Author	Thread: problem
Admin	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 02:33 PM I received a wedding invitation to my exwives son's wedding. I am uncertain weather I should go. The boy and his fiancee plotted to end my marriage and did things to offend me. it was done to my face.I have forgiven them and have moved on.I just wish to get on with my life. Uncertain what I should do.The wedding is on April 17th so I have time to think about it.Dennis Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 05:05 PM If you don't feel comfortable attending this wedding (and who could blame you) I think it would be appropriate for you to send them a card of congratulations and best wishes for their future together. You could add that unfortunately you are unable to attend. You obviously don't need to give a reason why. If you still feel uneasy about it - why don't you plan to go out for dinner that night or something. Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 08:00 PM Dennis, this is hard to answer without knowing all the details. Have you talked to them since the divorce? How has their attitude been? What is your 'sense' as to why you got invited to the wedding (given what happened in the past). Just because you have forgiven him for what he did (by God's grace) does not automatically mean you should go to the wedding. Trust your feelings. Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 08:03 PM well i haven't been there done that, but i can imagine that's a pretty ackward situation. Even still, just my gut instinct would be to go, if it's not too inconvenient, if for no other reason than to say 'hey, i'm here, and i'm doing well'. there's gotta be a reason they invited you. yes it is possible that it may be just to rub it in and if that's the case then 'wow', but maybe they've changed. you'll never know that reason till you show up, maybe you'll find out maybe you won't, but either way i'd show up, be polite, pleasant and respectable and then go on my merry way. Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 09:10 PM i wouldn't go. wouldn't even consider, i'd just reach over and ... get, that, dirt off my shoulder. hahahaha. nyanda:purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 10:04 PM Godslamb, with all due respect, i don't think "Trust your feelings." is really very solid instruction. my eyes passed over it a couple times and it just unsettles me. granted, feelings are a product of thoughts and actions and can be used to judge in certain situations based upon experience. but it is quite frivolous without adequate thought and prayer. and STILL it is very untrustworthy! nyanda:purpleangel: p.s feelings are good for somethings, and not so good for others:angeldevil: Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 06:09 AM Thank you all for your advice.Dennis Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	problem Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 08:23 PM Hey Dgr..... If you feel wierd and still uncertain about going come next week, then don't go. You've forgiven him in your heart, but you are under no obligation to go. Unless you feel you owe him something or some reverence for your ex-wife still, then just send a congrats card and be done with it. As you say, you've moved on with your life. I understand what the others are saying, but this is my opinion. ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 07:48 AM I would sort thru all my feelings and ask the question, do I really want to go? Without the sense of obligation or without any consideration for anyone's feelings, do you want to go? If yes, go and be gracious. If no, then do as the other's have suggested and send a card. Regardless, be at peace with whatever decision you decide. :dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 11:07 PM Dennis, If it were me (and I have always been untraditional)...I would accept the invitation -- buy them whatever gift you would deem appropriate. I would "Dude" myself up (looking Real pretty) and have a Great Time! Dancing and just enjoying myself. I would be very polite when I meet them (shake his hand...kiss her's -- it is very important that you get that sequence right!). I would stand tall and under NO CIRCUNSTANCES would I allow them to goad me or excite me into reacting to any of their attempts. I would have this "constant" smile on my face and I would "Gorge" myself at the buffet. The only thing they would hear from my mouth are good things and my wishes that their future be In God's Hand and That I wish them the best. I think Jesus would approve! Peace Brother! Post Reply
View Profile History	problem Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 11:49 AM i think you have a real opportunity here to gain alot of respect and show some real class. even if they were or are still unclassy eventually they will catch up and understand. it's one of those things that's difficult now, but years from now they'll look back on it and be like 'wow'. just showing up means alot at weddings in that way. Post Reply

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