Help me out ladies if you will be so kind... I see alot of profiles of women in their mid to late 30's through their late 40's. In many of these profiles their desired age ranges are 10-15 years younger than they are and 1-3 older or not older at all but younger only. Now though I expect to hear the old "it's a preference jag" I'm looking for the honest answers. To me it seems that women, but mainly women here in the U.S, do not desire a strong, mature man in the Lord but are looking for a kid to train, to mold an immature guy into what they want a guy to be. Does it make women feel better about themselves if they can find a younger man or even a boy that will show an interest in them? Common ladies, if there is no shame about the directness of these questions, please share a bit of insite...
I believe there IS some shame in the directness of your question...if not the directness, certainly the ignorance of it.
Your own profile states ANY AGE as your preference. ANY AGE, according to this sites options would be inclusive of the very young (age 18) to the very old (age 99). Given your age is 45, are we to infer that you do not desire a strong, mature female in the Lord but are looking for a kid to train, to mold an immature gal into what you want a woman to be. Does it make you feel better about yourself if you can find a younger woman or even a young girl that will show an interest in you?
Or, could we assume you do desire a strong, mature female in Lord. Someone perhaps in their late 60's early 70's looking to train, to mold an immature male? Does it make you feel better about yourself if you can find an older woman or even a grandmother that will show an interest in you?
Common SuperNova, if there is no shame about the directness of these questions, please share a bit of insight...
OShea, I think you are being a bit unfair to SuperNova. If he had specifically changed his age range to include many who were much younger or much older, then you would have an argument. The fact that he has everyone simply means that he has not changed his DEFAULT settings. What SuperNova is talking about are those women who SPECIFICALLY set the age range to someone way younger than them.
I have my mail settings open to any age so that anyone on the forums can email me about a forum post. But, I have specified in my profile that I am looking for someone who is 10 years younger than me.
So it would appear that honest questions are not recieved in a loving way. We don't have to like the questions that are asked, we dont have to answer the questions asked. A true follower of the Lord would respond with grace even if it wasn't warrented. There must be a true sister in the Lord who will answer the question that was asked. I enjoy seeing the feminist band wagon roll on but its not biblical is it? The reason why I like to see it is, in itself it answers other questions that were not asked. One of the reasons why the divorce rate in the U.S. is around 52% of first marriges and not much better in the church. Another is what it truely looks like not to have a heart for God. The question asked was not intended to insult but rather to find out why. Was the question asked viewed as insulting to your gender? the response so far was definetly meant to insult. Is it Godly or biblical to return insult for insult? ooops! Oh and in responce, (instead of a reaction) to the any age range on my proflie comment, if you would kindly notice other things that would not give you an excuse to avoid answering the question but an excuse to divert fault on another instead, I am looking for friends and friends do not have an age group, not to me anyway.
I would answer if I could but I don't have those kinds of age ranges. My profile is open to anyone because I have friends of all ages here. But for a life-long mate, I'd prefer someone within 10 years either way of my present age. (5 would be better)
And I found it interesting that your comments and observations can also be applied to many of the men's profiles I have read and seen. It is not just women doing it. Not an answer to your question; just some comments.
I know exactly what SuperNova is referencing Cobbler...and I would offer up the very nature of his question defines his intent. The unfairness sir, lies in the way he crafted his inquiry and not my gentle mocking of him for that inquiry. Had he merely asked the female populace of this site why SOME of them show a preference for a younger man by indicating their acceptable age range 10 - 15 years younger on their profile...and left them to answer for themselves, that would be an entirely different matter.
Instead he infused his own bias spin and said this, "To me it seems that women, but mainly women here in the U.S, do not desire a strong, mature man in the Lord but are looking for a kid to train, to mold an immature guy into what they want a guy to be. Then he asked this, "Does it make women feel better about themselves if they can find a younger man or even a boy that will show an interest in them?"
It is well established that the wording of a question can inject bias and influence a respondents reply. What better way to subtly debase a female's choice then to negatively suggest her preference for a younger man would mean he is not strong in the Lord and therefore an immature kid waiting to be molded into what that female wants. Pfffft! :nahnah:
I am sure there are a myriad of reason's an older woman would choose to actively seek out a relationship with a younger man.Yes, quite possibly SOME women do choose younger men based upon their pliability and willingness to please. However the majority of women I know that are currently in a relationship with a younger male or are seeking such a relationship, have stated far different reasons for doing so.
Notwithstanding the idea of finding Joy, Comfort, Happiness and LOVE some older women seek out or are more open to a younger male companion because they find them to be more encouraging, more open minded, more physically attractive and better in bed. Additionally, some younger men are "already" attracted to older women and to that end actively seek out their attention as well. Is she exploiting a younger mans predilection by encouraging him? Who knows? Who cares! If two people are happy together and meet each other's needs on connectivity levels of spiritual, intellectual, emotional and mental maturity...who cares the age difference but those naysayers that would seek to put a woman down for choosing a companion outside her age range.
"Does it make women feel better about themselves if they can find a younger man or even a boy that will show an interest in them?" Umm....Hulloooooooooooo! If a male is loving, charming...encouraging...supportive...strong in his faith, mature, responsible, kind, gentle, shows integrity and quality of character OF COURSE THAT IS GOING TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF and we should all be so blessed to find such a companion to experience life with regardless of his or her age.
And lastly Cobbler...I don't think you can merely assume simply because SuperNova's acceptable age range is set to the default (ANY AGE) means he simply hasn't changed it for no other reason then he couldn't be bothered to do so...or simply overlooked it. Whilst that is entirely possible...leaving it set to ANY AGE is still a feature setting and one that does not narrow down his opportunities by age range. I don't think you can assume ANYTHING based on a feature setting other then a preference, period.
THAT primarily was my point in chiding him in the first place for assuming a man's age DOES or DOES NOT denote his faith in God, his quality of character and maturity level. His bias was clear implying by the nature of his question that there is something wrong with a female that would seek out such a relationship with a younger man and to that end his question was ignorant.
I don't really know how to answer your questions, because each woman has her own opinions and ideas about what is important to them in a relationship, and what they find attractive in a man.
Some women like older men because they are more mature, stable, romantic and sensitive than a younger, less experienced, man might be. Some women like younger men because they more fun, outgoing, adventurous or energetic. (This is from some of the conversations I've had with other women.) I'm sure there are a wide range of answers about WHY some women prefer younger or older men. You would have to ask each women individually.
Personally, I think it's kind of creepy for a woman to date someone significantly younger than them, but I would also say the same of a much older man dating a very young woman too. A five to ten year age difference might be acceptable, if the younger of the two was more mature for their age, but any more than that and I think it starts to get a little weird, and in some cases, downright gross.
From personal experience, I can say, I don't like dating younger men. They just aren't mature enough for me mentally or emotionally. I'm not trying to be mean here, just honest.
I have tried to date a few older men in the last year or so. Both were ten years older than me. In both cases we were good friends first, so it seemed natural to develop stronger feelings for each other. We got along great at first.
When it came to dating, I don't think they felt we had enough in common to have a lasting relationship. We had vastly different tastes in music and movies, favorite TV shows, for example. It made some conversations awkward (and kinda funny) when they would be telling me something they did in high school, and I would say, I was six, or seven then. So after a while, we came to realize we made better friends than we did anything more, and realized it was not going to go anywhere.
I don't have too much of a problem with the idea of dating a slightly older man, as long as we really had enough in common and the age difference wasn't a problem for him, but still...I think people who are closer in age tend to make better matches overall.
Thank you godslamb and mycrownisgod for your imput and insite. Thank you both also for not accusing others of distasteful motives, thank you for not attempting to use psycological analysis to find fault, but simply trying to help. I will do the Christlike thing and apologize not for the questions themselves but for the lack of exceptable wording that some choose to utilize to belttle others. To cobbler I will not say bravo, but instead say thank you brother. Not all choose to see the heart because ones heart does not matter to them, however many do choose to use what they fabricate as insulting, to justfy their actions. All those who Claim Christ as Lord are commanded not to return insult for insult, but to be gentle and kind to all. To those of you who are gentle and kind, I pray the Lord grant your hearts desires. To those who as their attempt to conceil insult would say "my gentle mocking" are concerned, may you truly experience God's mercy and grace in your lives so that you will know what its like to receive that which is not deserved. Mabey then you will be able to show that which you didn't deserve to those whom you view as bias. I know this, one cannot share with another that which one doesn't have. God bless all, but especially the humble in heart...
I cannot speak for anyone but me. I prefer a guy that is older than me up to five years. I will not go much more that an year or two younger than me because that does not feel right to me.
I look for maturity, confidence and a close walk with God.
I'll butt in as a bloke with an age range on his profile:
I've allowed women from 18-41 to contact me because I am torn between wanting someone my own age so that we can relate to each other better in terms of experiences, and younger because I don't want to be the umpteenth boyfriend they've had. I also believe it becomes harder to form a strong relationship as you get older - set in your ways is it were - so I suppose there is some element of moulding a younger, more flexible(?) person. More on that in a moment though.
Of course, realistically an 18yo is unlikely to have the same outlook, hobbies or desires as a 34yo so it's kind of a moot point anyway - I'd be very surprised to get interest from someone younger than late twenties!
At the other end, I'm also open to women who are several years older than me, because I value their generally more mature attitudes to life and desire for stability. Of course, I don't want to go too far upwards because my parents are only early fifties and it would feel very strange dating someone only a few years younger! The other reason is that IME most women (certainly in the UK) have done everything by forty, in that they've almost certainly got one or more kids, probably been married and divorced, perhaps more than once, and now just want to settle down and raise said offspring. Having tried several times previously, coming into this pre-existing relationship part way through is very difficult, made worse by the fact her children are her priority, so I'd always come second which is not how I want to feel. And I'd have liked to have been there at the very beginning, at the start of the family so we knew each other before the kids came along.
