 09:42 PM
Today's sermon centered around how some people are meant to live in the world and thus be married. Those folks need to focus on their spouse in this world. Other people are meant to focus solely on God and thus must remain single. That really hit me hard....I am protestant and had not really thought about that. So....I wish you all well. God Bless and Goodbye.
Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
Posted : 9 May, 2011 02:57 PM
Getting married is a lifetime commitment and only God knows why it take so long for some of us. We do have a free will like T.S. said, but I don't agree that we have to plead and beg.
I have a health issue right now that I wanted healed.... yesterday...I cry, petition, praise, thank, beg, make it known and then be silent and wait...trusting. I certainly do not need anyone telling me I need to DO more. I have done what this scripture and many others direct us to do. Like searching my heart and forgiving anyone before I ask Him for something.
Did Job not pray hard enough for his prayers to be answered? Did his friends have the answers? No, but Job did have to pray for them in the end of his trial and then had his prayers answered mightily. It was GOD'S timing in all of it.
Phil. 4:6~Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
What if He sees that we need to go through certain things to be ready for this lifetime commitment? There are many reasons we may never know until we get to heaven.
Proverbs 16:9~ In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Father God does not dangle a marriage dream in front of our heart and eyes and then say "well, I don't think it will happen for you because you are not praying hard enough."
Our free will includes chemistry, compatibility and basically our choice in the end. But, if we truly want God's direction and witness in our spirit, then we wait for that inner voice to confirm who is best suited for us.
The Bible is filled with people who waited, often for many years, for God to act. Abraham and Sarah were both wrinkled geezers when she gave birth to Isaac. Joseph had to wait years before God reunited him with his family. Joshua and Caleb had to wander in the desert for 40 years with the disobedient Israelites, patiently waiting on God, before they could enter the promised land.
Martha and Mary had to wait for Jesus--and their brother Lazarus died waiting. But then he lived again!
No matter how urgent our request seems, we tend to forget that God not only wants what's best for us, but that one of his names is Jehovah-Jireh: The God who provides.
I could have been married two time now, since being single for 4 years. But, I did not feel that inner witness in my spirit with my heavenly Father and after two painful divorces...I am waiting on Him...but not always patient, non-complaining or happy about it. He is faithful...I am his daughter and I do stomp my feet at times and He lovingly says "just wait a little while, dear, Daddy knows what is best for you." :applause:
Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
Posted : 9 May, 2011 04:25 PM
Joeysings,
That was wonderfully said.
You're right,
God doesn't allow us to suffer in order for us to try harder or to become more righteous. He does not allow certain children of His to remain single in order for them to try harder either.
None of us are going to "out perform" Job.
Our eyes, like Job's will be opened according to God's timing.
If Job could have opened his own eyes, would he and his family have to of suffered?
If we could hurry and accomplish God's will in our lives would that equal a quicker route to a relationship?
Our Heavenly Father wants us to surrender our desires to Him, and trust in His goodness and perfect love for us, in order that we, like Job would be enabled to receive our site - our site of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Getting married/Believing what amounts to be a lie.
Posted : 9 May, 2011 10:35 PM
Joey,
We certainly do have a difficult time grasping that...until we're left with no other hope, and nowhere left to go.
Unfortunately that is when we usually realize, that in comparison, nothing else has ever really mattered.
By the way ;)
Thanks for the compliment. I've viewed your profile before as well, and I can easily imagine that you could have been married several times in the last 4 years! You're a wonderfully attractive woman with much to offer :winksmile: !
