Author	Thread: Why get married?
Admin	Why get married? Posted : 23 Feb, 2012 05:34 AM I would like to ask you ladies a question, just trying to see things from your point of view. Many people have told me that I shouldn�t get married if I am not content being alone. If a guy is perfectly content being alone, why do you think he would want to get married? What would be the point of disrupting a perfectly content life? Post Reply
Mercymay View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 25 Feb, 2012 05:32 AM Why not? Cobbler, I hope you won�t take this negatively but I would like to remind you about the power of our words. If you say you are this and you are that, it will be. We are created in the likeness of God and God created everything with words. So I think better watch out what you say cause it will happen. My prayers are with you that may that someone who will be happy just being by your side will come along and that in her company you find happiness and fulfillment too. By then you will say why not marry? About being alone, I have this neighbor not a native from our country, he is English and live by himself next door. I don�t think he feels alone because I can hear him greeting the neighbors as he comes and goes. So to have friends, be a friend first. If I ever find someone again, I really would like to be married. The problem is, I already meet someone here at CDFF, he was everything I wish for and even more but he married someone else, he was in a hurry to get married and for other reason I was not. I say it is now a problem because in my search now I search for someone like him. If someone like him comes along, why not? I believe God is preparing someone even better. I believe in that and for now I enjoy life until he comes, and we will enjoy life together. Why get married? My eldest daughter asked me that question and she doesn�t want to be married. Said she doesn�t want to mind someone else, that she doesn�t like the prospect of needing to adjust to someone, to consider someone, etc etc. She loves to read, play suduko, watch anime. I think she is too busy alone to feel lonely that she doesn�t want company. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 25 Feb, 2012 06:22 PM mercymay, you're right in saying that initiative is something that has to be taken into account. Cobbler, sir, I know that you probably don't want words of encouragement from a younger person like myself; so I'll leave that to the people who have more experience behind them. Peace and everlasting grace be with you from the calm to stormy seas until the cometh of our Lord. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 25 Feb, 2012 06:33 PM Ok I'm going to jump right in here. I understand your frustration and I thought long and hard before responding to this post to say the following. Can you understand the frustration of those who do try to reach out to you with love, kindness, and prayer and have each one of them batted away because it is not the kind that you require. You have problems communicating which you have said, so we have grasped that and instead of walking away each person is trying to relate to you in a way to convey their love to you but you are shooting everyone down so how exactly does this work? When we say go to God in prayer you treat it with contempt that we are just trying to shove you in a hole like God isn't able to help you like we know he can but then when you do that you shoot down not trite words but a route we have all taken and where God has shown up along the way. Cobbler do you believe he can help you? No matter what you go through making the message of turning to God who is supposed to be the author and finisher of your faith of no effect isn't right. Now I can imagine if you are reading this you are thinking there goes another one who doesn't understand, another one to judge me when I am trying to communicate, not so i think we all hear what you have to say the question is do you hear what we are saying? Every time you ask for help and it's offered it is rejected because it's not what you want so it's hard for even us yet we keep trying. I hear the hurt I hear the frustration I hear the depression and hopelessness, all we can do is point you to Jesus and if in saying that it sounds like we are brushing you off this goes way deeper than communication. We may not "understand" what you are trying to communicate? you think but the God that made you knows what you are trying to say. And yes I have been burned by your words before, I am not saying you have not been trying or that you are some huge sinner that can't access God what I am saying is keep pushing. I am not quite sure aspergers makes a person negative but probably from the experiences of disappointments one must have. I am sorry if I seem harsh but I also believe that tip toeing around you is not the answer. You do come across aggressive and negative and hurtful but I am sure it is not your intention so as always I am in prayer on your behalf. Now after all this you still find someway to shoot someone down I don't know if i can ever reply again but just keep you in prayer as I am sure every genuine person who have told you this does. Just remember we do not possess a magic wand to help but we're going to try because contrary to your belief we do care. Post Reply
dove_serpent View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 26 Feb, 2012 09:29 AM whoa! u all deserve a big :applause: u've done a great job guys and i admire and salute u all for being so patient but i think cobbler needs a professional help (psychologist). he has been deleted by the way. Post Reply
NRSV1953 View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 26 Feb, 2012 09:57 AM Cobbler seems to come and go rather frequently. Continued prayer for him and his situation is still needed. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 26 Feb, 2012 09:43 PM If you're unhappy single, than you will be unhappy married. Post Reply
dove_serpent View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 1 Mar, 2012 03:37 AM oh, dear! i've done a great mistake on commenting w/o fully reading everything. poor cobbler :< forgive me. i remember him having very good replies in some of the post i've read before and he seemed very normal, in fact he's intelligent, i guess. i read again what he was saying here (w/o reading the comments/replies of others). it was then that i fully grasped his sentiments and see the whole picture.... may he forgive us all. we may be sincere (on trying to help him) but we are sincerely wrong. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 1 Mar, 2012 05:50 AM I don't understand, how have we wronged him? He is intelligent and compitent in many ways. These are not in question. And he is lonely. His asbergers is a socio-psychological disorder that is a tool satan uses to isolate him and causes him to push away the very help, love and inclusion he seeks. It is a mad cycle for which all we can do is be patient, lovingly help him to the best of our abilities ... and pray for healing! We hardly understand mental illness at all, and all we can offer, without professional tools and prayer, is a hand of friendship. We have all experienced a very deep sense of loneliness and how can we judge if one person's loneliness is more severe than anothers? it is only as relevant as your own personal experience. Is a teenager in love and broken up with the ONLY love they've ever known not in just as much pain as a marriage that breaks up after 25 years of the deepest love you've ever known? In both cases, it is the most extreme pain they have ever felt. It is relevant to your whole exprience. No one person holds the keys to the darkest place in the world... we all have our own personal keys to that place. All we can do for each other is tell the other where we found light! And walk with them there... if they are willing. Because He has proven Himself to be ... The way, The truth... The Light! :yay: Only there is Peace! (Not even in another's arms! ... not steadfast and enduring like that!) Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 3 Mar, 2012 01:42 AM There is nothing wrong with a man wanting and desiring to have a permanent female presence in his life. It is the way God created man and also the reason God decided to create woman after Adam and all the animals were made. In Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 God looked upon Adam and said, &#8220;It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet for him.&#8221; God then made animals for Adam to care for and provide company for Adam, but apparently Adam still did not feel complete without another human to share his life with because verse 20 says, &#8220;And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; BUT for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.&#8221; Then God &#8220;caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam&#8221;, and God took one of Adam&#8217;s ribs and created a woman and &#8220;brought her&#8221; to Adam. So, it is natural for a man to want a woman in his life, and to want that help meet as a permanent part of his existence thru the sanctity of marriage. Communities and friends are not a substitute for the kind of natural desire men and women have to be a part of one another&#8217;s lives. Others can help with loneliness and spiritual or moral support, but it is not wrong for us to wish for and desire to have a help meet in the form of a marriage partner. Genesis 2: 24 &#8220;Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.&#8221; It is nice to encourage people to be happy with themselves even if they have to live life alone, and learn to trust God and be content with whatever they have, but we should not make people believe they are Wrong in hoping and wishing they had a marriage partner to share life with. Do I know why some have to learn to be content to be alone and others don&#8217;t? NO. I can&#8217;t understand why that is. Do I think you should give up hope? NO. But, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with a man or woman desiring to be united in marriage. The only thing a single person can do is believe that God is in control and that He will provide that help meet if there is one for you, but learn to be content in whatever state you find yourself in. Meaning, if you&#8217;re alone trust God to help you accept it; and if He sends you a marriage partner trust Him to help you be content with married life. The Apostle Paul said, Philippians 4:11, &#8220;Not that I speak in respect of want: For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.&#8221; My advice&#8230;Take one day at a time as it comes. You cannot know what a day holds, and you cannot force the future to come. So, don&#8217;t lose hope or give up on your faith, but at the same time ask God to help you be content in whatever state you are in. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why get married? Posted : 3 Mar, 2012 02:05 AM I did not know cobbler's acct. was deleted and my computer puts numbers for words sometimes for some reason, so I am trying to remove my post but I see no way to remove it. Does anyone know how to remove a post of our own? Post Reply

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