Author	Thread: Submission in the proper context
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 07:59 AM When you think of submission what comes to your mind? If your husband asked you to engage in behavior such as viewing pornography, or visiting men's clubs what would your reaction be? Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 08:35 AM If my husband asked me to do something like that, I would make an appointment for counseling for us. Houston, we've got a problem! If his needs arent getting met, then there is a deeply rooted spiritual issue that needs to be addressed. Post Reply
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 08:48 AM River: You are most definately correct! You will need some counseling. Hopefully, he will ask you before you are married so you won't need marriage counseling!!!!!! Post Reply
JessieH View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 09:12 AM First, I would sit down next to him and ask why he wanted to do that. The reasoning would be the most important thing. If he had never seen porn or a dancer in his life, then I wouldn't worry about counseling right away. If he closed off about why, then I would run us both straight to counseling. Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 10:33 AM but would he go? At that point, it seems that if he was wishy washing in the justification, he's already been thinking about it a while and is wanting some stimulation outside the marriage bed. Hopefully he would recognize the problem. What would you do if he went without you? Knowing or unknowing? Leave? Ask him to leave? Make him sleep on the couch? Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 03:00 PM wow tough question, I would probably ask him why he wanted us to do this and then pray for him and us. I would also ask him to pray about it. If after all of that I would seek councling for myself and him if he would go if not I would go alone and continue to pray about it.. hoping God would provide a way out for US Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 04:20 PM Submission: First thought is, "Great!" This is the total opposite of what it used to be. I used to be completely independent with the attitude of, "Anything you can do I can do better." Now I'm realizing that if I truly put the man to the test & made sure he's treating me the way Christ said he's to treat me, then I should have no fear in submitting. Our culture has turned submission into a bad thing. Ladies, if you chose a man that you assume truly loves you, why wouldn't you submit to him? Submission doesn't mean he runs your life. Submission includes respecting him to the highest degree, loving him, and taking care of him. He's going to do the same for you. We've made submission out to be a horrible thing and it really isn't. Our husbands should be looking out for us and for our needs. We do the same in return. Before I submit to him, I submit to God. If I know that what he's doing is blatantly breaking God's guidelines for marriage, I will put my foot down because I've been called to follow God before all others, and I will. Along with that will come the marital counseling. Honestly, this isn't something I'm afraid of dealing with because I understand that men struggle heavily with these issues, but I will make sure things are set straight and that the marriage is put back on track. Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 05:03 PM I get very tired of hearing how matters of sexual sin are supposedly harder for men, so we are supposed to let them get away with more. Just because somebody struggles with alcoholism does not mean they should have more leeway. It seems like any given Christian community would be more outraged by a woman being adulterous than a man, and I think that is very wrong. With that out of the way�. If I were to marry the boyfriend I have now and this situation arose, divorce probably would not be far behind. We have already discussed enough about our beliefs of right and wrong that I hope he would know that that kind of behavior would be completely unacceptable and agree that it was so. If he had a fixation with pornography or dancers on his own, I would expect him to not try to pull me into it as well. Anything else would be betrayal (essentially lying, since we have already established what we believe to each other and agreed) and irresponsibility in his role as head in taking me down with him. The Christian community is always harping on women about submission, but marriage is a two-way street and you cannot expect one to be able to do their job without the other doing theirs. Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 05:05 PM I get very tired of hearing how matters of sexual sin are supposedly harder for men, so we are supposed to let them get away with more. Just because somebody struggles with alcoholism does not mean they should have more leeway. It seems like any given Christian community would be more outraged by a woman being adulterous than a man, and I think that is very wrong. With that out of the way�. If I were to marry the boyfriend I have now and this situation arose, divorce probably would not be far behind. We have already discussed enough about our beliefs of right and wrong that I hope he would know that that kind of behavior would be completely unacceptable and agree that it was so. If he had a fixation with pornography or dancers on his own, I would expect him to not try to pull me into it as well. Anything else would be betrayal (essentially lying, since we have already established what we believe to each other and agreed) and irresponsibility in his role as head in taking me down with him. The Christian community is always harping on women about submission, but marriage is a two-way street and you cannot expect one to be able to do their job without the other doing theirs. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 05:29 PM As a man, I'll easily say that such requests are completely inappropriate. Far more harm would come from both parties engaging in those actions than if the wife didn't submit. And Siylii, I think part of the shock to the woman having an affair would be that a woman actually wanted sex. Since when did, "Men really struggle with sexual temptation because they're the only ones who want sex, but women don't have that trouble because they only do it to make their husbands happy,"? Post Reply
View Profile History	Submission in the proper context Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 08:34 PM I have my own theories on why a lot of women don't want to have sex with their husbands, but that's another topic for another time. :goofball: Post Reply

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