Author	Thread: stalking ??
gershonmn View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 15 May, 2012 02:06 PM ok ladies I am not understanding this. what is stalking? I was a computer geek for 15 years and never understood how you can "stalk" some one online. just block their access. or on here send a "we are not a good match" note/ part 2 if there is no contact and all you do is look at their profile how is that any kind of a threat or stalking? please educate me Post Reply
Sarahthegreat View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 15 May, 2012 11:33 PM ok sense no one else has answered, I guess I'll say something. When people say stalking in the virtual sense, it's like the person frequently looks at that person's profile or they look at it more than normal. They don't necessarily have to be posting or sending unwanted messages in order to get themselves blocked. They merely observe that person's profile and constantly keep up with everything on it. It can be creepy every time you update or post something on any of your profiles and that person always knows seconds after it's been posted. They also tend to remember every thing you've ever put online too. It becomes stalking when they get to know you through only all your profiles without ever having any actual conversation with you. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 08:13 AM Hmm. I've had a conversation with someone before from a site, he wanted to court/date. He would look at my posts and write me about what I said in each one. I made the mistake of giving him my phone number before, thusly inviting many calls, sometimes during the night...he would call as many as 30 times a day. My family would sometimes pick up and he would ask for me. He found various accounts of mine on many social networking sites, and added me as a friend or wrote me. I told him I felt we shouldn't speak anymore at some point, after it seemed to get to be too overwhelming. He became increasingly angry with me, spreading false rumors about my character, writing friends of mine (information obtained through a social networking site) things about me and asking them questions about me. Eventually he stopped calling/writing, but I am much more careful with whom I give out a last name to (can be obtained from Caller ID), or a number or a link to something that might be connected with me. There are many internet search engines, that can be geared towards finding people. Some people have indeed at one point or another been stalked by someone, which can take place over the internet. This of course is nothing like someone taking a natural interest in you, and trying to get to know you, that's completely fine... people are naturally going to want to get to know you more, and find out what you're all about and vice versa. It's sort of up to an individual as to when someone has crossed some line, and when they should be guarded. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 08:37 AM Forgive me, I left a bit out. I think it is also important to note, that not everyone is who they seem to be at first. That's why I've heard it's good to court/get to know each other, the other person's family, their friends..their beliefs. Ask their family and/or friends questions about them. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 01:33 PM "This isn't stalking - we're monitoring you for crime prevention purposes..." Personally I think it's about not feeling in control; that somebody views or takes more interest in you than you want them to. IME, women like to feel in control in every aspect of their lives and when they're not they don't like it (e.g. the "pro-choice" brigade), though obviously they all vary in how much or little they can accept. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 04:01 PM Personally I think it's about not feeling in control; that somebody views or takes more interest in you than you want them to. IME, women like to feel in control in every aspect of their lives and when they're not they don't like it (e.g. the "pro-choice" brigade), though obviously they all vary in how much or little they can accept. --- Hmm, being stalked is certainly an experience for some young women, and I wager if some 6 foot some burly guy (or woman, in your case) was showing more than enough interest in you when you showed none in him that you might see things very differently. Good men understand that women are to be protected and that they need to feel secure, that is the role of the husband, to protect and keep his wife. If you had a daughter who came to you with a problem like this, told you some man wouldn't leave her alone, would you blame her, and tell her that she lead him on, or just didn't like how it felt to be liked that much? A good shepherd does not go to his sheep and say."I think you just don't like that you can't control the fact that that wolf likes you. Want to go take a bath in barbecue sauce?" God bless Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 04:05 PM By the way, isn't it the very epitome of anti-feminism to ask of you to be protective? I mean you men say you do not like women who lash out at you for opening doors, or lifting things for us which we clearly do not have the muscle mass to do so with...yet you ignore the very basic instinct a man should have towards a woman; to protect her. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 04:09 PM "Then he asked, �Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father�s house for us to spend the night? � Genesis 24:22-23 This man had never met this girl before. Was he a "stalker"? Not really, he was Abraham's servant. "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day. Ruth 3:18 Talk about rushing things...what was Boaz thinking? Lastly, "And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down. And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman." Ruth 3:7-9 Just imagine the ways these peoples actions could have been interpreted... This is an interesting thread and the responses thus far seem to be based largely upon varying "opinions". With the vast differences used by people to communicate, combined with unlimited possibilities for opinions, I would think that good communication would be vital between two persons especially in the arena of online courting / dating. Otherwise you not only set yourself up for unwanted contact, but you may also intentionally or unintentionally lead others on. Scripture specifically warns us against judging another's intentions. Instead, we should respectfully ask what someone's intentions are and set appropriate boundaries. Use simple Biblical principals found in scripture and treat others how we ourselves would want to be treated. Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 04:19 PM I would like to add that my above post is not in response of yours MsMarvel but in response to the overall thread... Post Reply
gershonmn View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 16 May, 2012 09:31 PM to sara , ms marvel and all of you who replied . I just found out that if you go to settings and check NO in the box that ask if you want to let people know you vied their profile. the problem does not exist, I note based on that option it is only the KNOWING that one is looking at your info a lot that is the problem. since they can do the same thing in secret with no issues G Post Reply
View Profile History	stalking ?? Posted : 17 May, 2012 03:22 PM @msmarvel: You must have heard the saying that you can stop birds nesting in your hair but not from flying around your head? If my daughter said she was being observed by a man and she didn't like it I'd tell her the same and advise she went somewhere he couldn't go because whilst he's not breaking any laws, her or my feelings about the man are irrelevant as she has no special "rights" not to be observed. That may sound harsh, but the world generally deals in facts and evidence, not feelings and opinions, and it us who have to learn to accept it, not vice-versa... Post Reply

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